[vonmoxie]

I thought it could be of some comfort and purpose to make note of what *isn't* lost to us, of those no longer with us, since it is only natural in their absence to focus on all that we miss of them.

I have things of my late husband's still around: his wedding ring, his grandfather's watch.. letters he wrote, other objects that he enjoyed or were meaningful to him.. and I appreciate them, but they are only things, and could feasibly be taken from me (if only by way of a natural disaster ). But lately I've been noticing more how things that he taught me, knowledge and expertise that he shared with me, are not lost and can't be taken from me, which makes them very precious.

For instance, he taught me to play a mean game of pool, and I still can. It's something we did together as friends long before we started dating, and every shot I know how to set up, is one I can still remember him showing me, selflessly teaching me all he knew to the point where I could beat him at more than the occasional game. There is some joy for me, in still being able to share something with him, even if it is only the success of a ball expertly sunk in a tricky side pocket, or a bank shot I never thought I'd be able to make.

I do declare. It cannot be taken from me.

All the best to you xo

[glok]

Thanks, vonmoxie, for sharing. Unfortunately, some have to look long and hard to be able to relate to your experience, if at all.

I wish you well.

[vonmoxie]

Thank you glok. You are correct, as I am myself among them. In what is now 5 plus years since, there has been little solace at all; hence my surprise to discover this little nugget.

[Pikku Myy]

I agree vonmoxie about things, feeling and memories I am staying at my brothers tiny beach shack and feel his positive presence here, everywhere. His music, books, midnight walks on the beach... just the general happy and comfortable feeling that we always shared when I spent time with him. I do miss him, but am very happy to remember the good memories we had. Hugs your way.

[Livelonginspired]

What isn't lost for me is my hope; my faith in true love, which was restored and reinforced by someone I lost. I also know myself much better because of this person. I know what I need, want and deserve. I'm wonderful, and I'm beautiful, and I know this even when I don't feel it. I know I'm never alone no matter how lonely I feel. I have memories. I have a purpose.

As strange as this may sound, even the pain of my loss is worth being grateful to have. I just love to feel. I'd rather feel better things but at least there's something.