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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 327
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#1
Hey..
So about 18 months ago, I lost one of my closest friends suddenly to an aircraft accident. He was one of maybe 3 people who I’ve ever had in my life who I’ve actually felt completely comfortable with so his passing was a difficult one to say the least. As to be expected I guess, there are still days where I really struggle, but I am generally at peace with it... It’s his birthday next weekend. I moved away from my hometown 12 months ago, but I will be visiting home on his birthday. Initially I thought that it was perfect timing as I could visit a place that brings back a very nice memory with him. But the thing is, I don’t have a lot of time while I’m in town. I keep putting off catching up with my other friends, so I think maybe I should spend time with them instead of revisiting an old memory - again.. I don’t know, I don’t think I’m really looking for an answer. I really want to be with him on his birthday. But maybe this is a good opportunity to move forward a little bit more. As with all of the ‘special occasions’, this time of year certain flares up the sadness.. - AP |
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88Butterfly88, Anonymous44076, Anonymous55879, CANDC, nonightowl, Trace14, Travelinglady
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nonightowl
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#2
Quote:
Whenever I return home, I never do all the things (especially in regards to seeing friends) I had hoped to do. Try to be realistic but gentle on yourself. If you don't do all that you intended--that's OK. I have always found visiting the place that brings back happy memories more profound than other ways we remember people. However, do what moves you and go easy on yourself if you find yourself not ready or to busy to go through with it. |
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20oney, Trace14
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20oney, nonightowl
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#3
I came across this quote and I think it's a nice quote my father recently passed away and now my mother is close to passing away and I have been struggling with grief myself:
Grief never ends, but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love. |
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20oney, Anonymous55879, nonightowl
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20oney, Calypso2632, nonightowl
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#4
Hello AP. I am so sorry that you lost your dear friend. Perhaps you could just wait until you get back to your home town to make the decision. That day, your spirit will guide you one way or another. You'll know what to do. There is always more than one way to honor someone.
I wish you peace, solace, and a bright future. |
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20oney, Anonymous55879
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20oney
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,065
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#5
I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to lose dear friends.
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,213
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#6
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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#7
Quote:
Maybe it is not important where you do the memorial. It could be right where you are. I think those we are close to feel our concern and caring. What better way to express thanks for that relationship than to express gratitude for what you shared together. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 9,355
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#8
Quote:
I lost a good friend suddenly 3 years ago, almost. And they didn't even know from WHAT. He just suddenly collapsed and never woke up. Due to religious reasons, no autopsy was done. He was one of VERY few people I could say anything to, without judgement at all. Anniversary of his death and his birthday are the hardest. I got to meet his parents by chance, at his grave. So now I have someone to share that loss with, even if it's obviously not the same relationship. I mean, I get some solace from that. I do eat cake on his birthday, and I've visited his grave when I can. I even raised h e l l over the condition of it once, as there was all this mud on it when the others around it were in better condition. I said it looks like nobody is even buried there! I don't tell people what to do, as I hate it when people do it to me. I follow my gut or heart, doing what I FEEL I want to do. After going to a couple of grief groups, I remember what I heard in them: There is no "right" way or "supposed" to, no time table, no linear process. It's okay NOT to cry, not to feel or to even not know what one feels. __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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20oney
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