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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 891
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Nov 16, 2018 at 12:10 PM
#1
My father died 10 years ago on Thanksgiving. I can't seem to get past it. My grief grows years by year. I wish I was with him, even though he hated me.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Nov 17, 2018 at 07:01 PM
#2
I'm sorry you are struggling with this.
 Are you familiar with the concept of complicated grief? Here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject including a quiz you can take to determine if you may be experiencing complicated grief:What is Complicated Grief? | Mental Health Awareness Complicated Grief Requires Attention Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck | Bonding Time New Insights on Grief Recovery Grief and Loss Quiz My best wishes to you... 
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,981
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Nov 17, 2018 at 11:26 PM
#3
I'm so sorry, Calla lily. Sounds like you feel you had unfinished business with him, such as getting him to love you.
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Super Moderator
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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Nov 26, 2018 at 02:02 PM
#4
Quote:
My dad died two years ago and for the first year the grief got worse until I started reinventing who I think I am. I am no longer my father's son. I do not have to try to live up to his expectations anymore or try to get him to understand me. I am a different person now because I keep trying to focus on new things. The grief and sadness is still there but I have written letters to him telling him I have to move on with my life. It seemed to help me go a step further toward healing. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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