When do you let go?

My grandparents were my life. Where do I begin? Grandad died back in 1999, grandma had a stroke back in 2001. There home was a haven to me as a young man. The absence of that home in suburban Philadelphia has left me hollow for seven years.

They lived through the great depression. He served his unit in WW II as a medic, she danced with him down at Fort Bragg before he shipped out. Their values as people transcend anything I know, and they spent their lives teaching us, guiding us, inspiring us . . .

I am feeling rather uninspired by the world these days. I want to honor their memory, but all I can do is visit her in the nursing home every few weeks. They gave me a place to live after my second set of parents got divorced. They initially housed my first set. Their house has always been a family hub. Somehow, my extended family remained close, through them.

It has been seven years since this beginning of the end for me. How can I say that when I have only turned 40? I love my wife, but somehow, their household represented so much to me. Shouldn’t my wife, my home, and my dog be enough for me? If I had my choice in life, I would have lived their forever. They were great people, with much character. I feel haunted.

i understand how you are feeling. it was a groundedness feeling that you received there. i have had the same experience concerning one of my homes. i feel invisible now.

it's okay to miss someone and a place as you do. i'd rather you missed them than not. you're a very generous and giving person and i imagine that you give your wife and dog plenty of love. xoxoxo pat

You let go when you are able to heal from the void that has been left behind in your heart by their absence and when you are able to see the present GIFTS in the life you still have, the continuous life you are blessed with....

After the death of my only daughter it literally took me 4 years to even start to live again - let alone learn how to care for life like I once had.... it was the knowledge of my other two kids (my sons) and how much they still needed me that got my spirit going again.

((((((( HUGS )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

your grandparents sound like they were wonderful people.....how could you not miss all that they gave to you?.......but you know what i think would make them happiest would be to see you carrying on in their footsteps with your own family......creating a home and a life that others will call their hub.....

Yorkie, you don't have to let go. Keep the memories alive in your heart and mind. Think to yourself "What would Grandpa/Grandma have said or done?" Revisit "home", just don't live in the past.

That home and those people are your roots. By no means sever them! When you visit Grandma, tell her your feelings, your thoughts about days gone by but don't say "bye" to them.

I'm going through the same thing with my mom. Well, I guess about my mom. She provided everything for me. It's like everything has lost that important special feeling now. My life seems very empty and unrewarding. I'm void without her existence.