[Dacooch]

My boyfriend and I were together for 3 amazing years. We got along famously and never argued, enjoyed one another's company and consistently reassured one another of our love for each other. We seemed to have a perfect relationship.

Recently my father fell very ill, and I was called out of town to be by his bedside. My father passed away, which left me away out of town for 3weeks. The whole time I was away I would talk to my boyfriend (who seemed depressed or 'off' but blamed it on work) every day, and expressed how I was feeling with the loss of my father, and being away from home and how much I missed just being in his arms.

When I got home after 3weeks, the first day I was home my (ex) boyfriend wasn't acting like himself. When I asked what was going on he said he decided he wanted to have more time to himself (3weeks wasn't enough apparently) amd that he wanted to break up.

It felt like my boyfriend died too, and the relationship we held so dearly just died as fast as my father.

I am completely devastated and don't know what to do or how to feel. I seemed to be handling the loss of my father quite well, and then this has been even worse because it feels as though he died yet is still living just not with me. It's so confusing because there was no reason for this, no warning, no Merritt.

I feel hurt and angry with him for doing this to me when I needed him the most, yet I still miss him and yearn for his love.

What do I do now...

[Open Eyes]

I am very sorry about the loss of your father. You are right this bf had terrible timing.

IMO, this boyfriend issue is "all about himself" and most likely has nothing to do with your worth etc. I suggest you do your best to focus on yourself right now and see if there is anything "new" you can do, like take up some classes somewhere, learn something for "yourself" that might be different/interesting. Do your best to fill up your time and not mope and be alone and bored.

The best way to recover from loss is by doing things new, keep busy and vow to continue to "grow" as a person.

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry!
You'll definitely need to talk to someone in the offline World.
Either go seek out a grief counselor
Or
Check out your local church to see if they provide grief counseling that way it will be free or minimal cost.
Do you have any supportive surviving, caring relatives? I would reach out to them too.
As for your ex I would write him a letter if you know where he is telling him just how you feel. Try to write it from your perspective.
In that way you can get some closure. That was a rotten thing he did. Men tend to be selfish. They seem to require our attention 24/7 so totally dependent. Then when something happens in our life some of these men tend towards acting selfish like a child instead of being there to support you they only think about themselves.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that side of your ex. He has got some serious issues of his own.
I lost my Dad a few years ago so I'm real sorry for your loss. Try to reach out for some help. If possible take some time off from Work usually the Boss will understand.
Avoid any kind of stress if possible too.
Take it real easy.
I care.

To me, it sounds as though your boyfriend had some abandonment-type issues while you were gone. Even though he understands why you were gone and how important it was for you to be gone that he also blames you for being gone, if that makes sense. Hopefully, he'll come around. Give it time.....and I'm sorry about the loss of your dad.