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#1
Dec 03, 2010, 01:59 PM
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I just lost my friend to suicide last week and I'm still feeling the shock of it. I met her online in a support chat room many years ago and I keep thinking I let her down. If only ....I had called her more, visited more....been there for her, she wouldn't have been so alone or felt so alone. I don't know what to do with the grief and anger I feel right now. I can't stop thinking and my heart breaks for her son she left behind.
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#2
Dec 04, 2010, 04:06 PM
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Dearheart, there is NOTHING you could have done to save her. When someone makes up their mind to kill themselves, that's that. They have already made plans, and they are going to stick to it. It has nothing to do with you - they have just decided that they can't take this world any longer, and want out. You could not have changed that.
 When something like this happens, the family and friends always feel like you do - and they beat themselves up unmercifully. And what for? It doesn't change anything. It doesn't bring her back. It ONLY makes YOU miserable. Is that what you think you deserve? Well,let me tell you that you DON'T deserve this. It wasn't up to you to save her because no one had that power. Yes it is sad that her son is left behind, but I'm sure he will be taken care of. Please throw down the guilt. You don't deserve it. You are grieving right now which is normal - but don't throw in the guilt. Pray for your friend and for her son - that's ALL. God bless you sweetie and take care. Hugs, Lee |
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#3
Dec 06, 2010, 12:42 PM
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Thank you Lee for your response and for caring. I'm trying not to feel guilty on top of everything else, but it's not easy. I've been hearing some slanderous things online about my friend that is making me question who she really was....I thought I knew her, but I hate to be questioning. I don't make friends easily, but I seem to lose them with no trouble. I am feeling very hurt and very confused by it all on top of the emmense grief.
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#4
Dec 08, 2010, 05:52 AM
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Oh, I am so sorry for your loss
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#5
Dec 09, 2010, 07:31 PM
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thank you very much, Sabrina....
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#6
Dec 12, 2010, 07:06 AM
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Please don't listen to that stuff online. You knew who she was TO YOU and that's all that counts. Anyone who would post slanderous stuff online about someone who has just died is not a decent human being. I'm sorry, but that is just awful.
 If she was good and kind to you, then that's all that counts, right?? There is no need for you to question anything anymore. She was your friend - that's all you need to know. She treated you well and you cared for her. I'm sure she's watching over you right now -- and I'm sure she's laughing at those idiots who would slander her good name. Please don't listen to those jokers. They aren't worth your time. God bless you and your friend. You'll both be in my prayers. Hugs, Lee |
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#7
Dec 12, 2010, 07:26 AM
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I am sure you did all you could for her. I am sorry for your loss
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those who matter.. Don’t mind... And those who mind.. Don’t matter." (Dr. Seuss) 
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#8
Dec 12, 2010, 10:34 AM
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thank you both for your kind words. You're right, Lee, I'm going to go with what I know in my heart of who my friend was to me and how kind she was to remember her and do what I can for her son to heal.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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