I'm really embarrassed because...

LiteraryLark · Nov 21, 2022 at 12:23 AM

I turn 30 next month and 9/10 times the cashiers at the grocery store and the liquor store make the biggest production out of checking my ID when I buy alcohol. It's so embarrassing. Last year I had my ID rejected twice--they flat out refused to sell me alcohol because I didn't look older than 21.

It's so embarrassing!!!

Just yesterday I went to the liquor store and as I was getting the royal ID inspection, three girls behind me were the same age as me were babbling about getting wasted on tequila and vodka, and I watched as I was leaving that they didn't even get a second glance about their ID. It's so humiliating.

I don't find it at all reassuring that I look young, not when people treat me like a child, or in this case, being 30 years old and being treated like a minor. It's so insulting.

LiteraryLark · Nov 21, 2022 at 12:38 AM

I'm frustrated I do not look like other 30 year olds but at the same time I'm also frustrated that I am so unique and prefer not to look like other 30 year olds: I have a flaming red pixie cut, I have NO IDEA how to do makeup at all, I find yoga pants to be too revealing, and I'm not into wearing Columbia, Eddie Bauer, and plaid which is what everyone in Oregon wears. I'd just like to be treated like a 30 year old, not be questioned as to whether or not I'm a minor.

Lokebee · Nov 21, 2022 at 09:31 AM

I used to always look young for my age. But now I’m starting to look older. My hair is starting to gray a bit. Don’t like it at all. I’m 46. I figure without my gray hairs I would look younger. Idk. Count your blessings

MuddyBoots · Nov 21, 2022 at 09:52 AM

In my state if you look under 40 years old they have to check your ID. I wouldn't worry about anyone else. I had a friend 24 years old get accused of having A fake ID and the police came and just said "give the girl her damn beer." It happens. I get it that you're 6 years older, but it's just their job and they don't get paid much (at least not here) so whaddaya expect

Breaking Dawn · Nov 21, 2022 at 10:18 AM

Well, Happy pretty soon Birthday, @LiteraryLark!

I hope the world will finally treat you like an adult. Maybe you can find a sweatshirt that says something about not being a minor. Or get a plain one & write on it yourself in pretty colors with fabric markers?

unaluna · Nov 21, 2022 at 11:46 AM

muddyboots. Exactly!

Discombobulated · Nov 21, 2022 at 12:11 PM

Hands up, I have ID’d a lady who was 40 before, now that’s embarrassing. She was Asian and had beautiful skin - we do Challenge 25 in our store and she looked 20s to me. She was so lovely about it though and luckily had her driver’s license with her.

Over here if you serve someone under age you can lose your job, get interviewed by police, charged even. So it’s a big deal, it makes some of us a little nervous around alcohol approvals. I’ve certainly ID’d plenty of late 20s/30 yr olds.

Odds are you have nice skin, I’m looking for wrinkles when I serve people. The fact you don’t wear make up probably makes you look younger, especially if you have nice skin.

Mountaindewed · 12:54 PM

I'll be 30 in February and my therapist told me I look like a teenager. It doesn't help that I have the body shape of one or that the only clothes that fit me are brands meant for teenagers. I haven't had any issues though. Some people think I'm my moms grandson when we go out though. Or I'll be at doctors appointments and people will ask where my mom is.

I know of someone who is 18 who looks 40. So the opposite happens too.

Travelinglady · Nov 21, 2022 at 01:48 PM

I'm 67 and am told I look younger. However, young people know I am old. Even though I'm the size of a 12 year old, I have gray hair and lots of people open the door for me. Children were sometimes puzzled by me when I was younger, but well into adulthood.

I never had to show my license to get liquor because I don't drink, but I'm sure it would be frustrating for people not to believe you're old enough to get it. But you're likely to appreciate looking older when you get into middle age, LL!

Maybe you can try a gray-haired wig!

MuseumGhost · Nov 21, 2022 at 04:28 PM

I understand your feelings of embarrassment, but someday you might very well count it as a blessing, being asked for I.D..

I was 38 and buying a craft beer for my new boyfriend. I was asked for I.D., and I was thrilled! And the woman in line behind me gave me a thumbs up, and a cheeky smile! And I had a funny little tale to tell when I arrived at his place.

May you be blessed with youthful good looks for a very long time, LL.

LiteraryLark · Nov 21, 2022 at 04:47 PM

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I've been suffering from major daily panic attacks and this was one little thing that turned out to be very upsetting to me. I am working on self care and yes I should be grateful to look so young and I'm sure when I'm older I'll appreciate it.

NicholasFlammel · Nov 21, 2022 at 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I'm frustrated I do not look like other 30 year olds but at the same time I'm also frustrated that I am so unique and prefer not to look like other 30 year olds: I have a flaming red pixie cut, I have NO IDEA how to do makeup at all, I find yoga pants to be too revealing, and I'm not into wearing Columbia, Eddie Bauer, and plaid which is what everyone in Oregon wears. I'd just like to be treated like a 30 year old, not be questioned as to whether or not I'm a minor.

You can wear whatever you want to wear and wear it proudly. If stores want to reject you, accept it and take your business somewhere else.

Some People can have trouble with the fact that you look so young and don't know what to do with it which, may be frustrating at times, but try not to let it upset you. If anything, say thank you and move along if you feel uneasy. It's easier than you may think and it feels much better than getting yourself upset.

Angry Fairy · Nov 30, 2022 at 09:54 AM

I don't know if it makes you feel better but you aren't alone. I was refused entry to a R rated movie when I was 21, I've had a census person ask me if my parents were home (I was in my 30's) and I've been carded at a restaurant with my parents when I was in my late 30's. Right now, "adulthood" still feels so new that it's bothering you. As you get older though, I think you'll come to appreciate it. Even now I have people refusing to believe I am as old as I say. And YES I know that doesn't help. People told me that all the time and I felt like "yeah right". So I get it.

Mendingmysoul · Nov 30, 2022 at 10:23 PM

A young woman I know gets asked if she is in high school a lot of times.She is doing her master's. My nephew's friends asked him if I was his cousin. These things happen.

NicholasFlammel · Dec 04, 2022 at 05:17 PM

I just turned 33, can't get a job now that I've moved to the middle of nowhere (I live with my mom so wherever she goes I go sadly) and have no transportation. I want a relationship and I want kids, but I'm not starting something in my situation which is what makes it worse. I know I'm a good person, but that's about all I have to offer the world.

Gasplessy · Dec 08, 2022 at 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I turn 30 next month and 9/10 times the cashiers at the grocery store and the liquor store make the biggest production out of checking my ID when I buy alcohol. It's so embarrassing. Last year I had my ID rejected twice--they flat out refused to sell me alcohol because I didn't look older than 21.

It's so embarrassing!!!

Just yesterday I went to the liquor store and as I was getting the royal ID inspection, three girls behind me were the same age as me were babbling about getting wasted on tequila and vodka, and I watched as I was leaving that they didn't even get a second glance about their ID. It's so humiliating.

I don't find it at all reassuring that I look young, not when people treat me like a child, or in this case, being 30 years old and being treated like a minor. It's so insulting.

I use to have the same issue
For my case I would say that behind feeling humiliated there was something else
Cause if I was in a good balance, i would probably smile about that
But it is just my experience

To answer your question
Unfortunately i have other things to be ashamed of, but it is chaotic
I miss the time when i could answer this question with a list

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Lokebee Member Member Since Nov 2022 Location: West Virginia Posts: 46 1 30 hugs given	Nov 21, 2022 at 09:31 AM #3 I used to always look young for my age. But now I’m starting to look older. My hair is starting to gray a bit. Don’t like it at all. I’m 46. I figure without my gray hairs I would look younger. Idk. Count your blessings
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,835 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Nov 21, 2022 at 11:46 AM #6 muddyboots. Exactly!
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!) 14 1,318 hugs given	Nov 21, 2022 at 04:47 PM #11 Thank you to everyone who has responded. I've been suffering from major daily panic attacks and this was one little thing that turned out to be very upsetting to me. I am working on self care and yes I should be grateful to look so young and I'm sure when I'm older I'll appreciate it.
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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Nov 30, 2022 at 10:23 PM #14 A young woman I know gets asked if she is in high school a lot of times.She is doing her master's. My nephew's friends asked him if I was his cousin. These things happen.
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