I hurt my daughter's heart with my actions...she is so hurt...fear I've lost her

After her first year of college away...she came home for summer...my husband planned and attempted to murder me..left me bloody and unrecognizable...she came home and found me...saved my life.

I learned to walk and talk again...husband is in jail for attempted murder...I was on over 12 prescription pills for traumatic brain injury, back surgery, etc...and began to drink to cope with pain and ptsd....

she did not go back to college in the fall and stayed with me ....she went to college locally....and I lost everything...the house, etc....and lived in a garage of my brother....my daughter rented a house as she went to school full time and worked full time....moved me in...

I began working a little to help out....it was too much loss ....I tried to kill myself with overdosing and went into the hospital for over a week....she could not handle it...understandably....that broke my heart that I was not stronger to be her mom...she became the parent...and she gave me an ultimatum to go into treatment or we were done....I drove home and got a dui (my first ticket ever in my life...)....that was it

she confronted me and I was so sad and hurt and in despair....at the lose of my home with her....not being strong enough to cope.....losing her love and respect...losing everything....I just drank.....and then she and I got into a fight and I said some really aweful things.....

.....it was 8 months ago....she is so hurt....we were so close.....this brutal attack changed her world ....she lost her mom that she knew...she got my mean spirit.....she is done with me and my selfishness.....I send cards...I cleaned up my system from everything....8 months of unconditional support when she locks herself out of her apartment, loses her phone, needs support....but on Christmas ....she came to my home with nothing...no card...nothing...she was in a state of contempt.....(I have a steady job, a new place, and nice roomate, and am very healthy and etc)

..I could not stop crying when there was not even a card...she was so full of contempt and really just said....she lost all these years....and Look At Her....

she said she was done...and left....she will not have anything to do with me...I am in such despair...Ive had such a great relationship with her and now it is so damaged....she is so hurt....

I am in great grief of the loss of her and I ...and I can not go back in time to change anything...

....I want my daughter back....I want to love her unconditionally....I will do whatever it takes!! Open to any and all input.....I want this to heal for her...

I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss. The only thing I can offer is that the very best thing you can do is continue to focus on your own health, healing and well-being. Make sure she knows (when she gives you the opportunity) that you are there for her. I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling over your daughter's rejection of you. Hopefully things even out in time.

Hi Aspirealoha,

I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. My college age twin girls up and left, or started to pack, last Tuesday, a few days before Christmas. Long story short, I let them down in a big way. I was trying to protect them, but as they told me, I should have been up front with them.

I've worked part-time at the same job for almost 3.5 years. It's never enough to get rent and utilities paid. The car payment/repairs was eating me alive.

I had problems with the car, couldn't drive to work and so I resigned. My boss would take me back in a minute, but the drive is almost 20 miles. So...

I had more going out than coming in, and now it's even worse. The landlord was ready to evict us and that was the biggest reason the girls left. I was keeping it quiet that the rent was almost 2 months behind. Lesson learned!

I know our circumstances are not the same, but the feelings of grief and loss are. I think she'll come around. I see my kids and they understand but still are leery, this just happened after all. They've moved back to their dad and stepmom's house close by.

I paid the rent today. They gave me the rent money so I could stay a bit. I am looking into lower cost housing. It's a mess, but I'll make it through. You will too. Just put one foot in front of the other and take good care of yourself.

Hugs, Cat

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. It is of comfort to know as we come from a place of love and not a victim .....the girls will eventually see and trust that the mom they knew and trusted is coming from strong love for them.

I'm so proud of your continued next step ...next breath....next right action towards resolution....it shows our girls that they will be resilient too. It shows them what they are made of since we are there mother. We mirror to them the gift of strong...kind...grace filled love....

Not in expectation of anything....and not out of fear that we need their love.....from the universal law of love from our divine self!!

I'm blessed to hear from you!

Thank you for your gift of support and grace filled care. Your wise words to let her know I am here...healthy---strong---loving---and here to help guide her healing ....and to mentor that resilience is what she has too. Thank you for reminding me that when she gives the opportunity to give the reassurance !!