What Would You Have Done?

Some background...... I have a very good relationship with my neighbor. Every winter he and his wife go to Florida and I look after his house. He gave me a key so I can periodically check on his house to make sure there are no strange things going on or water in the basement, get packages delivered to his porch, etc. I shovel his driveway and park there as it frees up my driveway and it makes it look like someone is home at his house. He is always grateful and I am way happy to help him out (he's an older gentleman).

Today I came home and his "old" snow blower was in my driveway. When I say "old", we're talking MAYBE five-years-old. Still looks new. I went across the street to ask him about it. His two grandsons were there doing yard work and they told me they wheeled it into my driveway because my neighbor wanted me to have it. I was touched but told them I very much appreciate it but I'll never use it. I actually like shoveling snow and getting the exercise that comes with it and not smelling like exhaust or having another piece of equipment to maintain. Plus I don't have a lot of room in the garage.

Finally my neighbor came home and it appears his grandsons told him I declined it. He almost seemed upset that I didn't take it but I told him my reasons and that while it was an extremely sweet offer, I just didn't want it. His wife (always the voice of reason) was in the truck with him and she told him, "He simply doesn't want it." Then he gruffed a little then pulled into his driveway.

Again, he is a GREAT man and a GREAT neighbor but I just felt pressured accepting something I simply didn't want but I hope I didn't offend him. Even his wife has told me he's a grouch sometimes and we laughed but deep down he's all heart.

So, you're in my shoes. Would you have graciously accepted it or politely declined it? I feel a little bad.

I would have probably taken it and then donated it.

The problem with that is he comes over all the time and goes into my garage. He'd figure out I didn't have it any longer. I just wanted to be transparent from the jump I suppose.

I would take it.

I’d take it if it was something small like let’s say a vacuum. Even if I didn’t need it, I could shove in a corner of my basement. But a snow blower is huge. Takes ton of space. Id not have space for it. So no I’d not take it. Id politely explain that I have no space in my garage for it. Bottom line, I’d do exactly what you did. I understand feeling bad. But you aren’t being rude or unreasonable.

Thanks.

If I REALLY wanted it I could make space for it. But actually the biggest drawback for me is that it's gas-powered. I have used gas-powered snow blowers before and when I'm done I smell like exhaust.

I'm just a simple guy and prefer a shovel. They don't stink, there's zero maintenance, and if I break or need a new one, I simply go out and spend $40 or less to replace it.

It's a good problem to have and I recognize my blessings. The timing just wasn't right.

If you're needing to RT, next time you two speak it's ok to just bring it up and thank him again. Mention again that you appreciate the exercise in shoveling and that's the reason. I had a similar thing happen. I take care of the two driveways/walks here and my new landlord brought over a snowblower for me to use. For years here I've been using a push-plough and shovels. It's exercise + I love doing it.

Anyway he sort of paused when i told him I liked the activity of shoveling. I actually made the joke about it being sort of a zen thing which for me is pretty much the truth. I find it a peaceful activity...even in blizzards. He's a farm-raised guy and efficiency is his mantra but he's a good egg. I could see a question mark float briefly over his head but he was ok with me doing my thing. I do wish he'd bring over a better lawnmower though.

I like the idea of framing it around the exercise you get shovelling, plus you could always mention that you’d like it to go to someone who would appreciate it (maybe someone less able) and reiterate what a great bit of equipment it is (he may have wrongly read your refusal as indicating it wasn’t good enough for you or some such thing).

Agreed. Perfect approach right there D.

Good point.

What a lot of people find to be a nuisance (shoveling snow, cutting grass, washing cars), I find to be rather therapeutic.

Also, RT?

Revenge Tour, I think I would've waiting until the neighbor came home and delivered the snow blower directly to him, not the grandsons. That way you could explain to him, at the same time that you brought it back, about enjoying getting your exercise. Heaven knows what the grandson said about why you brought it back. Not saying the grandson said anything bad, but he might not have been diplomatic about it

Actually his grandsons were thrilled I didn't take it because they said they were going to sell it. It doesn't matter to me.

But, yea, I thought it was a very kind gesture. He knows how I operate, though.

Yea. I can kind of see that but I think it should have been a pretty straight-forward transaction. Who knows? I guess I just wanted it out of my driveway ASAP.

I'd pretty much do what you did, say thank you, but you enjoy the exercise shoveling snow gives you.

I wouldn't accept it if I wasn't going to use it or just sell/donate it, as then the snowblower becomes your problem to deal with. And the neighbor might also be annoyed you didn't keep it.

There's no "right" answer to this conundrum, as it appears the neighbor never considered that his "gift" might not be accepted.... That's more of his issue and not something you should feel obligated about.

Revenge Tour RT I abbreviate sometimes when I type. By the way your post got lots of great thoughts. Was even a help to me in seeing what angles I missed. Discussion like this is a pretty neat process.

Man! I feel like a dummy. I was wrangling with this and coming up with Real Therapy and Really Think.

But, yea, good discussion. Thanks.

Thanks too and yep these talking things out with diff people sure is a decent way to see diff. angles. *thumbs up*