I hate the holidays :(

Anyone else a grinch like me? I absolutely hate the holidays.

I don't look forward to large extended family gatherings, outings with family friends, and all the hubla.

I have been in the psych hospital the past 2 years late November-early December. Early December is the anniversary of a very disturbing sexual assualt that occured. Then, I'm stressed about having an extended early Thanksgiving with my family this weekend, spending actual Thanksgiving day with family friends, my daughter's birthday, a birthday party for her, Christmas with my extended family early, going to see lights with family friends, actual Christmas day, ugh.

I haven't bought any presents, have not clue what to buy. I hate buying presents, I hate wrapping presents. I hate cooking/baking, I hate decorating, even putting up the Christmas tree. I hate all of it.

Am I just a complete grinch?!

I can’t begin to imagine the trauma you have been through. You most certainly are not being a Grinch, @Blueberrybook. Your apprehension and fear of the forthcoming holidays are completely understandable.

I have dreaded the holidays and this time of year for as long as I can remember. I used to get such grief when my parents were still alive for not wanting to attend big family gatherings. I just couldn’t bear them. The social aspect was crippling for me, and I never knew how to communicate that effectively to them. With the remaining family I have left, I’ve taken the time to explain why I find big family gatherings and the holiday times difficult, and that it’s not because I don’t love or care for them, it’s just that I can’t cope, and need lots of space. They have actually taken that really well, and the simple fact that they’ve accepted it and understood it has made the holidays so much better.

Now we compromise. I break things down into smaller groups of them, and arrange to meet before and after the holidays, and leave the actual holidays to be at home relaxing and doing the things I want to do. I just wish I’d had the strength to tell them this many years ago.

Don’t feel guilty for dealing with Christmas how you want to deal with it. We are manipulated far too much by big business and the media who want to make us feel guilty if we’re not fully embracing Christmas and (more importantly) spending money on their food and products.

Take care of you.

I kinda relate. Every trauma & bad thing that has happened in my life (71 years) has happened at this time of year. The good thing is that I moved 2100 miles away from it all & started life over & after a few years (like 10) of outstanding therapy & living alone, I can pick & choose who I want to be with & actually enjoy the company of during the holidays & have my own farm & house to really enjoy now. No stress. Only family I have is my daughter & she lives 1/2 way across the country so no pressures. After 17 years of living here I really enjoy my laid back holidays

I completely understand. I can't remember the last time I did the traditional holiday things. I live far from my family in my husband's country and his godmother who raised him passed away many years ago. Christmas and New Years are very family-oriented here.


My mother was one of those that had tons of rules about everything from decorating and what things to bake. Honestly, her rigidity sucked a lot of enjoyment out of the holidays.

We do a few low-key things and avoid all that stress. I hope you can find a similar solution.

I hate holidays on the most part because I either have to deal with some awful family members in the extended family or have to accept the fact that some of my close family members prefer these awful standoffish people to me.

I do like to decorate my house snd buy gifts and do holiday festivities. I just cannot stand family and drama surrounding it

The best holiday season I ever had was 2020. It was a tough time for everyone of course but we didn’t have to see a single person. My husband and I thought it was the best holiday we ever had lol