ex husband body found

Hello to you,
A year ago my alcoholic ex husband was found by the police at home. I had left him 3 years earlier, and suffered crippling depression and breakdowns afterwards. He chose drink over everyone and everything. He had been dead for some weeks . I had to deal with everything just like I was still his wife. My boyfriend at the time started dating someone else soon after.

My point is this. How do you overcome guilt and the WHY? Therapy and anti-d's are in place and I am committed to them wholeheartedly. I live alone, 44, financially comfortable, plod on each day at work. I feel so so guilty. I have no desire to try to get back into life. I feel like a part of me died when he died. Why? Why did he let himself live like that? The self-neglect and squalor. Helping him was killing me, so I had to withdraw. After years of denial I had to finally put myself first, and now I live with the guilt of that. I feel too guilty to have a happy life.
Has anyone come to terms with overwhelming guilt surrounding a traumatic death? I wish you all warmth and comfort.
Thank you for reading

dear red squirrel, welcome to pc. i am so sorry about your ex husband's passing and for how you are feeling because of it. i really feel you have nothing to feel guilty about. your ex husband's problems started way before your time with him and that is what led to his death, not your leaving him. you can only do so much. trying to heal someone who was wounded like he was is a monumental task that even professionals like therapists cannot always accomplish. So please go easy on yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for having cared for him like you did. btw, there is an addictions forum on pc that you might want to check out. anyways, i really hope you will one day come to some peace over this and allow yourself to be happy again. again, you deserve it. wishing you well.

My ex died after I left him because of his self-destructive/abusive behavior.

I understand your guilt. Oh how I understand it. I feel like we are kindred spirits. His demise is NOT your fault. Telling you this helps me too.

We do what we can but we must protect ourselves first.

Best of luck to you dear. You'll be in my thoughts.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm so sorry. We can't control other's behavior or choices. Think of the serenity prayer. I used to think it was stupid, but after my brother's death, I repeat that thing all the time. Be kind to yourself. May angels surround you.