[dadlidog]

i am curious to know if I have a problem. My father died recently (few days ago) and not only have I not shed a tear. I don't have any feelings of sadness, longing. In fact I am functioning as normal. the same thing happened with my grandparents (his parents with whom I was very close). Why I am concerned is because we had a wonderful relationship, spoke often and I even try as best to pattern my life after his. In short, I have always felt that I had the best dad in the world. So if I was this close to him, why am I not breaking down like my sister, or his best friend did or even my wife, his daughter in law? What's wrong with me? In fact my Mom APPEARS also to be handling it like me. They have been married for 50 years last month.

What is NORMAL for grieving? Is there a set pattern? No there is not. Everyone grieves differently. When my brother died and I was told I wailed in the house for about an hour. Then i didn't cry again until they wheeled the casket out of the church. I have not cried since. I think of him often, i relive all the childhood memories of sibling stuff we got into. But they are memories. My DAD did not cry once when he got the call of my brothers death. He was decapitated on a 4 wheeler. He never cried once, ever of his dying. Yet he internalized it deeply. You cannot go by appearances. You can only grieve rightly for what works for you and never mind how others may percieve you for no two people ever grieve alike. tc

[Cat_Lover_58]

I agree, we all grieve at our own pace & time. I wasn't very sad when my maternal grandma passed on. She wasn't the nicest of grandmas. I grieve privately for the most part. I too, feel things deeply. There is no one way.

Cat