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MuseumGhost
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#41
My relationship with big holidays has changed, depending on how well I'm doing. I do much better, as I'm feeling better.
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lizardlady
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nonightowl, rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
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#42
Yep exactly and it's quite annoying. The only exception is if you work at an elementary school like me. In that case I can understand putting on an act around the kids. Other than that we shouldn't have to force happy and bubbly interactions with coworkers we may or may not like or even know very well.
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nonightowl
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rdgrad15
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#43
I'm glad you're doing bette and I can see how your view on big holidays can change with your mood. Generally people who aren't as happy aren't going to like the holidays as much. It's hard being unhappy and being around many bubbly and overly happy people and it may even seem a big cringy too. In fact a lot of the bubbly happiness is forced and those who are depressed just don't have the energy to put on a forced act.
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MuseumGhost
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MuseumGhost
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Grand Magnate
MuseumGhost
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#44
Exactly, rdgrad. It was a very difficult thing to try and "feel" as joyous and celebratory as everyone around me when I was very ill. Making the effort was almost painful.
I've done a lot of reading and self-therapy surrounding my particular diagnoses, and I understand much better where the gradual dislike and discomfort around holidays & birthdays came from. I subsequently have a great deal of compassion and patience for anyone who feels the same way I did when I was in the worst grips of my illnesses. There are traces of these pains remaining. They bubble up a bit mostly around thoughts of absent loved ones. But that's grief, and it's to be expected. I still have short bouts of anxiety before every occasion, but I think that will just be me and my worry that people might unexpectedly drop by---and my home is almost never in the condition I wish it was in! Generally speaking, I enjoy almost all holidays again, thankfully---as I used to when younger. |
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lizardlady
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#45
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Christmas used to be my most and least favorite holiday. Most because I got into decorating, baking, etc. Least because of the stress. The forced happiness. The media harping about the great, close, happy families. A friend of mine and I used to define a "good" holiday as one where no one got in a fight. Now holidays are just lonely. Agree 1000% with those who hate July 4th. I enjoy watching the fireworks, but hate the rest of it. My poor dog HATES loud noises. He is a basketball on the 4th. My neighbor's shoot guns and fireworks most of the night. Last 4th they were were at it until 4AM! |
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MuseumGhost
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nonightowl, rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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#46
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That seems to be very common during the holidays and it really shows especially when you get older. I will say though that I still allow others to enjoy the holidays and I don't ruin the fun for others. I don't particularly care about the holidays but I'm not one of those people you see from time to time who get verbally combative towards anyone who is happy and loves the holidays since there's nothing good about ruining the fun for others so I keep my feelings to myself when I'm at gatherings during any holiday and even birthdays. |
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MuseumGhost, nonightowl
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MuseumGhost, nonightowl
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#47
Quote:
Also the forced happiness and commercialism as well as unnecessary stress and witnessing arguments are what made me dislike the holidays and that goes for other holidays as well. I agree they are just lonely now and it really shows among others and it becomes extremely obvious that the happiness is forced when the holidays end and people fully admit to being so glad it's all over and genuinely seem happier and calmer when January rolls around. |
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nonightowl
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lizardlady, MuseumGhost, nonightowl
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Grand Magnate
MuseumGhost
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#48
I try really hard to keep all the old traditions going, especially around that king of all the holidays, Christmas. But money has been tight for so long, it's been a real challenge---on top of losing so many beloved relatives.
I would have to say, Thanksgiving is still at the top of my favorites list, however. The rest don't signify as much for me anymore. My husband is a nice man but he is a bit clueless about celebrating without being almost completely inebriated throughout. He can't ever let his hair down, or be warm, enthusiastic, or romantic, without a lot of beer in him. And that is a huge turnoff. I think that's part of what I deal with, as well. He's also clueless about birthdays. I was never really into big birthday parties and stuff, but now they've almost completely fallen by the wayside. So, that takes an awful lot of the fun out of just about every celebration. If you can't do it sober and completely conscious, with other people's enjoyment taking priority, then why bother? And I'm tired of being the only one who really does all the cheerleading, and all the actual labor involved. |
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lizardlady, Nammu
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nonightowl, rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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Member Since: Apr 2016
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#49
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MuseumGhost, nonightowl
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MuseumGhost, nonightowl
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nonightowl
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#50
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I was thinking about how when I was a kid, how upset it made me when we "couldn't afford" a Christmas tree anymore at one point. My parents were always penny pinching and one year they said it's just too costly. They said it's a waste of money to spend it on something we throw out on New Year's. At the time, it was important and I thought isn't that what we're supposed to do??? Okay now I get it. But I'm 61 now. Big difference from 11, LOL. At first, people are happy in January.....until the bills come. People certainly drive faster and are so impatient now, more than the rest of the year. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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rdgrad15
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nonightowl
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#51
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I still get the message from our media that there's an obligation to be "celebrating" with people from Thanksgiving until New Year's. If it wasn't crammed into 2 months, it'd be more bearable to me. They come all at once. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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Member Since: Apr 2016
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#52
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nonightowl
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nonightowl
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
mental attitude! :)
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#53
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nonightowl
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Desert Kitty hates titles
nonightowl
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#54
Quote:
They used to re-use gift wrap and tags, if in good shape still. Quote:
Sometimes people would ask me if I'm doing anything for Halloween, but usually they don't. There's a "Sounds of the Seasons" channel I have on my TV package, that play Oktoberfest music in October, the first half. Then Halloween music. As soon as November 1st comes, it's non-stop Christmas music. Even though I actually like some of the songs, the association of other things is too much. You're right that Christmas as the birthday of Jesus isn't even accurate. I'm not even religious, so it's not so important to me as what day they pick...yet spreading it out is something I can support for sure. Everything all at once, I don't know if other countries have bills and tax season starting in January, but after all that spending it's time to pay up. NOW there's the screaming and yelling commercials for the holidays, which I find unbearable. It's bad enough the rest of the year, when the volume on any commercial automatically increases. Then you have to turn it down OR OFF. I've been turning it off or I change the station, as soon as it comes on. It makes me NOT want to pay attention, yelling like that. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." Last edited by nonightowl; Nov 23, 2022 at 02:30 PM.. |
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rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#55
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nonightowl
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nonightowl
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nonightowl
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#56
I was just at the gym and looked around at all the people, mostly in their 20's and 30's. I wondered if THEY have family gatherings planned tomorrow, and if so, are they looking forward to it or is it a chore....
Many years ago I remember how a co-worker said he was just going to order a pizza and watch football with a buddy or two. A lot of us thought that was sad and we told him we felt bad for him. In hindsight, maybe that's what he wanted. Maybe he was estranged from family or whatnot. They could be too far away to travel to, maybe it's too costly or the weather is bad or something. So many possibilities. I'm not going to the gym tomorrow. It would be great to blow off steam but they are only open a half day. I used to go years ago, but I stopped because it's just too crowded and packed. I either wait for a machine awhile or I don't get on it at all.. They are open 364 days a year; Christmas is the only day they close. I forgot to say that August is my favorite month, because there's no holidays. Every other month has one, whether a legal one or not. So I wouldn't want Christmas to be moved to August. It's the only breather I get. Sept has Labor Day, so there would be two holidays if they moved Christmas. Since I'm not a night person I'm signing off now. I just had to post that while it was on my mind, before I forget! __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
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#57
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nonightowl
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nonightowl
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#58
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As for TODAY, I WAS looking forward to at least a day of QUIET, but no.....They HAVE to work today too, d a m n construction guys remodeling the freaking vacant unit above me. I've been suffering since October 31st, and they work Saturdays too. They are in such a hurry to rent it that they make them work on a holiday?!!! Sunday is the only day i get off from it so far. And I thought "Ah...." when I woke up. If this building wasn't so cheaply built, I wouldn't hear/feel all the NOISE. It's just ONE day of lost income. I hate landlords and hate this place but don't know where to go. My day is now ruined, thanks to the heartless, greedy landlord. Back to this holiday......I don't know if they still do this but some retailers started opening for "Black Friday" today, usually at 7 or 8pm. After people feed their faces, they want them to empty their wallets. I think that's so screwy---opening their doors a day early. Talk about superficial and shallow! Yeah, it is one day but since most businesses (except retail and restaurants) are open tomorrow, it's like a 2 day holiday. Even my library is closed Friday, which means I probably won't get my book by Saturday. If not for today and Friday being closed, it'd arrive I'm sure. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive
mental attitude! :)
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#59
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nonightowl
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nonightowl
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Desert Kitty hates titles
nonightowl
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#60
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True, we preach thankfulness then are pressured to buy stuff, since it's on SALE! Gosh, I'm old enough to remember when stores were either closed on Sundays or open half-days. And that's any time of the year. Sundays were just mellow, quiet days. Some places even closed early on Saturday. Now it's 24/7 and I think it's greed. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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rdgrad15
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