Do you think this is a ''positive'' and life affirming thing?

Do you think that its positive and life affirming having cliques or tribes or whatever they are called? I do not. And I suspect I am in the minority, I find them toxic and unpleasant. I think they make this world a colder, sicker place.

Respect to all

Oh gosh, I hate this modern trend of "find your tribe" ....follow a group of people blindly without questioning. Yeah, I don't see it as a good thing, usually these "tribes" are attached to something commercial and vacuous.

No, I don't think the clique and the tribe are particularly life-affirming things at all, Fuzzy. Why form a clique? Why separate oneself from the rest? I understand why people do this, but without thinking, it is in many ways a divisive thing. 'Us' and 'them' when really there is no 'us and them', there's just people.

Looking from another angle...I've had the feeling "I've found my tribe" before. To me it's more about finding where you belong rather than shutting others out.

Yes, people can shun others who they feel are not good enough for them. These are very shallow people and you probably wouldn't have much in common any way. Besides, they aren't good enough for the Bear

You make a good point here. Most of us, myself included, want to feel like we belong. I think it all depends greatly on the tribe itself, and whether it's a group of kind and open minded people, open to change, or rigid and exclusive.

Lots of people benefit greatly from having a group of friends with one or two things in common that gets together regularly. I've been one of those people myself.

I guess, and I'm only speaking for myself, I'm talking about a different type of group. The most notable difference being in the name as Fuzzy mentioned "clique" "Tribe" often starts out on the surface as being a group of friends with a common goal, but quickly turns into a "clique" with little room for change,and critical thought....that's not a good thing for anyone in my humble opinion.

PC is my clique.

I think it depends on the clique. If it exists for the self-grandizement of members and puts down non members then it's negative.

But if it's inclusive of anyone who wants to join and supportive it can be helpful. For example, in high school, I belonged to what could have been called a clique - we were the school's smart social misfits. We claimed a corridor of the school as "our" space an hung out there at lunch and on spares, we welcomed anyone who was into philosophy or poetry or theater or debating or politics, basically anything intellectual that didn't fit with the majority of the student interests. But anyone was welcome at any time and we didn't knock non members. For me it helped me make it through high school.

But there were definitely cliques in high school that put down non-members and I'd say they were unhealthy.

splitimage

I'm in the camp that it really depends on the group.

Cliques sounds inherently bad to me, like tight-knit groups that purposefully exclude and mock others. That's not a positive thing, obviously!

But tribes... I think tribes can be a wonderful, affirming, awesome things. To me, tribes imply finding people that share your values and interests, where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself. It's the idea of finding where you best fit in the world, which really (to me) means figuring out who you are, at your very core.

I want that - I feel lost at my core, and definitely haven't found my tribe yet.

There's also something else.. I've been reading about how, as social creatures, humans *need* a "tribe". They need a community where they feel accepted and connected, for mental health. (I don't know where else to go with that, still pondering it myself I guess!)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a close-knit group of people. In fact, emotional closeness is a basic human need. It only becomes toxic when that group defines itself by its exclusivity. It becomes highly toxic when the in-group members disparage outsiders and judge them by different standards; or when "heretical" thought becomes a cause for exclusion; or when anyone seeking to join must "pay their dues" to be included, up to the point of hazing like a frat or sorority.

People need to feel acceptance and belonging--two things so badly missing in society. But tribalism and cliquishness can quickly get ugly and become forces of exclusion for anyone not lucky enough to be an insider. Any time there is an "us," there's a "them," a "not us," who are defined by everything "we" are not, and "they" are cast first as stereotypes and then as caricatures. Seeing outsiders as complete human beings becomes impossible, and empathy goes out the window right along with it. It happens so quickly that people don't see it coming until it gets way out of hand. We see this in nearly every social institution and it's toxic. Humans as a species need to figure out how to create belonging and community without feeling the need to set others apart in order to feel bonded to those close at hand.

Well said, I completely agree.

The word "clique" is negative and implies (to me) a group of people that have separated themselves because they believe they are better, in some way, than everyone else.

With regard to "tribe", I agree with guilloche. To me a tribe is (or should be) a group of people who share something good and healthy and are open to others joining in - but the tribe should never shut others out or look down upon them.

I was always too independent to find any group I actually was willing to belong to in school. But the thing was, I got along with people from all the different groups & was accepted for who I was by everyone & was very active in school & even after school when I started my career. I had so many different things I actively enjoyed doing & each was its own different group of people. I find I am still like that even now. No one really overlaps from activity group to activity group I am involved with. Each group is very supportive in its own ways. Nice to be accepted by so many people. I have people I am closer to than others but we enjoy activities together & help each other when any need arises. My life style & involvement in so many different activities make a clique or tribe not something that eould ever wirk in my life