[projock33]

Hello:

I just lost a grandmother due to cancer from smoking and i am currently in a relationship with someone who smokes how can i tell her that her smoking reminds me of my loss?

[Leed]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Believe me, I know how hard it is to lose someone like that. Please accept my condolences.

As for your partner, it's hard to get someone to stop smoking. That has to be a commitment from the person themselves. They have to want to do it more than anything else -- otherwise, it won't work. It's much like quitting drinking for an alcoholic -- it's an addiction. The cigarette manufacturers KNEW many years ago that they were putting an addictive substance in the cigarettes, but they didn't tell the people who were buying them --- they just kept doing it!! Not until the government came down on them did they put a warning on each pack. But it was too late for many people -- they were already addicted! And the trouble is, the warning says NOTHING about addiction -- it only says they're bad for your health!

So your friend is addicted. And addiction is VERY difficult to deal with. Ask anyone who has stopped taking drugs or has stopped drinking. Like I said, your friend is going to have to WANT to stop smoking before he/she will. And your begging/pleading/threatening/nagging, etc., is not going to do any good.

You might suggest the patches, but I'm sure your partner knows about them already. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee