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Magnate
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#41
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eskielover, MuseumGhost
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eskielover
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#42
Many a times when we are facing those maladaptive expressions of anger (yelling or sarcasm) from others,we are not even responsible.Those people are angry at something or somebody else and we are just in the wrong place in a wrong time.We are used as proxy to unload their anger.It feels so unjust to me.If I happen to notice people who have maladaptive expressions, I run a mile from them.Not even worth it.I don't give second chances to such people.If they are family or close friends, I give them benefit of the doubt, but not for long.I go minimal contact if necessary to save myself.
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downandlonely, MuseumGhost
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mote.of.soul, rdgrad15
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#43
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Not appropriate in a work environment & it took years of pushing to push me to that point that actually started in my childhood environment & ended when I left it from my marriage. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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downandlonely, Mendingmysoul
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Mendingmysoul, rdgrad15
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#44
My mom used to yell at me when she was angry at my brother. And my Dad yelled at all of us to let out stress from work. I found it very frustrating and unfair. I've never taken my anger out on other people. I usually turn it inwards and make myself miserable.
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eskielover, Mendingmysoul, MuseumGhost
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Mendingmysoul, rdgrad15
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#45
Yep,I can understand you,down and lonely. My freeze response leaves me frustrated and unjustified specially when I didn't do anything to warrant other's anger.When others use me just to unload for no apparent reason.And the anger that results in me because of unjust behaviour of others,I become responsible for processing in a healthy way.I also do not use others to unload my anger. It really is a hard work trying to process our own negative emotions in a healthy manner and not to use people as proxies.
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downandlonely, MuseumGhost
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MuseumGhost, rdgrad15
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#46
This is a very thought-provoking thread.
I took a few minutes, and counted back the number of times in my life when I felt the need to raise my voice at someone. It was only a handful of times. I turns out it was almost always done out of frustration, and only rarely was it done with anger. But it never got me what I wanted---and one very horrifying time, it really ended up doing too much damage to ever repair. It always backfired on me. So I have never returned to doing it , again. And I have had lots of sarcastic things to utter, right on the tip of my tongue; but I've always known instinctively where that would get me, too, so I have never used it. I think that's why I have respect for people who can discuss things like adults. I know the kind of self-control that certain situations can require, and I've had to work on myself to get where I want to be. And I do now expect people to extend the same courtesy, when a disagreement arises, that I've always shown to them. A civil and respectful relationship is the only kind I will tolerate, from now on. |
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downandlonely
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eskielover, Mendingmysoul, rdgrad15
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Magnate
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Location: Pennsylvania
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#47
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downandlonely, Mendingmysoul, MuseumGhost
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Mendingmysoul
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#48
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downandlonely, MuseumGhost
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MuseumGhost
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Magnate
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#49
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downandlonely, MuseumGhost
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MuseumGhost
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Magnate
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#50
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downandlonely
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Mendingmysoul
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Magnate
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#51
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I’ve done that a few times which put the person in their place, I still felt bad but it had to be done since they just kept on going and going and going and going with their sarcasm to the point where I just had to put an end to it. That’s good that you learned how to control your anger, it never feels good to get angry at others since it can cause people to see you in a negative light. |
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#52
Yell because I can do it right back.
__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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eskielover
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
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#53
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#54
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Discombobulated
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
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#55
Yeah I wouldn’t do it at work since that can get you in trouble. I don’t yell anyways but work would be the worst place to yell especially since I work in a school. There have beeb times where I want to tell coworkers to stop treating me like I’m stupid and not respecting me but I prefer to keep the peace. Don’t want to take any chances of coming off as a trouble maker.
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downandlonely, eskielover
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#56
I think yelling. Sarcasm can be mean-spirited. Yelling might mean they're just frustrated.
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Fuzzybear, rdgrad15
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Magnate
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#57
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Fuzzybear
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#58
Neither. I agree though, that yelling might just mean they are frustrated. I also agree that sarcasm can be mean-spirited. It depends on the context very much though, imo.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
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Location: Pennsylvania
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#59
Yeah that is the case sometimes, people can yell out of pure frustration. Also I agree that sarcasm is mean spirited, usually there's a big of arrogance and snobbish behavior splashed in there so it can be hard to not say something right back at them to put them in their place.
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