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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#1
What are your thoughts on showing emotion, particularly crying, at work? I think there are a range of opinions spanning from being totally inappropriate and unprofessional to it being okay as long as it's for a good reason and it's short and brief without being disruptive. It would also depend on the work environment and how close you are with your coworkers. I know very few coworkers that are not afraid to shed a tear or two every now and then while others refuse to show any kind of emotion no matter what, even if someone close to them passed away.
For me, I don't show emotion at work for fear of appearing inappropriate and unprofessional, but I'm okay with others crying at work if it's for good reason and it's not disruptive. However, some people will keep a stiff upper lip which is totally understandable especially if they believe tears are not for work and should be reserved for close friends or anyone else outside of work. Crying at work because you're a little stressed may come off as more unprofessional than crying because you found out someone passed. It also depends on the work environment, crying quietly in a cubical or somewhere private or around only one or two coworkers may be more acceptable than bawling your eyes out in front of others, especially in front of coworkers that may not be close to you or may be uncomfortable. I work at a school so I never show emotion at work because I think it's unprofessional to do so in front of students, wouldn't want to freak them out especially those who may be autistic. I've received bad news at work before and I act like it doesn't bother me but everyone is different. Also I'm not close to my coworkers especially since they're all 20-30 years older than me so I wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable and be judged by even if it was for a legitimate reason. in the past I've found out about people I was close to in college passing away and I didn't share my emotions with coworkers. I don't even like telling them what's bothering me even though they are more open with each other. Have you ever showed any kind of emotion for any reason at work? I think it's best to keep it out of work to be on the safe side but if you do show emotion then at least make sure it's not disruptive and doesn't make others uncomfortable. I know everyone handles emotions differently. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,740
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#2
I worked in an all male computer engineering group. When I first got out of the university & learning so many new things & at times feeling so very incompetent, I would just tell the guys I was taking a break & go out & walk a few miles & if tears came while walking no one would see. (I am realizing that bad marriage stress had added to my stress level or was the foundational reason for it). With more experience & successes, I didn't have tears problems until the very end when I was having a break down, was in a new group (non-technical engineering) that I hated with no way out. Then the Northridge earthquake hit & it took 6 hours to drive to work. I was already at breaking point. I sat in my private office, closed the door & sat there crying all day. 2 days like that, I went out on medical LOA & never went back.
I was always professional.....though I would take out frustrations playing racquetball with the guys at lunch....so I knew when I hit that breaking point, it wasn't good. I still don't cry unless I lose one of my fur babies __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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rdgrad15
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Member
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: Colorado
Posts: 68
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#3
I can only speak for myself.
Never been good at expressing or showing a lot of emotion. Been called "The Rock" very often. Not saying this is a good thing, just how it is with me. I cry alone. BOM |
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#4
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eskielover
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#5
Yeah same here, I am not one to express emotions as well. It has nothing to do with being macho, more of just wanting to be professional and not want to be judged by coworkers.
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Earth
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#6
Sometimes the tears just come, even if you don't want them to. Some people can't choose where, when, and how crying will happen. Edit: Of course, you can excuse yourself to the restroom or something, so there is *some* choice.
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rdgrad15
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#7
At my last job when I first started I was called “emotionless” by my coworkers and supervisor because I didn’t show any emotion and people said that I didn’t like anyone. I do come off as standoffish but its because I am very shy and I probably have selective mutism. I rarely dislike anyone.
I did end up opening up to a couple of those coworkers even though they were pretty immature. Then once most of the people in my department quit and got fired and there was a different sort of atmosphere in the workplace I was a lot better and more comfortable being there. But I did cry a couple times to the manager. Once when I first started Because I was super physically sick and my coworker was just being an asshole to me. And then the second time was because I was feeling a lot of S stuff and it was right when the pandemic started. Actually I think it was like a week before the lockdown actually. and I had been really scared for awhile and I was also just about to start my transition and I was feeling a lot. The manager talked to me and gave me a card for a workplace hotline where I could talk to someone. But to be honest a lot of people cried at that place and it wasn’t just me. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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rdgrad15
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#8
I like your threads. I find them very relatable.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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rdgrad15
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
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#9
When I was depressed, I would cry driving home from work.
Then when I was called into the office and told I was being put on probation, the tears came, but I think the boss understood. |
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#10
Yeah in some cases like finding out someone close to you passed away or some other traumatic event happened, that is more acceptable. And yeah you can always go to the restroom, that's usually the best place to go at work.
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#11
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
7 199 hugs
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#12
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
7 199 hugs
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#13
Yeah that's understandable and being put on probation is an understandable reason to get upset.
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