[LiteraryLark]

I really want to have a child. Since my early teens, I've dreamt about pregnancy, and for the past few years I've been going through serious bouts of baby fever with interests in adoption, too. I know it would be better if I were to have a partner to raise a child with, but I also believe that if I can afford it, I could do it on my own.

But before I do that, I am really curious to know the best reasons to want to raise a child.

I've got things to say about this, but I want to hear some responses first.

What do you think is a good reason to want to raise a child?

[Soupe du jour]

I think most humans instinctively want to live on beyond their own lives, whether it be genes and/or influence. We also yearn for as much familial love as possible, and possibly support in old age, though the latter is less guaranteed in this day and age. Many women's maternal instincts are strong and compel them to want "to mother".

The above is not me supporting why we SHOULD have children as much as explain the strong desire to. I never had children, and never will, and I have my own reasons. I also have no regrets. Despite, I do yearn for a pet again, which helps satisfy some of the instinctive needs. I've been holding off on adopting a new one because the time hasn't been right, given recent moves, etc.

Though I never dreamed much of being a mother to a human, I'm sure that if motherhood had happened to me (in reasonable circumstances), I would have deeply loved it/them. Both my husband and I were blessed to have had wonderful loving mothers who still contribute positively to our lives, even after death. Of course neither were perfect, but no one in the world is. Nor are other factors in life.

[MuseumGhost]

That was a very well-worded reply, Soupe!

My first instinct is to say that one must REALLY love children before you ever consider bringing one into the world. You never know what their personality will be like, so it's best to have a very open attitude with few preconceived ideas about exactly who that child will be. Every child should be welcomed and made to feel loved, always.

The next obvious consideration is finances, of course. Children are expensive. And life doesn't appear to be getting any less expensive, right now. I would do some research and figure out what your own goals are, professionally and financially, before you make such a momentous decision.

I've known too many women who had children for all the wrong reasons. I could write volumes about that. Try very hard to avoid this pitfall.

Please take lots of time and advise from older/ wiser people who have been good parents of long standing, before you leap into the biggest commitment you will ever make. It wouldn't hurt to make a pro- and con-comparison page for yourself, so you can list your expectations and hopes right out there and know your own motivations inside and out.

[Discombobulated]

Bit embarrassed to admit this after reading others well thought out responses but for me I became a parent fairly young and it was mainly because I loved my partner, it felt like the natural thing. I did love spending time with young relatives beforehand too and I felt broody!

However 25 years on and I can honestly say I don’t regret a single thing, I’ve learned so much from being a parent and my son and my relationship with him has taught me so much. Still in love with his father too, and seeing him as a dad made me love him more.

Got to be honest, personally I feel I would’ve struggled as a single parent, parenting is very demanding, but everyone is different and there are other ways people can build support networks.

[Mountaindewed]

I never wanted kids. I always said that. I do not like them either. I did not hesistate at all signing off that I was aware I could never have kids after I had my surgery. I knew I wouldn't be a good parent and that I was not capable and I didn't have the finances plus there just was not a desire to have them. My mom has 2 grand kids and another grand kid on the way from my sister. I have my cats. We're good.

[Have Hope]

I can tell you what the worst reason is for having a child. I have a friend who wanted kids very badly but didn't start trying until her late 30's. She and her husband tried for four years to have a child through different means and it never worked out. I asked her why she wanted kids so badly and her reason was so that someone would take care of her in her old age! Can you believe that???? That was her primary reason.

I think reasons to have kids are because you're ready and able to devote 100% of yourself to your children's development and growth -that you want to be there for your children, supporting them and helping them to develop into grown adults. That you want to share your wisdom and experience... and be there for every important milestone, achievement and failure. The point of having kids is to share your love and devotion, & to give them all of yourself. Children must be a #1 priority in a parent's life - and that parent has to be 100% ready and willing to do that.

[eskielover]

From personal experience. I wanted my career but got pregnant a few years after I got married. My parents helped take care of my daughter so I could have my career too. I can't imagine having a child as a single parent. It was hard enough handling it with the husband & my parents helping out.

I swore having a child wasn't going to change my life style. It didn't.....more fun but also more work. She was out backpacking with us at 6 months old into the back country Sierra's out of Bishop. She was also skiing with us from the time she was 2 1/2. It was fun to watch her learn young the things I learned to do as an adult. I made sure I was at her high school basket ball games & I was the one who always handled issues that came up at school & had to resolve them. Having kids is so much more than just having them. If single, you have to be everything to everybody at that point even with outside help because you are the parent. It is hard work to raise kids & not sure there is really a best reason why to do it. I am glad I did but there was no good reason I did it for

[LiteraryLark]

I want to give my child the life I never had. I want to give my child a happy childhood with a parent who is always there for him or her physically and emotionally. I want to give my child a sense of normalcy with a parent who works in a normal job and do normal things, have normal conversations, be my child's best friend and confidant who welcomes him or her with open arms. I'd love to have a girl I can do girly things with at a young age.

[Travelinglady]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I want to give my child the life I never had. I want to give my child a happy childhood with a parent who is always there for him or her physically and emotionally. I want to give my child a sense of normalcy with a parent who works in a normal job and do normal things, have normal conversations, be my child's best friend and confidant who welcomes him or her with open arms. I'd love to have a girl I can do girly things with at a young age.

I was sort of like you, LL. I think a child deserves a parent who is there for them, though, so I only worked part-time after my first child was born. But keep in mind that they are a lot of work. They shouldn't be foisted off to other people all the time and need lots of attention. I gave my two sons lots of experiences that I never had as a child such as travel to places of interest, trips to historic places, and trips to places for entertainment, going to movies, etc. I wasn't a perfect mother, but have been blessed that my two sons are resilient.

[Aviza]

I regret not having more children in all honesty. I think they are students, teachers, companions, friends ( sort of) as in they are there for you as you age. First your there for them than they're there for you. I just love my daughter so much and she's not perfect but she's awesome.