[eskielover]

I have had so many things going on around me that is keeping the loss of my Mother so alive in my mind (just 1 1/2 years), that the day that was my Fathers birthday came & went (October 10) & I didn't remember it until today.

They are burried next to each other, but I just can't get myself to go there at this time. My Dad was a great person even though his self esteem was almost non existent. Looking back, I realize that he was dealing with more things than anyone ever realized. Knowing that he spent most of his high school senior year caring for his Mother who was dying of cancer gives me insight as to why his actions were what they were later in his life.

There has been a good thing that has come out of going through their house after my mother died & that was that I found papers showing how many night school classes my Father had taken to improve himself. I never thought he had any drive to do much of anything, so it has been a plesant surprise. I was always so embarassed being around him with other people that I didn't spend much time knowing other parts of him.

We had our disagreements on the phylosophy of life & I never was able to believe the things he wanted me to believe, but he was always here to help with anything I needed. I am glad that I have some better memories of my Father than I do of my Mother.

At least I have been able to spend a little while after the date to look back at my Father in a much better light than I was able to last year.
Debbie

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS )))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I understand, for this has happened with me concerning my precious daughter (God Rest Her Soul).... but please know that it does not mean that you do not care - it just means that you are moving on with life, as you should.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -