[Meeh]

Im new in this website and Ive never posted anything in any forum.
I would like to know if someone went throug similar situation as me and can help me.

Im in my mid 30s. I quitted my job a year ago To take care of my mother. After very painful experince, she passed away some months algo. I already have lost my father when i was 12. And I feel Im grieven for my parents and grandparents At the same time.
I had a LDR that stopped waiting me. I was very doubtful when we could reunite and ended.
In this time all people I know have moved To a different place and have started new projects.
I feel the world moves but I can't. I know I have To leave my hometown bc there is no much opportunities and I am very lonely.
I don't know where To go or what To do. Nothing I did before really motivated or motivate me know.
I am also battleing tappering AD which i took for way long many years.

I miss my mother in an inmense way. And sometimes I still want To save her from hospital. I miss all who loved me uncondincionally but are not with me anymore.

Im lost

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry to here about your mother. I know it is a great loss, especially, with you so young. I was much older when I lost mine, but the heartbreak is still with me. She was my best friend, so I feel your pain.

Is there any town around where you have family of any sort, that maybe could help with your emptiness?

I would start searching for jobs everywhere you might want to live. See what's out there then maybe you could visit the cities and see which one feels right.

Feel free to post when you wish.

[Meeh]

Thanks gayle.
I appreciate your words.
Im very confused due many things that happened last year. I was in another country working and left everything to come back home. And I had a relationship with someone who lives overseas.
My head is dizzy. I dont want to stay in my country or going back where I was working. I wanted To go with my bf and start all over in my life, but at the same that change was toó big and stressful.
I dont know what happened to me? See my mother dying changed my view of life of what is important. How worthless is material world. How humanless can be sometimes health system where doctors treat you in a cold way and when everything goes wrong they just say quickly sorry and dissapear.....and she is just a new number for stadistics

But then I come back reality and the world doesnt stop and my head that was so clear in an spiritual world becomes dizzy..... and I start with the I dont knows....

There also the stress of money issues and all the things that you have to deal with after someone dies ...although i think now is worst when some time passed and everybody expects you to move on.

Im sorry my message is so confusing.....im dealing one minute with missing my mother or my father, other times dealing with break up and that I cant now go with him To his country, other times with the feeling of beign lost and lonely....feeling angry with doctors, feeling angry with life. Scared for the future....

People I love..... countries.....jobs.......medication........dreams.......nightmares.....all of this is in muy head at the same time, moving fast......and I never can reach an answer of what do

Thanks again for reading me. It helps knowing someone is there....

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to pc

[Violet Blue]

Meeh - I am sorry for all that you've lost. I understand completely and have had a similar experience with loss and moving and just waking up one day and feeling like I fell down the rabbit hole where up is down.

Can you make lists? Start putting some of your thoughts down on paper. I know it sounds really lame and simple but you have to start somewhere and writing it down might help you keep track. Start very simple. Thinking about too much all at once might keep you stuck.

Just start with a basic life things to do list.
1. Today I will pay bills.
2. Tomorrow I will do laundry.

Then maybe you can start to slow things down. It sounds like things are swirling around and you can't grab hold of one thing. Try to slow your thinking down to one day at a time for now.

[Gus1234U]

here is a link to a thread on how to help yourself to cope with overwhelming emotions. i hope you find something in it that will be helpful to you ~

http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...whelming~.html

[Meeh]

Thanks for your advice.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me.
And thanks for the hugs and welcome.

How do you do to take a difficult decision where you are very doubtful?


How do you deal with big decisions?

[Meeh]

Sorry. I guess last questions should be posted in another forum

[JoyChaos]

when my mom passed this january i felt that way too. completely lost. oddly i miss her more as the time goes on. wish it was the opposite. just go about your day yknow. pick yourself up. thats all you really can do. cuz shes not here to tell you to do it. so pretend she is

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by Meeh

Thanks for your advice.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me.
And thanks for the hugs and welcome.

How do you do to take a difficult decision where you are very doubtful?


How do you deal with big decisions?

Meeh I m still going through the same feelings that u r going through . It takes six months to make major decisions after a loss . When.my mom died I went back to.my choir after only two weeks after she passed . I went back to.school six months after she past away . That was how long I was supposed to be out of choir after my mom.died . I.was strong enough to.come back.to.choir after my mom..died . When.my dad died two.years ago today I sang w my choir the Sunday after my dad died my choir family helped me through those rough periods in my life after I.lost both of my parents. It takes time meeh at least six months .

[Meeh]

So this is where I am now......
This has been the first Christmas without my parents and grandparents, In september my only grandmother passed away (4 months after my mothers death).
Jobs market is terrible at the moment in my country but I had the opportunity to work over this holiday period in another town. I only spent Xmas eve with my brother but the rest of time I was on my own..... It has been really tough and it looks reading other posts that this feeling never fade away
We inherited my mother house and it has really huge bills and taxes (Local government its nuts in this). My siblings and I are really struggling.... House market its so bad Im not sure we can sell hte house even for half price....

I would like to be mature enough to keep on going. I feel Im getting weaker as time pass. I feel the future is black. I am suposed to start a new life..... but the pain is big, the house is a big problem, and economy will force to me to move again.....dunno where, Im still thinking in the guy that was my bf and in our plans and my head is unable to think in a plan b. I know, it sounds stupid, but I keep holding to this idea

Thanks for writting some lines to support me sping2014, Joychaos, Gus 1234U, Violet Blue, Fuzzybear and Gayleggg.

I hope the best for all of you and for anybody that is struggling in life