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karl7
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Default Jan 11, 2021 at 01:14 PM
  #1
i have a touch of social anxiety.....i feel im out of my depth when in groups of people, even when just with one person...im just wondering what do people talk about......COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME GENERAL TOPICS THAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT and any other tips
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Default Jan 11, 2021 at 01:16 PM
  #2
Well, you can always open with the weather, as that is usually not controversial (unlike religion and politics). I sometimes talk about the latest Netflix shows. Some people talk about sports, but I'm not one of them.
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Default Jan 11, 2021 at 04:06 PM
  #3
I wish I knew. I have no talent for small talk.

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Default Jan 11, 2021 at 04:31 PM
  #4
Weather

The group/thing your there to do

TV shows

Something good or bad that happened in your area of town that week

If you like something the other person/people are wearing or smelling (perfume)

If your both married (how long?)
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Default Jan 12, 2021 at 07:05 PM
  #5
Hi,

What things do you like? What interests you or grabs your attention about life? When you hear people talking about a subject you know about, does the thought that you'd like to say something too, enter your mind?

Those are just a few things I'd like you to ponder before moving on to the next stage of having conversations with people.
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Default Jan 13, 2021 at 12:58 PM
  #6
I'm generally pretty good at small talk. Perhaps being a gabby woman by nature helps, as does having a background in sales and marketing.

It's certainly helpful to try to get a sense for who you're talking with. That can easily determine what topics are safe and of interest to both parties. But if you don't know the person at all, one person should start with some basic questions and then the second should respond and follow up with related ones, or ones that can easily stem from the initial. Obviously the weather is the world known "basic" conversation piece, but as I wrote, it doesn't have limits. For example, if it's winter and cold, that can easily lead to chat on winter activities (sports, tolerance of such weather, memories of past weather events, noticing their sweater and commenting on it, etc.)

I'm not a huge fan of career talk, but it's often inevitable or at least can help lead to related topics. For example, you can always mention what your degree was in college and avoid the career talk. Or easily pivot to hobbies and interests, avoiding career talk. Or, go ahead and talk about your career.

If you are in the house/apartment of a new acquaintance, that provides a treasure trove of potential topics. Look around and see what's there. They are clues into the interests of the person. If you share one, that's excellent.

Small chat is appreciated by many. Talking about squirrels or birds or trees can be fun. Coffee or tea enthusiast? Plenty to discuss.

I do think it's important to be at least almost equal in the questions asked/answered. One-sided conversations are problematic. If a tough/unwelcome question is asked, learn how to pivot, by returning a question in response. It's best to keep conversations with new people positive, even if you feel like ****. Less positive stuff can be discussed later.
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Default Jan 13, 2021 at 11:10 PM
  #7
Good posts above

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Default Jan 15, 2021 at 06:53 AM
  #8
I have really bad SAD and GAD and besides my wife and really about two friends, with others If I am out of my comfort zone it really doesn't matter in the end to me If I talk briefly about the Avalanche's last game. It's always just a pass by and a few words but that's how I'm wired I think

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Default Jan 15, 2021 at 07:34 AM
  #9
I think they talk about if they want soy or almond milk in their frappuccino!

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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 07:35 AM
  #10
I talk about whatever comes to my mind and that's not always good. I was talking to a stranger and told him when I woke up one morning I felt a big tear in the back of my boxer shorts so I took them off to throw them away when suddenly I realized there was no tear. I had them on backwards.
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Default Jan 16, 2021 at 09:46 AM
  #11
I sometimes reveal too much when I talk too.
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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 03:02 PM
  #12
I am often too deep when I make small talk, but I'd say just asking about someone's day, hobbies, interests, what they like to do for fun, recreation, etc., can be useful.

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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 07:58 PM
  #13
if among coworkers or other such people you know almost nothing about but are always mingling in work situations.. observe some traits .. not in a creepy sneaky way just a pic of a dog on their desk or every tuesday a few order out a pizza lunch type thing .. then simply small chit chats that are focused in those areas... oh i saw on news last night some dog food recall ... or hey a friend of mine said that new pizza joint is real good ...
if its a stranger in check out grocery line . find a goofy headlne on some gossip tabloid right there in the rack and comment on that..
an employee of one of ur frequent haunts u r always running into each other, refer back to a prior trip in that store and mention oh man those new chips u guys got in are yuuummmy... or wow i love those flower pots back there il remember them when i repot some of my plants
you can always bring up a subject in terms of needing advice or sugestions.. but dont make stuff up to do it . draw on current things really going on.. .. i got no clue what to get my nephew for his graduation .. any one have a good suggestion to get him.. or.. hey just letting you know passing the word, the hamburger helper ON SALE at grocery isnt ringing up sale price so just watch & make sure you dont get dupped.
once you can get to feel comportable in those sorts of impersonal/ personal interactions the rest will fall in to place as you build more common areas of interest and it will start to come more easily and naturally for you to do.
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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 08:31 PM
  #14
'Are you reading anything good?'

Surprisingly, most people are, and have a lot to say about the book!
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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 09:06 PM
  #15
I sometimes ask people if they have a favourite wild animal

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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 01:07 AM
  #16
I am excellent at small talk but I work in customer service and most customers seem to like to make small talk.

I used to be very shy in social situations so my trick was to find something the other person really liked. It has been my experience that a lot of people will talk and talk about something they like. You can just nod or toss in an "Interesting!" or a "That's really neat!" Or "I didn't know that." and they will just keep going lol

Topics for small talk: the weather
pets, children or both
movies
books
hobbies
local news
where you/they go to school(if in school) and majors/minors
music
local restaurants/food or if they have been somewhere good that they could recommend
podcasts/apps that you might have in common
video games (if either of you play)
sports
cars
cooking
clothing/fashion

Personally I stay away from anything deep unless I know the person really well but a few times a new acquaintance has started off with a deep topic and for me that's fine but if it makes you uncomfortable it's ok to tell them that.

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Default Jan 19, 2021 at 02:04 AM
  #17
Well some people sit around and talk about other people. I would recommend avoiding those gossip-y types. Talking about other people always bites you in the butt and trust me those people will talk trash about you the second you are out of ear shot.
Then you have those who like to discuss current events and what is going on in the world. Personally I think there is enough of that depressing and anxiety triggering nonsense on the news channels ALL DAY LONG.
I like to hang out with people who share ideas and talk about how things were back in the "good ol' days" when life didn't move at the speed of light. I enjoy people who can hold a conversation without having to belittle someone else or complain about the current state of the government. Its been my experience that the kind of people I like, are not what society considers "normal." but that's okay because neither am I. And I like my anxiety-riddedn self just the way that I am.
I have rambled a lot but my real point is you gotta put yourself out there in order to learn how to have those awkward comvos. Ome of the greatest Hockey players in my life time - Wayne Gretzky- said it like this: "You will always miss 100% 0f the shots you did not take." So get out there and take some chances. You might stumble along the way or you might find your people...you will never know unless you take that shot.
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Default Jan 27, 2021 at 08:53 PM
  #18
I wish that I knew. Movies, books usually get me into trouble.
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Default Jan 29, 2021 at 06:30 AM
  #19
I feel the important thing is not only to equally ask and answer, but also to allow for gaps in the conversation. If you nervously ask or say the first thing that pops in your mind everytime there is a gap, two things happen: a. you sometimes say stupid stuff. b. you never allow the other person to guide the conversation, so they may feel stuck and annoyed by it.
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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 04:03 PM
  #20
Whatever comes to my mind....I always have great conversations with anyone I come across even if I don't know them. There isn't much I don't know a little about, enough to have casual conversations with people about almost anything.

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