[Akane]

I know that most young kids can't fully understand the concept of death and dying, especially when they have never experienced it before. But I never thought my child would treat it so lightly not even when he's young. One example is: earlier today he said about his pet fish that he wanted to just flush it down the toilet so that we could get a new prettier looking one. I explained to him as best as I could that death is a serious and sad thing and that flushing the fish down the toilet would not only be very mean but very sad because it would mean the fish would die. He then said "let's kill it then and get a new one" I again tried to explain that it is not a nice thing to talk or think like that and tried to explain in a kid friendly way what death means and he didn't seem to understand and is not taking it seriously and continues to say these insensitive things. Does anyone have any suggestions of better ways I can try to explain it to him if/when it comes up again? I don't want to make him sad but I also want him to stop taking the subject so lightly. Or should I just ignore these comments altogether until he's older? I know it's normal to not understand at his age but is it normal to basically treat it like it's no big deal at all?

[*Laurie*]

Hi Akane, I would entirely ignore his comments and not give him lots of emotional attention about them. I would not try to explain any more than you have. If he says something like, 'Let's kill the goldfish', just reply with, 'No. That would not be the right thing to do.' And immediately divert his attention elsewhere, to something positive and age-appropriate.

The reason I'm suggesting this is because I have the feeling that, at his very young age, he is kind of liking the response he gets from you when he talks about death and such. I agree- I don't think he has the least concept of what death really is, but he does understand that it's fun to get Mom riled up.

four year olds dont really understand the concept that death is permanent. i wouldnt worry about it.

[Artchic528]

4 year olds shouldn't have pets because of this reason, they don't understand yet, the fragility of life.

[Akane]

This was the first and only time he's ever said anything like this and I was just a little shocked when it first happened especially because he usually loves his fish. I took everyone's advice and just ignored it and it hasn't come up again. I want to add that his pet fish is kept out of his reach and if it was up to me I would not have let him have a pet fish so young. His Aunt gave it to him for his birthday.