advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
pachyderm
Legendary
 
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm without status for sure.
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2021 at 07:38 AM
  #1
Don’t Mistake Silent Endurance for Resilience - The New York Times

Quote:
Mental health professionals like to say that we’re all floating around the world like little rubber bands: We encounter a challenge, which makes us stretch, grow and bounce back. That’s how resilience is meant to work.

But that all assumes that hard times end. What if there’s always something else? What if you go through a year as relentless as this last one has been for so many of us: illness, death, home-schooling, job losses, systems crumbling left and right? An entire year of hobbling around with two flat tires but only one spare, praying for an uneventful day or two, until the next tire blows?

What happens is that you get used to it — something with which I am all too familiar. Tolerating things I didn’t enjoy was, for a long time, my superpower, one I had cultivated after an eventful childhood. By many metrics my upbringing was blissful: boundless love, laughter, globe-trotting adventures. But I also know change and trauma, having moved over 30 times over three decades, across a childhood punctuated by dramatic loss, including violent conflict in my homeland, Kashmir, and the death of my beloved grandfather. My little rubber band eventually settled, taut and brittle, seemingly forever. In powering through the discomfort of constant change, I became inured to it.

Resilience without any waning period, turned into endurance, and I became adept at snuffing out my own vulnerability and discomfort before I even felt it. I grew into someone who could live anywhere, befriend anyone, be anyone, do anything — the harder, the better.

And it was these exact qualities that garnered praise.
Sound familiar?

__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
pachyderm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, downandlonely
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, eskielover, RoxanneToto, Skeezyks, unaluna

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2021 at 12:08 PM
  #2
As my father was fond of saying many years ago: "You're not required to like it. You're just required to do it." I took that as my mantra...
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, downandlonely, RoxanneToto
 
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
downandlonely
Legendary
 
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2021 at 08:07 PM
  #3
I wonder if I'm like that. I don't seem to feel emotions as deeply as other people do. Maybe I've just taught myself not to care.
downandlonely is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:46 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.