[HALLIEBETH87]

To Him raised me,

Its been 1 year and 4 months since you moved in with Jesus. I have gone to counseling for about a year now. I have prayed for forgiveness sat on your grave and cried for you, played you music we both liked and made many things in memory of you. Sometimes I think I am 'healed' but then...I see an old picture of you, I think of something we both liked, her the name Michael or any of the other thousand of things that makes me miss you more.
I was on a date with a friend that night. Had just sat down to eat and my evil step-sister called...told me she had heard a 911 call to your house and thought you were dead. Then all she said was to call her when I found out what happened. I heard it from the girl who betrayed us to the abuser, the girl who rushed to call and tell me before my family could and the girl who didn't even come to you funeral or call me after she 'found out.'
My date, Ryan was little help. I sat andlooked blanky in his direction..said what I'd just heard and he asked if I was ok...then went back to eating. I excused myself to the bathroom where I lost it. Calling a couple friends and violently releasing tears...I heard a woman come into the bathroom....she left after askingif I was ok. No I was not Ok. I felt like I abandoned you after I ran away. Don't you see? You should have escaped the abuse too. But, you were scared like I was. I was angry for a long time because you were my Dad and you were supposed to portect me from her. But you didn't. I didn't acknowledge the fact that you couldn't protect yourself. Why didn't someone report our abused warning signs? Your frequent black eyes should have been enough. The fact I started cutting wasn't your fault. Its just I felt dead. She had killed my spirit and wanted to be alive again. It helped for a while. When I got really scared of her I did it to relieve the anxiety. Please don't be ashamed of me. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to stop thehurt I was feeling. 10 years is a long time to be isolated and hurt every day.
It wasn't in the way I'd hoped, but I am, glad you escaped her too. I love you.

Me

[Rapunzel]

HallieBeth,

I am at a loss on what to say, and I don't want to intrude on your letter to your Dad, but thought maybe you would like to know that I am here with you and your feelings - your fear and your sadness and your love for your Dad - are coming through very strong. I wish that I had more to offer you than just to sit with you now.