[yellowted]

it is my partners ten year since passing anniversary next week, and every year I feel very short tempered and stressed for about a fortnight before. usually I am pretty patient, but can't seem to shrug the feelings I get at this time of year. does anyone else get like this so long after their loved ones passing? is it normal to get like this?

Yep, it's normal ...

It's also important to be extra patient, gentle and kind with yourself at this time.

[Shadow13]

I sympathize with you I'm sorry for your loss.

I get unspeakably down on anniversaries and birthdays.

Sending prayers/thoughts for you.

[yellowted]

thank you both, I do tend to take the actual day as a 'me' day, so I can concentrate on tending my partners grave and dealing with however I feel at that time. I understand getting down / emotional on the day, but for a whole fortnight running up to it too is difficult to deal with especially when I have to be nice to my carer. if I get grumpy/frustrated or anything then I end up with no carer which is not good!

[lizardlady]

Yellowted, I've found myself getting down and cranky as much as a month before the anniversary. I have a whole host of anniversaries this time of year. I start getting down and stressed soem time in July. It won't end until some time in October. I've learned to keep an eye on my temper because I get short tempered. Not fair to others to lash out because I'm hurting. At the same time I give myself a lot of leeway about feeling cruddy.

I don't like the word "normal". Normal is a setting on the dryer, not a state for people. From talking to others what we are feeling is pretty common though.

[Muppy]

I'm an anniversary person, too. And do I wish I weren't??? You betcha. The whole holiday season gets to me. I actually get angry when I see the first Christmas decorations. Christmas reminds me of a miserable holiday when I was a child, and the tragic loss of the loved ones who are with me only in my heart now.