1st post, desperate, caregiver has passed away

Hello, I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to post this but I'm honestly completely lost. I'm 25 years old, but currently completely disabled as my mental health keeps deteriorating. Severe dissociation, delusions (formerly very, very major) and minor hallucinations under control now (thankfully) major anxiety and depression (mostly related to my DPD possibly) anorexia purgative subtype (currently weighing 36 kg) attempted suicide earlier this year cause I couldn't bear living this way any more. Long story short, cause I'm honestly too shaky to even type right now, my father who is one of my 2 primary caretakers (along with my mother) passed away suddenly this past Tuesday. Frantically searching around the net I've found a million things about what happens when ill people pass away, and what happens to the caregiver, but nothing about what happens when your caregiver passes away. How does one survive this. barely 2 months ago he carried me after I ran into a wall (God knows how many times) and lost my sight and hearing. He drove me to the psychiatric hospital emergencies countless times, for anxiety attacks, or when I flat out needed to be sedated. I remember one of the last times, I told him I felt my brain dying, it was around 4 am and I hadn't slept in 2 days. How.... how do we go from here. My mother doesn't work. I can't work. My father was our sole provider, and my biggest support, he was the only one who never made me feel like a burden because of my condition. I don't know how to go from here. Mom is considering hospitalization for me, stat. Doctor agrees. This is probably the best option, but... I don't know. She probably can't bear with me right now, as mucj as she loves me, she's only human. I can't sleep cause the last image I have of my father was not pleasant to say the least.

Please help, any advice, experience, anything

Hello MissMJ1: I'm sorry you find yourself to be in such a difficult situation. I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer in the way of suggestions, particularly since I don't know what may or may not be available to you where you live. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will be able to offer some helpful suggestions.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

I so sorry about the loss of your father.