The Anniversary of my father's death

AAAAA · Sep 12, 2013 at 08:12 AM

I make a conscious effort not to pay attention to the date in September. The 8th was my father's birthday. He died on the 12th. My subconscious is not cooperating. I had a reoccurring dream for nearly a year after he died. I had the same dream last night.

gayleggg · Sep 12, 2013 at 09:31 AM

Yes, anniversaries of loved ones death does bring back memories. I'm just coming up to my mom's and just past my dad's. It always makes me sad. I still miss the so much. So I understand that you would won't to avoid thinking about it. It's part of the grieving process, dreams included. I hope you feel better soon.

Grey Matter · Sep 12, 2013 at 11:28 PM

So many memories and it feels like overload. It's so hard to get through the anniversary's, no matter how much time has passed. I'll keep you in my thoughts and please do take care and be kind to yourself. Many hugs.

AAAAA · Sep 13, 2013 at 09:59 PM

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I am going to have to do something about this soon. I find myself sitting here weeping and not even know I'm doing it.

Ladyzero · Sep 13, 2013 at 10:55 PM

Grieve, it's natural. Cry, if you need to. Better 'out', than 'in'.
We are HUMAN. It HURTS ! We love our lost ones, they are not forgotten, whether it's 20 years, or 2 since they left us.
We remember dates, anniv, and xmas e.t.c.

Let the tears fall. It's grief, it's healing. ~

We miss and love them. We hurt. We're human. ~

A hug, from me.

optimize990h · 02:44 AM

Tears bestow release of stress and tension. Perhaps finding a way to help synergize healing by doing an activity that celebrates the person. A gradual process of the grieving of your loss.

AAAAA · Sep 14, 2013 at 02:52 PM

I spend very little time with my father's sister. She was a very important part of my life growing up, but since her husband, my father, and another Aunt has died she spends every waking moment talking about how sad it is that they're gone, how wrong, etc. It's depressing. I know that I do not honor my father's memory wallowing in sorrow. He lived his life to the fullest and had no regrets. This is just a really bad month for me. The other 11 months I can put things in perspective. I know that he would be very disappointed in me for wanting to curl up in a ball and hibernate through this month.

unaluna · Sep 14, 2013 at 03:15 PM

I dreamed about my dad just this week. I had hooked up the dishwasher weirdly and as it drained it was splashing all over the place, even into the living room where he was sitting in his usual chair. He just gave me a typical look and didnt say anything. It's weird, I've almost interacted with him more in the 20 years he's been gone, in my dreams, than in the previous 20 years (I'm 61 now).

AAAAA · Sep 14, 2013 at 03:28 PM

I have two reoccurring dreams. Neither are pleasant. I only really dream them these days in September.

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The Anniversary of my father's death

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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 17 1 hugs given	Sep 12, 2013 at 08:12 AM #1 I make a conscious effort not to pay attention to the date in September. The 8th was my father's birthday. He died on the 12th. My subconscious is not cooperating. I had a reoccurring dream for nearly a year after he died. I had the same dream last night. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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Grey Matter Magnate Member Since Jul 2013 Location: hippocampus Posts: 2,379 11 962 hugs given	Sep 12, 2013 at 11:28 PM #3 So many memories and it feels like overload. It's so hard to get through the anniversary's, no matter how much time has passed. I'll keep you in my thoughts and please do take care and be kind to yourself. Many hugs. __________________ “You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”.
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 17 1 hugs given	Sep 13, 2013 at 09:59 PM #4 Thank you for the kind thoughts. I am going to have to do something about this soon. I find myself sitting here weeping and not even know I'm doing it. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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Ladyzero Member Member Since Nov 2012 Location: Uk Posts: 408 11 133 hugs given	Sep 13, 2013 at 10:55 PM #5 Grieve, it's natural. Cry, if you need to. Better 'out', than 'in'. We are HUMAN. It HURTS ! We love our lost ones, they are not forgotten, whether it's 20 years, or 2 since they left us. We remember dates, anniv, and xmas e.t.c. Let the tears fall. It's grief, it's healing. ~ We miss and love them. We hurt. We're human. ~ A hug, from me.
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optimize990h Elder Member Since Jun 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 6,508 12 6,203 hugs given	Sep 14, 2013 at 02:24 AM #6 Tears bestow release of stress and tension. Perhaps finding a way to help synergize healing by doing an activity that celebrates the person. A gradual process of the grieving of your loss. __________________ I get fed, don't worry. (Buddy putting in his 2bits worth) Last edited by optimize990h; Sep 14, 2013 at 02:44 AM.. Reason: coding adjustment
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 17 1 hugs given	Sep 14, 2013 at 03:28 PM #9 I have two reoccurring dreams. Neither are pleasant. I only really dream them these days in September. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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