[desirae]

Last year, my grandmother, discovered she had cancer of the pancreas and liver.
Docters tried to perform surgery, opened her up and discovered the cancer was far to extensive to continue the surgery. So they sewed her up, and gave her six months to live.
At the time I was 4 months pregnant with my second child. It killed me to think that she may not beable to meet me new baby. She loved my first one so much.
When she first realized she would have to leave her home, and be cared for, she asked my husband and I if she could move in with us. At first we were like sure, but then we discussed it and knew mommy dearest would never let that happen. Grandma had things my mother wanted.
When she became to ill, she moved in with my mother, who was addicted to crack cocaine(again). I knew this was a bad situation, but I had no control. My mother took my grandmothers credit cards, and went on sprees. She'd then exchange the things she bought for cash, and would go do drugs. Instead of being home and caring for her mother, my mom and her ex husband, would disappear for days.
I would go visit her. She was deterioting before my eyes. She began to look completely different. One day out of the blue my grandmother said that she wanted my sister and I to have 5 grand each from the life insurance policy.
I did have my baby, and my grandmother was there. I was incredibily happy, and felt blessed. My grandmother was in love with my new daughter. I also named my daughter after her. It was the last good moments we had together, and I hope she was happy.
My grandmother made it clear that she wanted to die at home in her bed with her dog by her side. But my mother put her in this raggity *** hopital, so she could go party, instead of stay home and care for grandma, who at this point needed much care.
Three weeks after my baby was born, I was at an appointment, and I recieved an urgent call from my husband to get to the hospital as quick as I could and to say good bye to my grandmother.
It was horrible, I would explain in detail what I saw, but I don't want you to be scared. It was not peaceful, it was not beautiful, I was terrified.
I was the first to arrive, I tried to sooth my grandmother, by telling her over and over not to be scared because she's a good person, and she'll go to heaven, although I was terrified and not a believer. All I wanted was for her to not be scared.
My mother and sister arrived, and my mother was high on crack. She took to long to get there because she had to get crack first.
After my grandmother passed, my mom blew out of there like a storm, and although my grandmother was gone, she was just left there all alone on her bed.
Later my mom recieved the life insurance, I made sure to be there and get the money grandma wanted me to have, I twisted my mom's arm, and only got 2 grand, while my sister got a hundred. She disappeared for a week after that.
She came back skin and bones, and slept for two days.
I have no love in me for my mother anymore. I tried to forgive her for doing this to my grandmother, but I can't because she walks around as though she did nothing wrong. I guess she feels grandma owed her or something.
What should I do, should I forgive her, or kick the ***** out of me and my kids life?

[EJ711]

Desirae,

I would stay away from your mother. She did not behave like a loving daughter towards your grandmother, and she has not behaved in a loving way towards you. When you are able you can forgive her in your heart, but you still do not need to have contact with her. I'm sorry things have been so rough for you this past year.

We're here for you.

Jane

detach immediately. you don't want her around your children. you love your family and obviously she has no love for anything except her drugs. if she ever gets help, it will have to be because she wants it. you can do nothing for her. xoxoxoxo pat