Want to feel alive again…….

I want to do something different…
I’m in a rut because I want to do things , like travel ,
meet people, the old fashion way. I’m not complaining.
I’m grateful for many things. But my wife and I don’t have
similar interests. And this COVID thing is frightening.
BUT , if I don’t get out soon I’m going to just fade away.
And once your gone, life goes on….

I can definitely identify with you since I feel the same way. Right now I feel as though I am merely surviving but not really living if you know what I mean.

This pandemic has been hard in everyone. It was only bearable for me because of virtual opportunities for support and connection. There are a lot of events online. Have you tried meetup or eventbrite?

Try and take things a day at a time. And maybe look into online counselling. You'll probably find you are far from alone in how you're feeling.

Depression, in my past, has lied to me, and tried to make me feel as though husband did not love me. I have gone through waves of this, over and over. He is a distant and detached workaholic type, so it was easy for me to buy into what my depression was trying to sell me.

But when I stood back, and had a good hard look at all the different ways people express love and devotion, I realized perhaps it was a combination of some disappointments and the way my depression affects how I see/ interpret things. My husband loves me. I just wish he was more affectionate, communicative, and focused on me every once in awhile. But in every other way, I wouldn't trade him for the world. Because he is dependable, hardworking, kind, and patient, compared to a lot of men I've known.

I don't know your personal circumstances. However, I do know that this IS a well-known occurrence for married/ depressed people. It shows up in a lot of symptom literature.

I like some of the other suggestions folks have offered, too.

The only other thing I would say is, don't make BIG decisions about anything until you're feeling a bit better, a bit clearer. Wait for a better mood day, and perhaps a new perspective will reveal itself to you.

Wishing you lighter days...