Originally Posted by *Beth*

Excuse me? I'm not clear as to what your post means.

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

How is it possible that a person may have the power to ruin your day here or wherever else? Does it make sense?

I think I know what Beth means, sometimes someone can get so attached to a website that anyone being cruel to them on that website can negatively affect their mental health

I've had it happen where (on a suicide prevention forum) the main admin there said something seriously cruel to me, which I don't want to repeat cause it could easily trigger others, and it could set me off again :/

[AzulOscuro]

I do understand it. Anyone can hurt you if you let them. I think a good support in these kind of online places is the opportunity to learn and evolve as a person. Sharing experiences, interacting and learning to interact in an assertive way. You can see your reactions towards others’ comments.

Being a person with mental issues doesn’t make of yourself a person with a thin skin.

I do think that one of the main problems with this site is that. Users are overprotected.
I know several users who don’t come here because they have seen their posts deleted or cut off without a logic reason.
It’s very hard to express yourself when you have to be so correct politically. I think education when communicating is more than enough.
People in general, and even more online, have an extremely thin skin.

I try to be as much as possible far from any activity on my phone. More than anything, I use it to check routes to places I want to visit and to listen to podcast.
I’m very aware that the internet must be on my service and not conversely. I prior the activities I do when I am disconnected.

Said that, the net gave me a lot of knowledge and support (in the large sense of the word). Friends and the partner of my life. 😀

[*Beth*]

You've explained the situation very well, @willowtigger. Thank you for that.

@AzulOscuro, did you read what I posted after the post of mine that you quoted? My extremely traumatic experience was in a Facebook crafting group, not on this forum. The problem occurred on Facebook.

I do have a "thin skin." I am a very sensitive person and I'm also a very empathetic person - which was a good part of the reason why those 2 women on Facebook tormented me the way they did. I often let people go too far and don't set healthy boundaries for myself until I have been abused.

As for members being protected here on this forum - in most cases I find that mods have a valid reason for letting a member know that something they've posted either needs to be corrected (for example, a trigger warning) or has been removed because it was potentially hurtful to the community here. I don't think the term "politically correct" applies, really...it's more "emotionally correct."

When a post is edited or removed, as far as I know the member is always informed about it by a mod, who sends the member a private message explaining the situation.

Originally Posted by *Beth*

You've explained the situation very well, @willowtigger. Thank you for that.

@AzulOscuro, did you read what I posted after the post of mine that you quoted? My extremely traumatic experience was in a Facebook crafting group, not on this forum. The problem occurred on Facebook.

I do have a "thin skin." I am a very sensitive person and I'm also a very empathetic person - which was a good part of the reason why those 2 women on Facebook tormented me the way they did. I often let people go too far and don't set healthy boundaries for myself until I have been abused.

As for members being protected here on this forum - in most cases I find that mods have a valid reason for letting a member know that something they've posted either needs to be corrected (for example, a trigger warning) or has been removed because it was potentially hurtful to the community here. I don't think the term "politically correct" applies, really...it's more "emotionally correct."

When a post is edited or removed, as far as I know the member is always informed about it by a mod, who sends the member a private message explaining the situation.

Occasionally, a message doesnt get sent cause they get busy with a something else, so there are times when a message doesnt get sent due to them having to juggle too many balls on the forum and one could get dropped

or at least, thats what i understand anyways

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

Occasionally, a message doesnt get sent cause they get busy with a something else, so there are times when a message doesnt get sent due to them having to juggle too many balls on the forum and one could get dropped
or at least, thats what i understand anyways

That's not good

Originally Posted by *Beth*

That's not good

Every forum has the same problem, things get missed cause something else kicks off

If you don't receive a message and notice a post got changed or removed, I'm guessing it's okay to ask in pm if you are not sure what was wrong

I know on the sadly closed forum, they was happy to get "why was my post removed/changed" messages cause if we didn't ask we never knew what we needed to stop doing

Other forums, however, have screamers where it ou ask anything they scream at you and throw you on the bad list, particularly when you upset admins pet member .....

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

I think I know what Beth means, sometimes someone can get so attached to a website that anyone being cruel to them on that website can negatively affect their mental health

I've had it happen where (on a suicide prevention forum) the main admin there said something seriously cruel to me, which I don't want to repeat cause it could easily trigger others, and it could set me off again :/

You did explain it well, Willow. I agree with Beth. And thank you for your kudos to me in that forum.

Personally I have to pace myself on here. I have to be in the right mood, even though MOST of the time it's supportive and validating. Since I don't have real life people, it's online or nothing. Still, I monitor how often I come on here and how much time I spend on it, what thread to post in, etc.

I don't go to any other forums so don't have anything to compare it to. And since I've found some nice people on here, if it ain't broke don't fix it. So I come here and no where else.

I've viewed posts on other forums but never posted myself or even registered (which you have to do, usually) I've seen some nasty crap, and I think the anonymity of being online has people saying things they wouldn't face to face.l Or even on the phone. I don't write anything I wouldn't say outloud! To the person's face or on the phone.

I might have said this already in this thread, but I stopped going to a site due to trolls. It's not a mental health site but one where you post comments/experiences about an unknown number that keeps calling you or a message a robocaller left. It's for information. But I stopped going due to my posts being deleted or ridiculed. I suspect the "moderators" and the trolls are the same people. I miss that site, but I don't need to be on the receiving end of meanness.

With all the gun violence, hate crimes, and just plain rudeness in this country, the last thing I need is more hate or rudeness.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I do understand it. Anyone can hurt you if you let them.

This implies that we know in advance what people will say/do, either online or in real life. I don't think anyone wants to "let" people hurt them but how do you know what people are really like, their true colors?

It's when you confide in them or you're vulnerable you find out. And all we can do is try to heal the best we can and watch out for those "red flags" in the future.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

You've explained the situation very well, @willowtigger. Thank you for that.

@AzulOscuro, did you read what I posted after the post of mine that you quoted? My extremely traumatic experience was in a Facebook crafting group, not on this forum. The problem occurred on Facebook.

I do have a "thin skin." I am a very sensitive person and I'm also a very empathetic person - which was a good part of the reason why those 2 women on Facebook tormented me the way they did. I often let people go too far and don't set healthy boundaries for myself until I have been abused.

As for members being protected here on this forum - in most cases I find that mods have a valid reason for letting a member know that something they've posted either needs to be corrected (for example, a trigger warning) or has been removed because it was potentially hurtful to the community here. I don't think the term "politically correct" applies, really...it's more "emotionally correct."

When a post is edited or removed, as far as I know the member is always informed about it by a mod, who sends the member a private message explaining the situation.

I hear you, Beth. I'm also a sensitive and emphatic person. Heck, I even cringe when I read someone's mean comments to another member....anywhere online. Or in the real world.

Yesterday at the doctor's office I witnessed a man telling another man, very meanly, that he was trying to get by and why won't he move and why the ignoring of him. After he left I said to the guy that was chewed out that I'm sorry that happened to him.

I also have a "thin skin" and think for that reason I don't belong online at all. But if there's no real life option, then there's online worlds. It's a primal need for humans to connect, one way or another.

"Emotionally correct", that's a good phrase.

Yeah as far as I know, if posts are edited or removed, a moderator will PM the member.

I learned to be scared of messages from any forum staff, cause on a different forum, I did be on the recieving end of a screamer admin, so when I get a message from a forum staff it sends my anxiety rocket high in case it's a screamy message calling me a terrible person and really tearing into me, even for small mistakes

One example from a chat room: the main admin there laying into me for not being able to touch type so i missed something one of his moderators said, due to not looking at the screen at the exact second the moderator said something, so i typed something and sent it, then looked at the screen, then got screamed at by the admin in the chat room and banned from that chat, that chat is gone from the internets (not surprisised about that) I think they banned so many people from there they ended up with nobody on there any more ......... (i do know someone else they banned - he mentioned the existance of other forums, and got a ban for that)

banhappy old farts .......

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

I learned to be scared of messages from any forum staff, cause on a different forum, I did be on the recieving end of a screamer admin, so when I get a message from a forum staff it sends my anxiety rocket high in case it's a screamy message calling me a terrible person and really tearing into me, even for small mistakes

One example from a chat room: the main admin there laying into me for not being able to touch type so i missed something one of his moderators said, due to not looking at the screen at the exact second the moderator said something, so i typed something and sent it, then looked at the screen, then got screamed at by the admin in the chat room and banned from that chat, that chat is gone from the internets (not surprisised about that) I think they banned so many people from there they ended up with nobody on there any more .........

All the more reason I tread carefully, as even mods or admin can be mean. And we depend on them to keep things going as well as they could.....

Originally Posted by nonightowl

All the more reason I tread carefully, as even mods or admin can be mean. And we depend on them to keep things going as well as they could.....

The time i have a problem with moderators or admin is when they decide to act like a bunch of powertripping banhappy old farts

i mean even when i get a message anywhere, saying something like "we moved your post from X to Y" even something like that *can* (depending on how they tell me about the hyperthectical action) send my anxiety fairly high

Something I struggle with, is I can't take in a lot of information all at the same time, so if I get a message with a huge amount of information in it, I could end up (without meaning to) going against some of the information in the message, simply due to not taking that information in

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by willowtigger

The time i have a problem with moderators or admin is when they decide to act like a bunch of powertripping banhappy old farts

i mean even when i get a message anywhere, saying something like "we moved your post from X to Y" even something like that *can* (depending on how they tell me about the hyperthectical action) send my anxiety fairly high

Something I struggle with, is I can't take in a lot of information all at the same time, so if I get a message with a huge amount of information in it, I could end up (without meaning to) going against some of the information in the message, simply due to not taking that information in

I get overwhelmed by too much information too. If that happens, some of it just goes right past me. OR if someone talks too fast. I often ask people to repeat please what they said.

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I get overwhelmed by too much information too. If that happens, some of it just goes right past me. OR if someone talks too fast. I often ask people to repeat please what they said.

Learning difficulties are what makes information overload too easy to do to my one braincell

[Anonymous37919]

They can be incredibly annoying and pointless, but not always. It really depends on the users you engage with.

Basically, if you post rumours about a game that's possibly in development and you say they are just rumours, they should know it's only rumours. It's speculation.

Then some of the respondents are being like, "OMG. You shut up. Why are you falling for this rubbish? Why are you gonna egg your own face?"

Damn. Like, calm down. For crying out loud, it's just a post a guy made to maintain a level of gaming talk during a quiet spell for proper news. My goodness.



But yeah. I don't know why I still use these gaming message boards to vent about things. And they say boredom is a sin, huh?