Did your childhood become an issue only when you were an adult?

I was very spoiled as a kid. Mainly by my dad who did not hide that I was his favorite. He was always getting me candy and toys. My mom would always buy me books. I was never a jerk about asking for stuff. I’d only ask once and I’d get it. I had no chores, and I was never grounded. When I went to a bad hospital for the first time when I was 13, I was in complete shock because I had never seen adults behaving so badly before. It was a pretty big wake up call that not everyone was like the people I was surrounded by as a child.

I just feel like my childhood, even though it was good, has kind of made it difficult to become independent as an adult. But I was also told by a therapist that I was failed by my school district for not telling my mom the behavior issues I was having at school.

Does anyone else feel like this or have any similar experiences?

Yes, I got pretty much what I wanted as a kid too. And I had no chores and got a weekly allowance (not much, but still I didn't have to do anything to earn it).

Going to college was challenging for me, because I had never had to keep my room clean before or manage my own schedule.

I honestly wish my mother had done more for me. growing up without love was very difficult, and failing school (and not even getting a shot at colledge) was also hard/ embarrassing.

rather than my mother say oh well, you would never have been anything anyway, it would have been nice if she'd actually tried to understand my issues, and help me through my education

it's thanks to her, I don't really have one. most of the stuff I've picked up from tv, or internet research, or getting questions wrong in quizzes (I love quizzes!)

in later years, she started telling people I was a successfull lawyer- and that really annoyed me, not least because I knew nothing about law, but people were getting the impression of me which wasn't true

My childhood is the opposite, full of humiliation and control. Now I am almost 30, and I still have not figured out most of basic things or manner. I have to learn that, sometimes the hard way, from other people. Sometimes, they surprised when they heard about our house's dumb culture.

I am not sure whether to thank them. Their humiliation makes me try to improve my life. I admit that despite the depression and such, my current life is better than my childhood and early teenager age.

My siblings and I were not spoiled, unlike what our maternal grandmother would say. I wouldn't say that my parents did anything majorly wrong in raising us, but I later down the line did wish they had done a couple things differently. Yet some of these complaints also have elements of things that we're grateful for. For example, my parents sort of left us all fend for ourselves, in terms of schooling. They never asked us if we had done homework and were hands off when it comes to encouragement to succeed. We had to motivate ourselves and choose our own journeys. The fact that they didn't raise us to fear was quite advantageous, though I'll admit that others' parents looked at that differently. We were all lucky that we never really got victimized, but I could see some others that might have, in similar circumstances. Thanks to my mother, we were given opportunities that my father likely wouldn't have given. For example, I was sent to a private school, when needed. Sent for trips around the world (had the courage to do so alone). And sent to university.

I absolutely had bipolar disorder as young as 14 or 15. My parents didn't handle that as well as I wish they had, but they weren't totally delinquent about it, either. Again, my mom was mostly to thank more than my father. I so so miss my mom, who was a loving person. I was unlucky to lose her when I was 32 years old. My husband is a gem, but I might have done even better if she was still with us. C'est la vie!

My siblings and I do complain a bit about our dad. And yet I understand why he has his negative points. We have some of our own. Nobody is perfect. He/she who says they are, are for that imperfect.

My childhood was plagued by living with 2 parents who were functional alcoholics. So, if you don't like long, sad stories, jump to the next response from another member. Because, my childhood has dogged just about every thing I have ever done. I did not get to wait until I was an adult to deal with a lot of baggage. I had to begin self-therapy before I was even a teenager.

My younger sister was born with cerebral palsy and brain damage; and bless my Mom, to her eternal credit, she did give her the bulk of her attention and love.

My youngest sister (born "normal") was the classic Golden Child, who could do no wrong in my mother's eyes; but she was actually a very angry and vicious little monster. She still is, and I have nothing to do with her anymore. (I could write a book on all of the passive/ aggressive and deceitful, ugly behaviours she excelled at, and other horrifying and soul-scouring tactics she used to get what she wanted, and it would be lengthy! She was born an abuser, and likely still is one.) On the outside, she was all sweetness and cuteness and sunny smiles. On the inside, she was a snarling, scheming, rabid, nasty creature.

My mother was, by nature, very controlling and distant; my father was more affectionate, but he could also turn surly (and scary, and snide) at the drop of a hat. Youngest 'golden child' sister received an appalling abundance of affection and praise from my mom; and don't even get me started on the reasons for it, and what it felt like, watching that travesty unfold.

So, my brother and I suffered horribly from the almost acidic lack of affection and positive reinforcements that should be part of every child's experience. The atmosphere, because of the drinking, was almost always charged with a 'You-don't-know-what-you're-gonna-get-next' aspect of living with people who are alcohol dependent. He sadly went on to develop his own psych issues, and problems with chemical and alcohol abuse, but remained a kind individual .

We did not get many of the real-life lessons or good coping skills examples that a should also, by rights, be given to young people. I could go on and on about how deficient the life lessons were.

My brother and I had to basically feel our way along the curb as we entered adulthood. It was a long, slow, uphill climb for both of us. We stayed close through our lives, until he died (too young) at the age of 54, of cancer.

My childhood, and its achingly huge deficits, has always, and probably will always, haunt me.

I don't think my childhood was ever really an issue.....HOWEVER when I started integrating my past with my present in therapy it was very enlightening to find out why I made some of the bad decisions I made & why my fighting reactions were what they were. It was kinda nice to hear a T tell me that my reactions were actually NORMAL reactions for what I had experienced & it did point out the dysfunctional parents I grew up with & the dysfunctional guy I married. It was kinda a surprise to me that I was the normal one in all that mix even though I taught myself some coping skills that didn't work well as an adult. It was also nice to find out that the mental health issues that started in my life at 42 that even landed me on disability, were actually totally situational. Once my mom died & I left my bad marriage, the situation was gone & I could finally recover from all those years of dysfunction while learning I was the one that was ok

I was raised with negativity and "guilty-til-proven-innocent" (and even THEN), and hypocritical back and forth. As a result, I am very defensive and a loner. I see society at large as an adversary. Never give anyone any trouble, though, unless they ask for it. We got material things as kids...but they came with a long speech about how lucky we were and no one ever gave THEM anything like that, etc. Nothing was ever given happily.