[BrunetteBabe1005]

My dad has his own construction company and he brought this new worker around named Mike. This was 2 years ago, but I instantly was attracted to him. He was so ridiculously nice, and so funny! I loved being around him, and he was so cute. Very kind, and very giving, also very loving, just overall a beautiful person inside and out. He is 2 years older than me, so I was 17 he was 19. We started to hang out more, and we always smoked weed together, and we enjoyed each other's company. I had a really bad crush on him, and my dad told me to not go out with him cause he does drugs. My dad made the point that it's best to be friends with him, and that's it. I couldn't believe it though that he was doing Heroin, but apparently he was dong Heroin since he was 15.

He didn't show any signs of being Heroin Addict, honestly I am very intuned with Psychology and Drug Addicts, Mental Disorders. I am currently studying Psychology. So, I was shocked to hear that, but Mike got a girlfriend, and a new job, so we kinda fell out of touch. I was ok with that, but it still kinda upset me, but he wanted to break up with his girlfriend, and when he tried to do that she "trapped" him and got pregnant. He came over my house, and I remember he was saying she "Trapped" me and he seemed distraught. I tried to talk him down, and offer advice, and he seemed appreciative of my input on the situation. We smoked weed and had a good time with that and we were just laughing with each other at stupid things when your smoking weed.

Then I didn't see him after that. I only saw him on Facebook, with his baby, and girlfriend, and I never met his girlfriend, and baby. Well I saw him 2 months ago, and he was sweet as always. Then he went into rehab shortly after that cause he was on Heroin again. Well when he got out he was posting on his Facebook how great it felt to be clean, and how much he loves his girlfriend and baby, and I was so happy for him! I noticed though one of his drug buddies commented and said "Hey lets go see a movie" And then my heart sunk, cause I said to myself "He is going to be back on the drugs, this is so sad" Well then Me and my dad, and my brother and my dad's worker John went to a Pirates Game, and John was saying that Mike was back on drugs. I said "Poor Mike is probably going to die" The next day I get a frantic call from John, and he was sobbing saying "Mike passed away! He overdosed" I instantly started to go into shock and just hung up the phone.

It's weird cause I was having so much fun the night before! I was drinking and hanging out with a guy a like, John. Me and John were just having a blast. The crowd was awesome, and the the night was just filled with funny stories of me and John, and my brother, just a splendid night. To think that Mike was going to die the next day, sickens me. I also said he is probably going to die, and I feel guilty for saying that.

I am sick, I am severely depressed, I wish I could've helped him. I am so in tuned with emotions, and Psychology that I would've gotten through to him, because the people around him are so dense to emotions. I also never told him how I felt about him, and how much I liked him. I am living in regret, and I feel so bad. He died at the age of 21, he left his 7 month old baby and girlfriend behind, he overdosed on Heroin and died in his bed. His girlfriend found him when she came home from work and the baby was left unatteneded for about 5 hours approximately. I am crying as I am writing this cause the guilt is over flowing in me. I feel like I could've done something, and I should've said to him how I felt about him when he was single. I know he internalized alot, and never let his true feelings out, but I don't think it was a "accidental overdose" I think it wa son purpose, cause the day before he died he cancelled his Facebook. Then John said he hung out with him 2 weeks ago, and he said to John "If I get back on drugs that will be the end of me" Plus, he has been doing it since he was 15, so he knows how much to inject, I just think he injected too much on purpose, cause I think he was giving up. He probably felt trapped, but didn't want to break up with her, for his baby, cause he had split up parents and I know how much resentment he had so he probably didn't want to do that to his child, and instead of solving the problem he numbed it, and I jsut think he gave up, but I just wish I would've talked to him, I can't live with this guilt that I have, and now I am severely depressed, and I just don't know what to do. I am so sick. Please any input on this? Thank you for reading!

[possum220]

Truly, if his mind was made up there would have been nothing you could do. His decision, His life. I'm sorry you have to deal with the fall out.

Dont get sucked into guilt. It was his choice.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you lost your friend. But it was his choice to go back on drugs. He could have reached out to you for help but he didn't. You can't help someone that doesn't want help. No matter how good you were with talking to him in the past, he already had his mind made up. I would suggest you get some couseling to help you get through this. Grief takes a while to work through.
Gayle

[avlady]

I'm sure he would not want you to feel guilty, it was his decision, and had to deal with the drug problem by getting himself help. It is not your fault when a person dies because of an overdose, they do it to themselves for whatever reasons. I hope you can see that and not blame yourself, and like i said he would not want you to feel like it's your fault.

[Speed3]

My only child Jason died of a heroin overdose on 1/3/13, he was 27. He was living with us and died in his bedroom.

He came back home in the fall after he got out of the hospital from a bad overdose in August that left him very ill physically.

He had only been on heroin since the spring of 2012. He tried rehab.

There is an epidemic in the country right now the deaths from heroin overdose are incredible. The heroin these days is incredibly strong, easy to get, and cheaper than a six pack to get high.

They say once someone gets hooked on it they only have a 5% chance of getting of it permanently, even with rehab.

Even though I know all this I am filled with guilt also. I am tortured with thoughts that I could have done more for him.

[BrunetteBabe1005]

Originally Posted by Speed3

My only child Jason died of a heroin overdose on 1/3/13, he was 27. He was living with us and died in his bedroom.

He came back home in the fall after he got out of the hospital from a bad overdose in August that left him very ill physically.

He had only been on heroin since the spring of 2012. He tried rehab.

There is an epidemic in the country right now the deaths from heroin overdose are incredible. The heroin these days is incredibly strong, easy to get, and cheaper than a six pack to get high.

They say once someone gets hooked on it they only have a 5% chance of getting of it permanently, even with rehab.

Even though I know all this I am filled with guilt also. I am tortured with thoughts that I could have done more for him.

I am so very sorry for your loss! He is so cute, and seems like a sweetheart! But thank you for answering my post! Heroin is a disgusting poison that I wish would be wiped of this earth along with the other drugs that are lethal. It disgusts me. But you do have valid points and I greatly appreciate you! May your beautiful son R.I.P Take care.

[Rzay4]

It's not your fault I also am very attuned my emotions.

I predicted my brothers death but didn't awarely know until after he was gone. It hit me hard and still comes up somedays.

Thanks for sharing, best of luck to you.