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Member Since Jan 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 8
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#1
We were childhood friends, and became friends since he died one week ago.
He was from abroad, we weren't as close as we were as kids, but I admired our friendship and since I became weird awkward quiet adult, he still accepted me as his friend. A week has passed since he died at the age of 30 in a house fire and I still can't stop thinking about him. I feel different reactions senses of calm followed by tears anger at those responsible for the fire and their carelessness. I have thoughts of the fire even though I wasn't there, how he could be saved or was saved. I imagine the things I wish to tell him. I imagine him still being alive. Letting go gives me the same crippling feeling when I first found out he died. Sadness, depression and wishing he could come back. I find it unfair for him, he had his life ahead of him, wished we had more time... I feel regret! I regret I became shy and awkward through the years. I really hate myself for it, the missed opportunities. I regret not communicating with him these past 2 years because I was stuck in my own little life crisis. I regret I spent most of our adult friendship chatting rather than making real memories. I regret I didn't go last year over there, see him one more time. I don't know if he'd feel the same as me, but I feel like this about him. And often want to cry. Missing him.... the thought I will never see him again hurts so much. I know, I am meant to man up or grow up and let go by now.....but it's so hard.... I feel sad, I feel butterflies in my chest since then, shocked, I can't stop thinking about him, his name and his face is always on my mind. And I play storylines in my brain. I do try and get on with my life, but my mind does sometimes drift off to him. |
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88Butterfly88, Goforward, Skeezyks
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#2
My condolences on the loss of your friend. Here are links to 3 articles on the subject of grief & loss from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:
On Grief, Loss and Coping Healthy Ways to Navigate Your Grief What My Dog Taught Me about Grief and Loss My best wishes to you... __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
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#3
How perfectly tragic. My deepest sympathy and condolences. I don’t think you can help having memories rushing at you. That pretty much happens with awful traumas like this. ❤️😢❤️
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
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#4
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Greensboro NC
Posts: 52
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#5
I lost my best friend of 20 years 3 months ago. I miss him most of the day everyday. The pain is excruciating
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Super Moderator
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Location: Northeast USA New England
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#6
Hi FearandLoathing40. I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Any loss can be traumatic but a friend can seem like family to us, maybe even closer.
If you care to read these articles, they help me find ways to cope with loss. Coping with Grief and Loss - Psych Central On Grief, Loss and Coping Grief and Loss Resources | Psych Central Welcome to Psych Central. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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FearandLoathing40
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