[sarahsweets]

I was on my way back from getting cortizone injections in my joints when I got a call from the vice principal. I wasnt able to drive my daughter Ella to school today- or rather let her drive because she has her permit so she had to take the bus. Apparently she and some other kids entered the school through secondary unlocked doors and let other kids in. Its very cold. When I take her you drop off in front of the main doors. The resource officer/cop caught them and referred them with write ups to the Vice principal. The VP talked to my daughter and the other kids involved and stressed the importance of using the one entrance due to the spate of school violence. I get it, school shootings are everywhere and they do not want strangers walking into the building. She recently had a lockdown. The VP told me she had a talk with her and gave her detention . Normally this happens during study hall but her schedule is so jammed its after school on Thurs, I can either pick her up or she can take the late bus. She is a rule follower and always has been. This is going to devastate her. It does not go on her permanent record but couldnt they have a talk with the kids being there is no behavior problems? Does it really warrant detention? She has always followed the rules and I suspect she went along with the other kids although I will have to talk to her tonight. I mean a firm talking to and warning would seem to me to be enough. Am I overreacting? I was very nice on the phone with the VP and said I would talk to her about it but it seems over the top. What do you all think?

[TishaBuv]

I would tell her I understand that she used that door because it was cold and seemed like the right thing to do, logically, in the moment. The fact that they are making an example of the kids because of the safety threats is something the school wants to do to try to keep security tight, for good reason. I’d tell her it is just one detention and not the end of the world. It won’t affect her grades. It was just one silly mishap. She’ll remember to take the other door, should something like this happen again.

I know following rules is important, but it's not the end of the world, for sure. I can't even remember how many detentions I had (ditto my sister and brother) and we didn't turn out bad in the end.

I remember being more afraid of my parents knowing than the actual detention. It had mostly to do with my parents' strict rule about being home on time for dinner. Back in the late 1970s in PA we even had the choice of the paddle. We often chose that. It was even kinda funny! I know that's forbidden in most places, nowadays.

[SlumberKitty]

Wow, I don't think I would have given a kid detention because of that. I understand the need for security in today's day and age, but especially a kid who is well behaved and doesn't get in trouble, I think a warning would have sufficed. HUGS Kit

[lizardlady]

Maybe because I'm based in a school I have a slightly different perspective. What message would it send to the other students if she did not have to have the same consequences as any other student?

Seems like this could be a learning experience. One afternoon of detention is not going to ruin her life. Help her see the rule exists for safety reasons and move on.

[~Christina]

Well she won’t do it again is really the take away. With violence in schools today I’m sure they have a strict policy on where students should and should not enter and are following that policy.

Maybe tell her to use that time wisely on any homework she might have.

I do hope your injections are helpful

[*Beth*]

I'm a rebel and wouldn't you know it, both of my kids grew up to be successful rule-followers by societal standards. (Just some background.)

I don't find it okay that any students are "given a talking to", reprimanded, punished, shamed or in any way made to feel bad because we have people who needed mental health care they didn't receive shooting up schools!!!!

Give me a break

[sarahsweets]

I totally get the security thing but she and 1 other girl were letting the seniors who park in the student lot in which is apparently supposed to be open. Yes this will not be on her permanent record but she brought up a good point...they were never told not to let the seniors in if the door was locked so she didnt think she was doing anything wrong. She responds very strongly to being talked to seriously by anyone in authority and I think in this circumstance that would have sufficed. Normally detention is given during study hall and lunch but she doubled up on classes so it will just be her after school until 4 on thursday. She usually gets her homework done in class so I told her to hold off until detention. I kept my cool with the VP no sense in making trouble or acting like my kid is perfect. Her other point was in her words: "Mom, people Juul in the bathrooms and sell weed and adderall out of their lockers. I am getting detention for letting the seniors from the senior lot into the building?" She has a point. But its a lesson, I told her to let it go and I know she will never do it again. I explained to her that the world is full of gatekeepers and the VP is one that stands in the way of her having a successful HS years and that this was not one of those times to go all mama bear on her.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I totally get the security thing but she and 1 other girl were letting the seniors who park in the student lot in which is apparently supposed to be open. Yes this will not be on her permanent record but she brought up a good point...they were never told not to let the seniors in if the door was locked so she didnt think she was doing anything wrong. She responds very strongly to being talked to seriously by anyone in authority and I think in this circumstance that would have sufficed. Normally detention is given during study hall and lunch but she doubled up on classes so it will just be her after school until 4 on thursday. She usually gets her homework done in class so I told her to hold off until detention. I kept my cool with the VP no sense in making trouble or acting like my kid is perfect. Her other point was in her words: "Mom, people Juul in the bathrooms and sell weed and adderall out of their lockers. I am getting detention for letting the seniors from the senior lot into the building?" She has a point. But its a lesson, I told her to let it go and I know she will never do it again. I explained to her that the world is full of gatekeepers and the VP is one that stands in the way of her having a successful HS years and that this was not one of those times to go all mama bear on her.

It's my opinion that you handled the situation better than the school did.

[WastingAsparagus]

Sounds like BS to me. Did they say that things like this usually go on one's permanent record? To me, that would be ludicrous for something so minor to go on someone's permanent record.

I was a bit of a troublemaker in high school though, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm anti-authoritarian, as well. But, really. It sounds like you handled it well. Better than I would have, if I were a parent, most likely.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I was on my way back from getting cortizone injections in my joints when I got a call from the vice principal. I wasnt able to drive my daughter Ella to school today- or rather let her drive because she has her permit so she had to take the bus. Apparently she and some other kids entered the school through secondary unlocked doors and let other kids in. Its very cold. When I take her you drop off in front of the main doors. The resource officer/cop caught them and referred them with write ups to the Vice principal. The VP talked to my daughter and the other kids involved and stressed the importance of using the one entrance due to the spate of school violence. I get it, school shootings are everywhere and they do not want strangers walking into the building. She recently had a lockdown. The VP told me she had a talk with her and gave her detention . Normally this happens during study hall but her schedule is so jammed its after school on Thurs, I can either pick her up or she can take the late bus. She is a rule follower and always has been. This is going to devastate her. It does not go on her permanent record but couldnt they have a talk with the kids being there is no behavior problems? Does it really warrant detention? She has always followed the rules and I suspect she went along with the other kids although I will have to talk to her tonight. I mean a firm talking to and warning would seem to me to be enough. Am I overreacting? I was very nice on the phone with the VP and said I would talk to her about it but it seems over the top. What do you all think?

I'm sorry that she had to experience that because she was cold. You handle it very well.