[shakespeare47]

An acquaintance of mine was killed in a senseless way last night... She was in her 30's and left behind 2 young girls. It's reminded me of the people I have lost.

A 2 week old daughter in 2006.
All 4 of my grandparents.
3 uncles, 1 aunt.
Several great-aunts and great-uncles.
A cousin who was in his 20's - we were only a week apart in age, he lived nearby and we did a lot together over the years.

[Pikku Myy]

Too many sweetie <3

too many to count...dozens.

[Raindropvampire]

Between family and friends over 100. Making a list would hurt too much.

[lizardlady]

Everyone.

[Travelinglady]

Most of my aunts and uncles, my dad, all four grandparents, several dear friends

[junkDNA]

my grandfather to suicide when i was 6 or 7, my dad to cancer when i was 10, my dads parents (late teens and early 20s) my grandmother i was closest to last year

plus around 9 or 10 people from suicide that i knew from a treatment program i was in for a long time

and others i knew in school growing up

[bounceback]

My mom, my dad, many aunts, many uncles, a couple of cousins, many family pets, grandparents, friends. Too many

[nonightowl]

Too many to think about, and as you know, I might lose yet another person....but in some ways I never "had" her since we were never close.........

I've experienced losses that were not a result of death. For me, it's still loss and I feel it every single second of every day: My best friend, also an old boyfriend, lost his job a couple of years ago. That resulted in him losing his apartment of course, so he & his cats (which I was attached to) had to move out of state to go live with relatives. He hates it there.

I've also lost good neighbors, both to death and to the moving process. My building has a high-turnover, and there's only a handful of us long time tenants left, the only neighbors I know except for my former next door ones.

Although I now have a new & nice (it seems) next door neighbor, I don't run into her a lot so I don't have the neighborly dynamic I miss with that nice couple I had.

And last week, these people who were in the building even longer than me are now gone. I ran into the son, who's a bit younger than me, and he told me his parents passed. His dad over a year ago, and the mom recently. I used to run into and talk to the dad a lot. He was a nice old guy, so I'll miss him.

Those people were a source of "continuity" or "a constant" in my otherwise disruptive life. (I get so many curveballs, disruptions, and disappointments that I cling to whatever "constant" I have)

A few years ago I lost a friend at the gym to lung cancer.

I've also lost 4 legged friends (cats) of which I've had even stronger bonds with than any human (with one exception).

Been getting way too much loss and not enough gains, not enough new people in my life. I'm not saying people are replacable, because they are NOT, but it wouldn't be so painful if I had more "life" in my so-called life.

I also think American culture is in denial about aging, death , and loss. Unlike some European countries, we don't even have employers giving REQUIRED bereavement leave, or leave to take care of a new born or sick children or parents. We just work, work, work, work. You don't (or are not supposed to) get sick, die, nor is anyone else in your life.

I know this is a bit off topic, but I think we live in a sick culture: Very pragmatic and consumption driven. Except when there's shootings like the most recent one at Orlando, this country is in denial about it. And the U.S. is the only country with these mass shootings, go figure?

It's even more frightening to me how they go after "soft" targets like clubs and malls. It's proof it can happen to anyone, anywhere. Just because one is young does not mean one will outlive an older person---this even proves that.

Somewhat unrelated, I've "lost" friends that I thought were my friends when they just stopped talking to me. I know nothing happened to them because they still talk to mutual acquaintances. They just abandoned ME. So I've "lost" friends I never really "had".

Sorry to go on my rant but I feel so strongly about this. There's been too many shootings lately, too much coverage of it, and too much for me as I think back on my own losses.

[nonightowl]

I also lost someone here on PC, which is usually a lifeline or safety net for me, and it still is pretty much in spite of this.......

I corresponded with her for YEARS, and we had quite a bond or connection. Even though I didn't know what she looked like and never spoke to her, there's still this connection. I know I'll "find" her one day even though I don't know what she looks/looked like!

One day I got a message from a relative that she was in an accident. At first I thought someone was playing a cruel joke on me, saying she was in a freak accident and they couldn't revive her. WTF? Who sent this? This isn't funny.

I think of her every day, esp. how much she would be able to relate to so much of what I'm going through now. And she'd understand, sympathize, and empathize.

[nonightowl]

I just "lost" another neighbor. Not by death but she moved out. She was in the building longer than me, so she was a "constant" in my life. She also parked next to me.

Now I don't know who's going to park there.

All these losses makes me cling to what little constants I still have like a life jacket.

Sorry for your losses Shakespeare, that's a heavy load.

I have lost my grandparents, a few dear friends who were old and sick, nothing compared to you.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Sorry for your losses Shakespeare, that's a heavy load.

I have lost my grandparents, a few dear friends who were old and sick, nothing compared to you.

Please never say that.

You had a loss too, period. Yours is no less painful than anyone else's, no matter how many you lost vs. how many they did. Comparisons aren't right I think. Loss is loss.....

I've also had what I feel is a heavy load of loss.

[88Butterfly88]

A piece of myself when I was abused.

3 of my 4 grandparents.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

My dad is the only person I've really lost - I've been reading a bit about "fatherless daughters" lately, and have been rather surprised by how familiar some of the common reactions are.

With many others, it's more a matter of them not being in my life to begin with. A lot of people here mention grandparents: three of mine were dead before my parents even met; my grandmother died last year, but we weren't close at all, so it didn't affect me. I don't have much in the way of connections with other members of my family either. And you can't lose friends you don't have, so I've been pretty insulated from that. I've had one failed relationship which felt like a loss, otherwise I guess I've been pretty lucky.

[Yours_Truly]

My mom & dad. My mom was my best friend.

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Sorry for your losses Shakespeare, that's a heavy load.

I have lost my grandparents, a few dear friends who were old and sick, nothing compared to you.

I don't think it's possible to compare losses. But..... I do wonder if my personal loss of an infant daughter was less, though. It's sad because we never got to know her, but we also didn't make a lot of memories with her.

The loss of my cousin hurt because he had his whole life ahead of him... And he was just doing stupid stuff. It can be hard to process these losses...

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I don't think it's possible to compare losses. But..... I do wonder if my personal loss of an infant daughter was less, though. It's sad because we never got to know her, but we also didn't make a lot of memories with her.

The loss of my cousin hurt because he had his whole life ahead of him... And he was just doing stupid stuff. It can be hard to process these losses...

I think Owl is right, not less, just different.

Sorry for your losses