[smokestak]

I lost my wife of 16 years and friend of 25 on july 31st. I am 44 and she was 41, we were soulmates, perfectly matched and so in love. She died in bed beside me of a blood clot. I woke in the morn. to find her blue lifeless body next to me. I have heard all the words of comfort like sorry for ur loss and it will get better with time but it dosent.Ive pretty much been agnostic but would really like to belive that somehow somewhere her spirit lives on. My life now is doomed to lonliness despair and agony. Why would anyone choose to live like this. Im open too any sugestions or words of experience

[bebop]

hon I know you have heard it all before that it will get better and it really and truely does. in time. right now it is very fresh for you. Give yourself time to grieve. it isn't something that is fast. please seek grief counseling with others like you. it does help tremendously. come here and lean on us.

[Sabrina]

I have no words of comfort but wanted to offer you my sincerest condolences!

[ZilchHour]

I offer you deepest sympathies for the loss. The times for you are terrible and full of distress. Comfort or peace is out of question.

The life must go on, this is what all would have already told you. But I would ask you whether your wife who was your friend as well would be happy the way you are now? She would never have thought of leaving you for good but there are things that are not in our control. Your life may have lost meanings for you, but it is still meaningful for others and you can prove it so.

When we lose a loved one, our feeling of loss is also an acknowledgement of love and affection and of the importance the lost one had in our lives. But we should always make something good out of the loss, because we are neither the first nor the last to whom this thing has occured. If you have been let to live while destiny chose your partner to go, then there must be something worth living left in your life. And coming back to life will not be a disgrace to the death of your wife, but rather an honour and commemoration of her love and relationship.
Again, there is no comfort, there can be none after the loss, but you have to prove that her love had the strength to lift you up when she was alive and her love still has the power to lift you when she is not around.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[mysterytour]

her spirit can live on in you.......

[NuckingFutz]

I know you are grieving right now and that takes some time. But later on maybe do something different for a new perspective like a cruise just for you to someplace you have always wanted to go.

[tunesinger]

I lost my spouse and soul mate 6 years ago July 29th. We at least had time to say what needed to be said, but like you, life without her seemed so empty and devoid of living. I do have a strong faith, and although I believe that her body could no longer house her beautiful spirit, it wasn't enough. The thought that she was OK didn't ease my grief, because the best part of me died with her.

Finally after many years of counselors and crying myself to sleep the answer for me was suddenly clear in one session. My life had to go on to HONOR her life. You see, she taught me that I wasn't unlovable. She taught me how to love and how to be loved. The best part of her was still alive in me and I had to live to show people that. Every year, because she was such a generous person, during the anniversary of her death, I do some random act of kindness. This year, some college kid was waiting behind me in line to buy goggles she needed for swim practice and she was late. I bought them for her and told her about my Dorene.

So everything that was good about your wife and your relationship, you have the ability to carry it on, to give it to another someday, but the best of her is still alive in you. I hope that helps you some. If not now, maybe later.
Tunesinger

[Rhapsody]

From a mother that lost her only daughter.... I wish to say that while you will hurt and feel like giving up most of the days to follow, you will in time move forward, even if it takes years for you will get there.

It took my family four long years to even begin to walk the path of moving on, but twelve years later we are there walking and healing... and while time may get the best of me when I least expect it I always allow myself the right to mourn cry and yell if needed, but only for a day, then I pick my self up start a new and walk again.

[Rmdctc]

I'm so sorry. I do hope you can fins a grief counselor to help you through this.

[miray]

I'm not going to try and say I know what you are going through because I don't, but am so very sorry for your pain. I also believe she would still want you to live a full and happy life. It will definitely take time, how much cannot be known, but it will get a little easier. Some kind of counceling would probably do some good. Maybe check out different options and see what you are most comfortable with. Whatever you do, keep holding moving forward one day at a time...or one hour at a time. PC is a good place to vent too. My thoughts and prayers are with you