[DocJohn]

Hi folks,

This was suggested by some members, and it's a helpful addition I think to many online communities. We all have to suffer through the loss of a loved one in our lives, whether it be through death, divorce, leaving or for some other reason. The grief that accompanies such loss is usually directly correlated with how significant that person was in our lives.

I highly recommend two books under this subject:
The Grief Recovery Handbook:
The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death Divorce, and Other Losses

John W. James
The Grief Recovery Handbook offers grievers the specific actions needed to complete the grieving process and accept loss. For those ready to regain a sense of aliveness, the principles outlined in this book make this a life-changing handbook and helpful to many.[*]

On Death and Dying
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
In this remarkable book, Dr. Kübler-Ross first explored the now-famous five stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives the reader a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient's family, bringing hope to all who are involved.[/list]May your grief be short and may you learn to move beyond the grieving and into the healing and acceptance stages of loss.

Take care,
DocJohn

[darkeyes]

Thanks

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[georgie_mom]

how can i live when my daughter is with the angels now?

[Logden]

(((Trish))) And I'd like to recommend another book...

Tear Soup

[bebop]

georgie it is difficult to say the least. I lost my granddaughter when she was 13 weeks old. she was my world and I thought I would die right with her. it takes alot of time. how long has it been hon?

[mamaof667]

I don't believe in the five stages of grief, I feel angry, I want my son back and yes I am depressed or is it just a normal reaction to losing my precious boy. I am sad, I have nothing to live for, my husband and I just survive each day, there is nothing like losing a child, even if he was 27, we have lost our future and reason to live.

[peej]

I read a few books on loss and grieving, including those the Dr. quoted. Unfortunately I can no longer read more than a paragraph in a book. I had some brain damage from a bad accident in 2002. There aren't any talking books in my city.

[peej]

I double checked on the talking books but there aren't any titles I need.
tcfn

[hawney1111]

i know how you feel i lost my son at age 28,its so hard to go on day to day but i know its what he would have wanted,i also have 2 daughters and a granddaughter and 1 on the way these are the only things keeping me going right now,just try to find something to hold on to,that will help alot

[lostmysoulmate]

it has been a year this past june i lost my husband to cancer he was my best friend an i just feel lost without him i just feel like im going on like a robot thats been programed to do the daily things going on.
22 years of bliss an now nothing yes i have my memories but thats not hugging me loving me or comforting me im just sad all the time.

missing my soulmate

[marianela]

hi, i lost my mother to cancer in 2005, and the hurt and sadness has gotten a little bit better, what really angers me is that i just found out that my fathers been seeing a woman for more than two and a half years ago, and he's hiding it from everyone in my family, he says i shouldnt but in and to leave him alone, but he told me not to tell anyone. so i don't know what i should do. it wasnt even a year since she passed away when he started seeing this other woman.i dont understand how he could do that so soon.

[Susan Renee]

My Mother passed away May 22, and, its been so hard dealing with the loss of my mom she's not only mom but my best friend. Ilove her so much and miss her deeply, I know shes with god but I still grieve her, Is that wrong ? my mom had died from cancer,and I still wish she was here,although she was in severe pain, and I feel I,m being selfish for wanting her back. Its very hard going thru this.could someone give me advice on how to get thru the loss of a parent. Thank You!

[sweetlovinglady]

Hi, How are you doing today ? I'm fine, just worried about a friend of mine. I'm 29 years old and live in Northern Wisconsin in need of some help. I'm new to these type of forums so please if this message does not make any sense please talk to me and I can explain better what I need for my friend. I joined this website to try and find a supportive place for a friend of mine ( her first name is Joanna ) that recently lost her grandpa and her father and she is taking these 2 trauma's in her life very hard. Thank you for your time............ sincerely, sweetlovinglady

[bebop]

welcome. please feel free to post to the main grief forum here. many of us here have lost people very close to us. again welcome.

[dalescooter]

When you lose a child, you lose a piece of your heart. No matter what they say, you never get over the loss, you just learn to live with it.

[LOVELYLADY1]

Originally Posted by georgie_mom

how can i live when my daughter is with the angels now?

Georgie_mom please believe that she is with you even so you can't see her, hear her or even smell her. She is in your memory forever and in your heart. The love that people have for us stays with us and are love for them goes with them, I really believe that; it keep me going and I lost lots of love ones and I still have my days when I want to give up but their love keeps me going strong . Just always remember the good times and some of the times to because that part of life to ; the bad times. But "GOD" never gives us more then we can handle, you see i'm still here; just take one day at a time. You have a bless day and try to remember the love inside of you is the same love inside of her.

[LOVELYLADY1]

Originally Posted by georgie_mom

how can i live when my daughter is with the angels now?

MANY, MANY HEART FILLED HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GOD HAS A VERY PRETTY LOVING ANGEL AND YOU DO TOO. I CAN ALMOST FEEL YOUR PAIN, EVEN SO I HAD NEVER LOST A CHILD; I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY CHILDREN. BUT I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LOSE LOVE ONES, I LOST ENOUGH OF THEM. IT MAKES YOU FEEL EMPTY INSIDE AND LONELY AND EVEN MAKES YOU QUESTION GOD, BUT ITS TRUE; THAT TIME WILL HEAL YOU, BUT IT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU . BUT PLEASE BE STRONG AND GO ON BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU AND YOU NEED THEM; ITS HARD BUT YOU CAN DO. IF YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN TO HER YOU CAN , AND YOU HAVE A EAR FROM ME ALWAYS. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS; MAY GOD KEEP YOU STRONG.

[jessesgirl]

I recently got news that my 21 yr. old sons girlfriend died on 5-29-09. She lived with us for 2 yrs, and I am in shock over this and trying to deal with it. We dont really know how she died yet, only that she was found blue, and we are not even sure of the funeral date yet. I loved her like a daughter and we were very close. She was only 21, so young and so beautiful, a gitfed girl in many, many ways. I must hang in there for the sake of my son, any suggetions will help. jessesgirl...

[jacksnuz]

Originally Posted by georgie_mom

how can i live when my daughter is with the angels now?

my son died on 8.28.09. he was 23, extremely intelligent, lacked some social skills which gave him great anxiety. he graduated this past may from reed college, portlamd or and had just started the doctoral work at a of missouri the week he died. the cause of death was accidental overdose.

i tried to wake him to go to bedroom to sleep, he was on couch. i am very experienced in hospice and recognized he was in rigor when i touched his cold skin. he and i always assumed we live together as we were very good friends. the loss you described instantly came to me as i called family and 911. that thought is haunting me and i must go to extremes to stay busy with something. but i cant even keep attention and have lots of stuff in process. my john john had been basicaly shunned by all family, for arguably just cause. it was just john and me, like always.

sorry to babble...my prayers are with you. peace, chris from missouri

[joanneireson]

i am the same. I lost my soulmate in February and feel sad all the time. 10 years with him, and left with two young children. I too am sad all the time. Does the pain ever go away? I don't think so....you just learn to live with it.

[babydoll233]

I am so very sorry... I lost my dad last week and that is hard enough... I will pray for you and pray you gain the strength to go on... i cant imagine your pain, I am really sorry.

[lt09]

Originally Posted by georgie_mom

how can i live when my daughter is with the angels now?

I have the same question. My son died in a motorcycle accident in April 2008 at 22 - and I am barely alive.....

[Twyllasue]

I am glad that I found this site. I am dealing with alot of grief. I lost my grandma in 04, my Mother to breast cancer in 06, my grandmother was murdered in 07, and I just recently lost my daddy to liver cancer June 15, 2009. It's like I haven't had time to grieve one thing before another hit, then another, then another. I hope that I can find support here. Thank You.
Twylla

[katrineme7]

Well, Hi, and I am also dealing with grief and loss but at least I am no longer absolutely alone with this as now, finally, my doctors and family and friends who have been treating me badly and like i was psychotic, and senstionalistic and attention seeking, also know the truth. (I can survive pretty much anything but it's hard when you are alone with the truth)

So anyway, I am dying and have no more than 6 months to live. cancer throughout my brain, my blood, lungs, lymph nodes, skin, everywhere. i am having daily emergency radiation to all of my brain daily just to save it for the moment.

I have younger kids still and that is very hard. it's really hard for family and friends but mostly my kids. I am not a selfish whining self absorbed person, but anyway, i hope it's OK I shared this. i am 51.

KAT

And i don't know if I did this right or took someone else's post over, and if i did I did not mean to.

[katrineme7]

I surely felt as unwelcome as anyone else would also feel in my position. Don't worry though. maybe I interrupted, or maybe I interfered, I am not always perfectly understanding of how these forums work.

But more than anything, I really don't need you people anyway; I just wanted to share but help? No, I do not need help, for sure, from you.

Everything i could say in praise of my relationships and family and friends and helpers and medical staff, etc, would sound too exaggerated and too good, so I won't rub it in. Kat, and best to you