[PrincessKitty]

So a years ago I found out I'm half Chinese and half English.

I knew I was different because when I was child I always got picked on when I was a kid lbecause I looked different and not English.
the family always blamed me for ruining the family because I was born.

I found out through my mum when I was skyping her when visited my boyfriend in America. She said his name is lee and I knew him in the Chinese shop where I lived because I always go there for Chinese.

Also my adopted dad (before he died) had a huge argument with Lee when I was 9 about him not telling the truth and he's a coward. I was only 9 and I never really understood why.

I went into the shop asking for lee and he wasn't there because it was his day off. So I wrote down my details so he can contact me. The staff saw my name and asked "are you looking for your papa" I freaked out and left.
He did get in touch but we couldn't talk because my mother and lee had a huge argument.

Fast forward months later I left the home due to serious problems and I was living in the refuge. I wrote him a letter and poured my heart out to him.
Didn't respond and a few months later I sent him another one and we finally met up. The conversation didn't last long and he gave me money to go home.

Since then we have been in touch for two years or maybe more through whatsapp. It was like hi how are you doing sort of thing and being very vaige about himself and he even once shouted at me down the phone when I asked him how was his day and told me off for speaking to my fiends that I'm half Chinese.
Last week asked me for weed, so I thought this can't be lee who I'm talking too. You don't ask that to your daughter. So I thought the number was fake and then I found him on Facebook three days ago and he added me back.
Naturally I asked his friends if his account was real and it was.

One of the ex coworkers told me that he cheats on his wife and he had a secret daugher. I told her that was me.
After that lee just removed me off Facebook and blocked me off whatsapp. he just ignored me and avoided me.

I asked my mother about that lee cheated on his wife and she cheated on her husband (at the time) and had a one nightstand. as the result I was born.
She admitted it and so did the whole family.

I'm so hurt and I don't know what to do. I got rejected by both of my biological parents because of their mistake.
The only father I had got murdered and I feel so alone. I have my boyfriend and my friends. But it's not the same as having a parent.

[Maven]

I'm so sorry. People can be so unfair and cruel. You are not bad, or worthless or wrong, no matter what anyone says. You're not wrong for asking questions about you and your biological father. It's natural. Remember, in your heart, who you truly are: A worthwhile person who deserves the best in life, and other people's cruelty says nothing about who you are.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, PrincessKitty, and welcome to Psych Central! I'm so sorry, sweetie. As Maven says, that doesn't say anything bad about you. You are here, and it's his loss.

[PrincessKitty]

Originally Posted by Maven

I'm so sorry. People can be so unfair and cruel. You are not bad, or worthless or wrong, no matter what anyone says. You're not wrong for asking questions about you and your biological father. It's natural. Remember, in your heart, who you truly are: A worthwhile person who deserves the best in life, and other people's cruelty says nothing about who you are.

Awhh thank you. That means so much

[PrincessKitty]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Hi, PrincessKitty, and welcome to Psych Central! I'm so sorry, sweetie. As Maven says, that doesn't say anything bad about you. You are here, and it's his loss.

Thank you. It helps a lot

[Fuzzybear]

[CANDC]

I am sorry you have felt so much suffering within your life. It must not be easy dealing with all that uncertainty. You have been through a lot but someday that may make you a wiser parent after what you have been through.

Hope you find some joy in your life. Everyone has a gift waiting to be discovered inside themselves.

[Bill3]

I'm so sorry.

[Karmachameleon808]

At least you got to know your real father, and it would have satisfied your curiosity as to where your from. You must be disappointed that he is not who you hoped he would be. So the problem is him and not you.
I fell out with my real dad when I was 16. Then people persuaded me to talk to him again because he only went back out to work as I pushed him, unintentionally I may add. My mum never gave me a penny of the maintenance he paid and he was abhorred. My parents I stayed with were so very selfish. But anyway I fell unwell and all of a sudden he was the one who supposedly cut ties with me, but I did not care I was through.
My mum told everyone that he wouldn't talk to me because I now had "something wrong with me." This was not wholly accurate but people lapped it up.