A Gift.

When dad was passing he looked at me and said, "I waited for you. I knew you'd come. I can go now. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. Don't cry, baby. I love you so much. I hope you understand. I KNOW you understand. I knew you would. I know it's hard, honey. It's ok. I need to go." Then he told me he loved me three times and that he tried (I feel he was speaking of trying to live to see daughter get married the following month as it's all he spoke of). It was a gift to me from him. That was the last time he spoke. As soon as he drifted, I wrote those words down on my checkbook ledger (the only paper I could find quickly) in that ICU room.

I will NEVER forget those words spoken thru that God-awful mask...through that mask, and with not enough air, he spoke clearly and forcefully so that I would know...so that he could attempt to ease MY pain. It now sits with his flag, medals, pictures...that checkbook ledger that contains the final gift that he gave to me.

Somehow it was so appropriate that it was just me and him. A father and his only daughter. The child that was "just like him". The sharing, uninterrupted...

((((((((((((KimmyDawn))))))))))))) Yea that sure is a gift. A special one. I have a journal entry from the last time my Biological father and I were together. After he died I had it laminated and its in my special cards, letters box.

Kimmydawn that brought tears to my eyes. My dad and I aren't really that close. I always figure when he is on his deathbed I will finially hear him tell me he loves me....

((((((((((((((myself)))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((VL)))))))))))))))))

I hadn't seen my father for 14 yrs prior to his surgery about 4 months before his death--maybe a total of five times in my adult life. It's never to late for these kinds of special gifts.

kd

That is such a valued thing you have Kimmy. It's good you wrote it down right away-- so you wouldn't have to second guess the memory. (I'm often second guessing my memory)

I wonder if something like that to hold on to has given you an added boost of strength?

Thanks for sharing.

mandy

(((((((((((((((((mandy))))))))))))))))))

Yes, it has given me a strength of sorts, as well as pease.

Thank you for your kind words.

KD

Wow -- what an experience. That's the kind of passing I wish for.

Yep, Ben. The doctor explained to me that his body felt no pain. In fact, he experienced a euphoria due to the build up of the carbon dioxide before he went into a coma-like state. When asked about pain, he said he had NONE. The doctor actually said that it was a blessing...

The doctor predicted every single thing that happened and was a pulmonary specialist, so I still believe that...combined with dad stating that he had no pain.

It was a private, respectful, peaceful passing to somewhere that he KNEW was beautiful. *tears*

KD

So wonderful for you, KD, what beautiful closure.
My father never got the words out his mouth, but he did manage to tell me with his hand (American Sign Language)..... no, he wasn't deaf or mute, he just had no idea how to do it with his mouth...... at least he found a way before it was too late!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((HB)))))))))))))))))))))))

HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT! Thank you so much for sharing that. It's odd what we could miss if we don't "see".

Be safe,

KD

(((kimmy))) what a wonderful memory that is. I just can't imagine when it is time for my Dad to go. I always wished my Mom would have said those things to me before she passed but Dad is a different story. I know it is going to be very difficult for me. I hope I have your strength. You are a blessing to me right now

(((((((((((((((bebop))))))))))))))))))

I wish you all the peace.

Love,

KD