[CANDY4339]

Im done trying to figure this all out. Maybe im the only problem in my game of life. No one seems to have the same rules and i cant seem to change the way i play...all i want out of this life is to live in peace. Happily without hostility or drama. I do unto you as i would like you to do unto me... But i have come to understand that you cant live like that if there is other people in your world. Because everyones idea of those words are different and if you open your door you have to go on gaurd, be defensive, become confrontational and sometimes mean. Those are the main things i cant live with.,let me live my life and be happy its ok if this means being alone at least i am in Lonely peace.

[Skeezyks]

I personally have simply shut the world out to as complete an extent as possible. I do have my spouse. But she's all... no extended family, friends or even acquaintances really... by choice. I don't watch the news on TV or read newspapers or magazines. There's nothing I can do about any of it. And I just don't care to know about any of it. I may still exist in this world... but I am no longer of this world... if that makes sense. I imagine the world to be like a noisy clanging parade marching off into the distance. And I'm just sitting alone on the curb watching as the parade disappears over the horizon.

[CANDY4339]

Thank you for that comment. I guess im not as alone at least in how i feel, as i thoght i was. This is just a joke but i really dont mind this conovirus trend that we have going on right now. I tell everyone iv self quarantined. Its awful to use that as an excuse to keep people away from my house right? But it works for now.

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I personally have simply shut the world out to as complete an extent as possible. I do have my spouse. But she's all... no extended family, friends or even acquaintances really... by choice. I don't watch the news on TV or read newspapers or magazines. There's nothing I can do about any of it. And I just don't care to know about any of it. I may still exist in this world... but I am no longer of this world... if that makes sense. I imagine the world to be like a noisy clanging parade marching off into the distance. And I'm just sitting alone on the curb watching as the parade disappears over the horizon.

this is a great description (the parade thing), and certainly rings true on certain ocasions.

friday and saturday nights, for example, when everyone is going out on a date and I'm sat at home

september- when everyone has plans for colledge, university, back to work, I'm sat at home.

it sucks.

and as for friends, I don't have many (if any)

my very best friend passed away a couple years ago, and everyone else tends to not like the fact I have so many problems (and that I am boring,) yes: that has been said to me before.

friendships don't last long over here

[poshgirl]

Candy 4339, can relate so much to your thread.

Unfortunately, my family dynamics are shocking at the moment. Most friendships disappeared when I've left jobs or got fed up of friends' attitudes. Today has proved yet again, as if I need reminding, that my family are devious, scheming, arrogant individuals who have their own agenda.

Had enough of constantly being blamed for others' wrongdoing because key players are frightened of upsetting other family members.

Stay true to yourself. Friends who are genuine will remain friends. Please don't feel guilty about those who fall by the wayside. We can grow out of relationships; family ones are the hardest to jettison when we realise there's no point in continuing.

[will19]

I feel like I try to be nice as I go about my ways. Yet, when it comes to my social life, I feel like I have nothing to show for it. There are those who seem to bend the rules as far as being nice and courteous so that friends can be made. And those people seem to do much better than I do as far as the way their social lives are.

There are some people that I have a hard time understanding. They can be pretty nice at one time and then become stinkers other times. There seems to be so many like that. At my job I feel like I am more generous with others than at other settings. Perhaps it's because my job is "meat and pototoes" in my life

[CANDY4339]

When i say sometimes my house feels like living in a circus I mean just that. Sometimes I think that people only come over to be somehow entertained. I must be interesting even though i dont intend to come across like that because the last thing I want is to entice them to stay or bring them back whenever they get bored.
I dont believe anyone comes to visit really. Because that would imply to me, a 2 sided kind of exchange. But when you feel the only thing that they want from you is for you to entertain..in that case im ready to close my doors for good. Or start charging people at my door.At least ill feel i got something out of my time interrupted.

There are mean people everywhere you look, both online and offline. There's literally nothing you can do to avoid these people unless you cut yourself off from the world. And yes, there are plenty of one-sided power-imbalanced interpersonal connections (aka "fair weather" friends) to contend with too. Basically, *you* are the only consistent variable in your life, and everyone you come into contact with creates a connection with you or to you, based on how you each receive and interact with each other.

The other thing to remember is, that as we age, our priorities and our values change with time. Things you cared about at 15, you stop caring about at 20, etc. And, we can't control how other people treat us. We can set limits, draw boundaries, make requests, but that doesn't mean the other person will even consider or respect our limits, boundaries or requests.

Are you upset that you feel estranged or isolated through no fault of your own from people in your life? What conversation or event triggered you to feel like you always have to defend yourself with other people?

[Fuzzybear]

I am no longer of this world..