[Flyawayblue]

Hi everyone I am new here, I found this forum trying to help my daughter. I need some guidance and advice. My wife died 8years ago from cancer. She died suddenly and no one knew she would die. My daughter was only nine when she died. Her and her mother were really close. She didn't really grieve when she was younger. I did take the whole family to counseling. All of my children were really young when it happened. However my daughter refused to go and speak to anyone. I thought that she was fine and dealt with her mothers death up until this point. My daughter is a senior in high school now. She asked me the other day when was mommy coming home and can she go see her. I was taken back by her question and said I would take her to mothers burial. She then responded mommy didn't really die and she wants her to come home so that she can come to her graduation, go to college,and see her go to prom. She also said dead people can come back to life. She said her senior year sucks and if her mother isn't going to be there she won't go to graduation,prom, or any other events. Recently she said she is trying to look for her and is writing letters with no return address. She also said she feels abandoned by her mom and doesn't understand what she did wrong to make her mommy go away. I really don't know what to do at this point. She did go to therapy in the past but doesn't talk to the therapist. She screams curses and walks out. She says she doesn't trust anyone and doesn't really talk to me. In all honestly I don't know what to say or do.I don't know how to deal with this situation. I don't want to spend money on therapy and she doesn't talk or make progress. I am really lost at this point. It's really breaking my heart to see my daughter go through this. The one thing she wants I can't give her.

[gayleggg]

I wish I had a solution, but this is above my head. I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this and therefore, you as well. My heart goes out to you and you daughter.

[Blackrock]

Sorry for your lost. Here are some suggestions

First- Check with your health insurance provider. Most insurance offer behavior health support and counseling. If u don't have one apply for free insurance.

Second- talk to your daughter and let her know u're there for her and there are lots of people that love her too. Watch a movie about similar situation and tell her stories about her childhood with her mom. Bring back nice memories. Let her know that mom is resting in peace and looking down on her.

Third- have someone that ur daughter is close to (friend, school counselor or relative) and let that person talk to her slowly. After all, she's in high school and she should understand. She needs to be strong to take care of her family in the future.

Four- have family events. Picnic, vacation, go to concert, beach - do something fun!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Fuzzybear]

[SeekerOfLife]

Sounds like your daughter buried her hurt down in her heart long ago. Also, sounds like she never let go of her mom. I would guess there is still A LOT of hurt on the inside of her. Could you arrange to get her some counseling? It would really help her if she is open to it. Blessings.

[Vanes1982]

Hello Flyawayblue!
I am deeply sorry that you are going through this and also understand how your teenage daughter is affected. Rest assured that you had done everything in your power to help your family.
My dad died when I was 19. I remember that a couple of months afterward I still thought that I had seen him drive by. It takes time to heal. I was given a brochure entitled 'When someone you love die' and it really helped me out. Am sending you some links to articles that I have found very helpful. Hope it helps.

Can the Dead Really Live Again?

Online Books That Help You Study the Bible

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1...th+death&p=par

[Gus1234U]

it's quite possible you are just seeing what you would expect,, grief,, when there is a much more serious underlying question... what you express about your daughter fits none of the stages of grieving with which i am familiar. i am concerned that your daughter is experiencing some early-onset schizophrenia, or something of that nature, that distorts her ability to tell real from unreal.

a therapist usually does a more detailed kind of intake and assessment for emotional status than what i have seen with psychiatrists, unless you can pay for a really good one. but i would consider finding some way to get an expert assessment before just looking into grief support.

best wishes~
Gus