I am struggling with this and not sure how to proceed. Often, if I feel that someone i am talking to is not taking "the hint" or proceeding as I feel they should, it makes me upset.

Probably because I feel like people just don't respect my boundaries and I don't understand why. I feel like I need to throw a hiss fit to get them to.

For example. Today is a holiday in my state. I am entitled to a day off. Covid-19 work at home or not. I actually forgot about it but when reminded by human resources I sent their email to my boss reminding him. He didn't pay attention to it and something came up that required me to work today... of course, it didn't really but he just started planning for today and I assumed it would just be easier to get it over with. Then he starts sending me e-mails about other work related things. I again reminded him that after the work thing was over this morning it was a holiday and I would be taking the rest of the day off. Now pretends he doesn't know all of this. At this point I am very upset and struggling not to say something snarky. I am so freaking sick of it.

Then, I have been struggling with loud music being played where I am living. Since I am on the board I proposed to my co trustee that we send out a benign reminder to people about noise during Covid-19. I even wrote up the reminder. I justified what was happening. He responded with "have you tried to locate the problem?" Ugh, I explained the 6 month treck I have been on to locate the source in the first e-mail. Then he responds with, you should talk to your neighbors directly. Um... no...it is the BOARD'S responsibility to take care of noise problems -- NOT MINE as a resident. I almost sent him a nasty e-mail to that effect but I took it back. His final e-mail was one of "I completely understand"-- which made me realize I could have blown up at him because I didn't feel like he was taking me seriously. But apparently he was.

I am on a hair trigger lately and I feel like people need to pay attention and act accordingly --THE FIRST TIME--and I am growing closer and closer to a severe overreaction.

It is justified? Is it a guy thing that they don't pay attention? I don't know how to resolve this. How do people get other people to take them seriously? Do I have to throw a hiss fit at everything?

[winter4me]

As a neighbor and a member of the board, I would think it appropriate to speak directly to your neighbor, in a respectful manner, asking them to lower the music after certain hours (it sounds like you live in a planned community?). Everyone is doing what they can to cope. It is one thing to want people to take you seriously and acknowledge your concerns, it is another to expect people to do what you want them to do, or act according to your wishes.
As for the work. It sounds almost like you set yourself up. Being a holiday, you could have been unavailable, or, if not, certainly paid at a higher rate. Again, it would make sense to talk directly to your boss, vs sending an HR memo, and it would be OK to say, without being snarky "I am finished work for today, I have other plans. Talk to you...?tomorrow? Have a great rest of the day?
Throwing a "hiss fit" isn't likely to encourage anyone to listen to whatever the 'message' is underneath the behavior. It is a good way to be dismissed by others.

[unaluna]

Yeah i have to partly agree with winter4me. Re the noisy neighbor, my apt mgr has told me to talk to the neighbor myself. OTOH, in this case, emily HAS tried to find the source, unsuccessfully. At the beginning of lockdown, our apt mgt sent out an email notifying us of procedural changes, including a request to be extra considerate of loud music etc. So if such a memo wasnt sent, you could send one now. We recently received another, thanking us for keeping the laundry and mail rooms clean, observing masking protocols, and being understanding about slow response time to essential requests.

Then again, re work - if you are management, you are kinda screwed, arent you? They expect you to work every moment you are breathing. And to be grateful you even have a job. And not to forget youre a woman. No wonder i still have nightmares.