[whiteNight]

The woman I love and have known for about a year and a half or so who has struggled with depression most of her life attempted suicide last night by overdose. I was able to get help within 15 minutes of ingesting the pills. Over the last few months our relationship as begun to shatter. She no longer wants to marry me and I was one of the few strands of hope she had to want to live. What hurts the most right now is that I am not allowed to see her or know how she is doing. The most I know now is that she was in the ICU but that was a couple hours ago. It has been 20 hours since I last saw her. If she survives she would most likely refuse to be put in inpatient and forced to be sent to an inpatient site for i dont know how long. The only way I will find out anything is if she calls me and right now she most likely blames me for saving her and will have no desire to call me. My ability to function is stressing to its limits. I dont know what is worse, loosing her (which was inevitable since she didn't want to have a family with me anymore) or not knowing if she is even alive (which i think is likely but nothing is ever for sure).

I knew life would be tough with her, but I love her and even if she doesnt want to be with me she still loves me. I am still in the first stage of grief denial and I know eventually I will most likely become angry at myself, even if I know its not my fault.

I dont regret finding and loving her and even if I knew it would end with her ending it all, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

The stage of depression is what I fear the most. Growing up as a kid I couldnt handle life and was in and out of mild depression for like 7 years at least. This sort of tramatic event who knows how I will ever recover. All I want to do now is hold on to the memory and hope that I can remind myself that it is possible to be happy.But right now all i can do is cry and pray that she is ok, even though if she lifes, it is more likely just a delay of the inevitable next attempt to end it, especially if I am no longer there to support her.

[Travelinglady]

I'm so sorry this happened and that your girlfriend was so distraught that she tried to kill herself. Alas, unless you are kin to a person, you are kept out of the loop in hospital situations.

As for losing her, time will tell. She might actually be glad (although she might not admit it, depending on how depressed she is) that she was saved. Pills can be iffy and she might have wanted to be found. Let's hope she will get treatment and get better.

Meanwhile, if you get too down yourself, then I suggest you meet with some counselor.

[whiteNight]

I just called the hospital a couple minutes ago and she is still a patient at the hospital in the ICU so that means it has been almost 24 hours since the OD and she is still alive. Knowing she is is alive right now helps me a lot.

[TatorTot]

My thoughts and prayers are with her and u!!!

[whiteNight]

I just spent the night with her at the hospital. She is going to be ok and we will pull through together.

[tarmyg]

Im so glad you got to have contact w her. Keep fighting hard for her... She is worth it. Prayers for you and her. Thanks for the update.

[whiteNight]

She is doing a lot better now that she has been transferred to an inpatient setting. We are working through this event and know that things have to change in order for this nasty cycle to end.