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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 10:54 AM
  #1
I've heard of the concept of depressive realism where mildly depressed people actually see things for how they are more realistically than those with moderate or severe depression, another mental illness, or those who have no illness at all and who are super optimistic. I've sometimes wondered if I have this myself since I always feel down a lot but at the same time, I see things more realistically, I recognize all points of view and expect nothing of a situation until proven so. Also my gut tends to be right a lot which has saved me from countless problems. And I've seen it in other people too. People who claim to be mildly depressed seem to see things in a more realistic perspective.

People with this mindset also see those who are super optimistic as being very naive and getting their hopes up too quickly. I am that way myself. When I go in for interviews or try to meet new people in a social setting, I don't expect a good outcome right away. I hope for a good outcome, but anticipate disappointment at the same time, recognizing that not every outcome will be positive. However with very optimistic people, I've seen them get their hopes up countless times, only to have them slashed and the sadness that follows appears to be more immense since they were so hopeful.

There is nothing wrong with being optimistic, but I do believe there is a fine line between realism and overly optimism. Being overly optimistic just comes off as naive and basically just setting yourself up for major disappointment. While being realistic lets you realize that the outcome of a situation, whether it's a social get together, interview, or anything else, may not go as one might hope. Being more realistic seems to lessen the blow of disappointment. In that case, if something doesn't go the way you wanted it, you will think, "Well, that is to be expected. It happens." The disappointment will still be there, just not as immense.

Do you believe in the concept that mildly depressed people are actually more realistic? I do believe this mindset helps with realistically judging a situation and knowing that a desired outcome may or may not happen. I've known several people with this mindset and honestly, looking back, they were actually right about a lot of things. And I still know people like that. Also they are also more likely to not be as affected by something going wrong since they already expect it. Meanwhile, those who are very optimistic appear to get hurt more and seems to affect them more too. There's nothing wrong with being hopeful, but I believe knowing that things may not go the way you hoped is better than assuming everything will go right only to have your hopes blasted out of the water.. Do you have a more realistic point of view? Just wondered what you thought.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 11:15 AM
  #2
Interesting thoughts.

I think optimism needs to be couched to a certain extent. Blind optimism can be supremely disappointing and can also lead to bad outcomes.

For example, just saying, "I am the best person in the world," or any affirmation, really, like that, would not make anyone happier. It might even cause sociopathy.

Even less evident sayings that you can repeat to yourself like: "This is going to go well" - those are not proven to be helpful in creating positive emotions either.

I believe that optimism must be based in reality, not on baseless feelings.

I also think that a "realistic" point of view is fairly subjective. I say that because many perspectives of what "reality" is diverge from each other.

Sometimes people think they must feel "positive" emotions all the time. This is hogwash in my view. Life is full of positive emotions and negative emotions... That's just part of the way it works here on Earth.

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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 11:22 AM
  #3
I think learning to be resilient is more healthy and helpful than trying to be happy all the time.
On topic, I feel similar to you, rdgrad15 - I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but I do feel down a lot (it’s basically my baseline emotion lol), and there’s not much I’m super, over optimistic about. Maybe my creative projects, but even there I get more excited about the possibilities than my chances of achieving much lol.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
Interesting thoughts.

I think optimism needs to be couched to a certain extent. Blind optimism can be supremely disappointing and can also lead to bad outcomes.

For example, just saying, "I am the best person in the world," or any affirmation, really, like that, would not make anyone happier. It might even cause sociopathy.

Even less evident sayings that you can repeat to yourself like: "This is going to go well" - those are not proven to be helpful in creating positive emotions either.

I believe that optimism must be based in reality, not on baseless feelings.

I also think that a "realistic" point of view is fairly subjective. I say that because many perspectives of what "reality" is diverge from each other.

Sometimes people think they must feel "positive" emotions all the time. This is hogwash in my view. Life is full of positive emotions and negative emotions... That's just part of the way it works here on Earth.
I totally agree. Blind optimism would only lead to disappointment. I agree assuming you are the best person in the world can basically be Narcissistic and usually those people actually are secretly insecure. In terms of people assuming everything will have a positive outcome, I agree that you are just setting yourself up for disappointment again and again. I agree that optimism should be in a realistic fashion and yes, seeing things for what they are can be subjective from person to person. What one person may see as okay, someone else may not see it that way. So they can both say they're seeing it as it is even though they have different view points.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 11:32 AM
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I think learning to be resilient is more healthy and helpful than trying to be happy all the time.
On topic, I feel similar to you, rdgrad15 - I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but I do feel down a lot (it’s basically my baseline emotion lol), and there’s not much I’m super, over optimistic about. Maybe my creative projects, but even there I get more excited about the possibilities than my chances of achieving much lol.
I absolutely agree. In fact, I'm sure some people may have been misdiagnosed ore falsely assumed to have depression when they really didn't just because they saw things more realistically than those around them. Also they are more likely to feel down more so than others. I don't get excited about stuff either, and in the rare times I do, it is very short lived. It can even just last seconds. Just how I am.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 01:16 PM
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I learned in a social psychology class that depressed people often see themselves more realistically than other people. That might start when we're kids and are told we can do anything. Some people really believe that they will end up rich and famous, and others are more cautious.

The funny thing about me is that I have major depressive disorder, but am actually an optimist. The depression is more of a chemical imbalance. But I participated in speech competitions in grad school and was convinced I did really well until I saw the results, and I was dead last. There was a major mismatch between how I saw myself and how others saw me.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 01:46 PM
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I learned in a social psychology class that depressed people often see themselves more realistically than other people. That might start when we're kids and are told we can do anything. Some people really believe that they will end up rich and famous, and others are more cautious.

The funny thing about me is that I have major depressive disorder, but am actually an optimist. The depression is more of a chemical imbalance. But I participated in speech competitions in grad school and was convinced I did really well until I saw the results, and I was dead last. There was a major mismatch between how I saw myself and how others saw me.
Yeah that makes sense. And wow, yeah that is amazing that you were able to be optimistic despite being depressed.
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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 07:06 PM
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Yes, I've read that people who have chronic, mild depression (anhedonia) are more in touch with reality. Thing is, "reality" is subjective. Through therapy, I'm finding that a more optimistic perspective is helpful. My life feels more meaningful, and I feel more stable.

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Default Apr 25, 2021 at 11:15 PM
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Yes, I've read that people who have chronic, mild depression (anhedonia) are more in touch with reality. Thing is, "reality" is subjective. Through therapy, I'm finding that a more optimistic perspective is helpful. My life feels more meaningful, and I feel more stable.
Yep I agree and yes reality can be subjective. What may be okay for one person, it may not be for another.
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Default Apr 26, 2021 at 12:14 AM
  #10
Is it because mildly depressed people tend to be more pessimistic about life? I'd assume they've already experienced hardships in their lives that they're better equipped to be mentally prepared for a negative outcome and becoming either numb or resilient to it.
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Default Apr 26, 2021 at 12:16 AM
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Is it because mildly depressed people tend to be more pessimistic about life? I'd assume they've already experienced hardships in their lives that they're better equipped to be mentally prepared for a negative outcome and becoming either numb or resilient to it.
Yeah I agree. It makes sense. They are more aware of multiple possible outcomes.
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Default Apr 28, 2021 at 01:34 AM
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Interesting. I don’t necessarily think it’s “either or”.
You are either depressed and realistic or optimistic and naive.

I am very resilient and see the world realistically but I am not depressed and have never been. I think you could be realistic and optimistic and resilient and not depressed all at the same time
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Default Apr 28, 2021 at 05:50 AM
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Interesting. I don’t necessarily think it’s “either or”.
You are either depressed and realistic or optimistic and naive.

I am very resilient and see the world realistically but I am not depressed and have never been. I think you could be realistic and optimistic and resilient and not depressed all at the same time
Yeah that makes sense. I agree that just because someone sees the world in a more realistic way doesn't mean they're depressed. They could just simply be more realistic, which I consider myself to be. Yes, I am lonely a lot, but I don't think I truly have depression. I just see things in a more realistic manner and don't get overly optimistic and naive.
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Default May 06, 2021 at 03:58 PM
  #14
I can kinda grasp the concept from personal experience. While I had my career, I didn't realize it, but it was my escape from my bad marriage I kinda realized was bad but ignored it because my fo us was on my career.

When the career collapsed & the reality of then being TRAPPED in my bad marriage because I didn't get out when I was financially able to, caused major depression to set in. Everyone else was convinced that it was my loss of career I was depressed about & all treatment was focused on that. I was so messed up at that time, I wasn't even thinking clearly enough to challenge that thinking (depression was probably related to BOTH) The feeling of being trapped was so bad I tried unsuccessfully to end it more times than I can even remember. I saw absolutely NOTHING to be optimistic about based on the reality of my situation.

13 years later, things changed & I inherited money that allowed me to leave & go far away & start life over. At that point a new positive reality was my life & the depression went away which was amazing because I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder all those 13 years & all the mental health providers determined it to be untreatable.

Reality of our situations can definitely determine depression vs optimism. I have had wonderful therapy since leaving & moving far away.....but there is a part of me that wonders if I had the same good therapy but was still TRAPPED in that old reality, whether I would have survived or not. I love my life now but I still hold tightly to knowing what reality I am dealing with is. Even with some very rough situations I have had to deal with, because I don't experience that TRAPPED reality I was in, I see life in a positive way with challenges to deal with & not trapped in a permanent situation like it looked for me during those 13 years.

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Default May 06, 2021 at 09:15 PM
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I can kinda grasp the concept from personal experience. While I had my career, I didn't realize it, but it was my escape from my bad marriage I kinda realized was bad but ignored it because my fo us was on my career.

When the career collapsed & the reality of then being TRAPPED in my bad marriage because I didn't get out when I was financially able to, caused major depression to set in. Everyone else was convinced that it was my loss of career I was depressed about & all treatment was focused on that. I was so messed up at that time, I wasn't even thinking clearly enough to challenge that thinking (depression was probably related to BOTH) The feeling of being trapped was so bad I tried unsuccessfully to end it more times than I can even remember. I saw absolutely NOTHING to be optimistic about based on the reality of my situation.

13 years later, things changed & I inherited money that allowed me to leave & go far away & start life over. At that point a new positive reality was my life & the depression went away which was amazing because I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder all those 13 years & all the mental health providers determined it to be untreatable.

Reality of our situations can definitely determine depression vs optimism. I have had wonderful therapy since leaving & moving far away.....but there is a part of me that wonders if I had the same good therapy but was still TRAPPED in that old reality, whether I would have survived or not. I love my life now but I still hold tightly to knowing what reality I am dealing with is. Even with some very rough situations I have had to deal with, because I don't experience that TRAPPED reality I was in, I see life in a positive way with challenges to deal with & not trapped in a permanent situation like it looked for me during those 13 years.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad things improved with time. And I agree that feeling trapped in that reality can be hard and makes it seem like there’s no escape.
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Default May 30, 2021 at 11:50 PM
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I am super Optimist but hasn’t To far yet.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 08:28 AM
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I am super Optimist but hasn’t To far yet.
Oh okay I see.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 03:39 PM
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I wonder if the realism itself makes a person sad.I have gone through very bad experiences in the hands of people who are supposed to be protecting me.That changed the way or I would like to say,those experiences made me very realistic.Then this realism about people ,incidents and experiences, specially when I am right about them,brings dysphoria or sadness.If I were in denial or in naive optimism ( They abused me because they loved me ) ,I don't know if I would be a happy person now.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 03:55 PM
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That's interesting Mending. We certainly don't want to stay in unhealthy relationships with people who aren't treating us well.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 04:10 PM
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I wonder if the realism itself makes a person sad.
For me it doesn't make me sad. I see the way it is & accept that is what I am dealing with & get on with my life then KNOWING what I need to deal with, resolve, or let it go completely

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