[zapatoes]

It’s been 1 year since my dad passed away from heart failure or heart attack. He had been going through treatment for stage 4 cancer when he passed away. Read that it can be good for family members to meet and discuss favorite memories of person who passed away and expect some crying and laughing too.

Thank you for sharing your truth Zapatoes. I am sorry you lost your father Universal speed to him.

I really like your idea of sharing favorite memories of your father with family members. That sounds cathartic. Grief can indeed unite people. Not always. But I have seen it occur in some families. May it happen for you! Take good care of yourself.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Thank you for sharing your truth Zapatoes. I am sorry you lost your father Universal speed to him.

I really like your idea of sharing favorite memories of your father with family members. That sounds cathartic. Grief can indeed unite people. Not always. But I have seen it occur in some families. May it happen for you! Take good care of yourself.

Thank you, we will have memorial service for him this summer and several relatives will be there. It will be a time for sharing memories of him.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by zapatoes

It’s been 1 year since my dad passed away from heart failure or heart attack. He had been going through treatment for stage 4 cancer when he passed away. Read that it can be good for family members to meet and discuss favorite memories of person who passed away and expect some crying and laughing too.

I don't know what it is about cancer these days. I lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer 2 1/2 years ago, and now my dad has cancer. I don't know what kind as he won't tell me. (It's important to know for own medical history, as doctors ask stuff like that---anyone in your family ever have _____?)

There's no discussing of memories with either him or my brother about mom. My brother isn't speaking to me. I've only shared some with members of a grief group. My dad got mad when I mentioned my mom, lashing out at me.

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Thank you for sharing your truth Zapatoes. I am sorry you lost your father Universal speed to him.

I really like your idea of sharing favorite memories of your father with family members. That sounds cathartic. Grief can indeed unite people. Not always. But I have seen it occur in some families. May it happen for you! Take good care of yourself.

Unfortunately, grief and/or death has made my disconnected, dysfunctional family even more so. My only consolation is to keep telling myself what my therapist once said: That it's not as unusual as I think or as our culture leads you to believe.

And there were a couple of people in the grief group I went to last year who had similar dynamics. I keep reminding myself of that. I was in touch with one of them but she quit responding to me.

Yes, do take care of yourself. It might help to keep in mind there's no "right" way to feel or grieve, that there's no time table, and it's not a linear process.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by zapatoes

Thank you, we will have memorial service for him this summer and several relatives will be there. It will be a time for sharing memories of him.

That is such a wonderful idea to memorialize his life. Hope it goes well.

My own dad died 2 years ago and every chance I get I try to get family to remember his humor by repeating some of his sayings. My mom really needs to laugh. she was bereft when he died.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by CANDC

That is such a wonderful idea to memorialize his life. Hope it goes well.

My own dad died 2 years ago and every chance I get I try to get family to remember his humor by repeating some of his sayings. My mom really needs to laugh. she was bereft when he died.

Sorry for the loss of your dad.

Thank you and that’s a great idea to remember your dad’s humor by repeating some of his sayings.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I don't know what it is about cancer these days. I lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer 2 1/2 years ago, and now my dad has cancer. I don't know what kind as he won't tell me. (It's important to know for own medical history, as doctors ask stuff like that---anyone in your family ever have _____?)

There's no discussing of memories with either him or my brother about mom. My brother isn't speaking to me. I've only shared some with members of a grief group. My dad got mad when I mentioned my mom, lashing out at me.


Unfortunately, grief and/or death has made my disconnected, dysfunctional family even more so. My only consolation is to keep telling myself what my therapist once said: That it's not as unusual as I think or as our culture leads you to believe.

And there were a couple of people in the grief group I went to last year who had similar dynamics. I keep reminding myself of that. I was in touch with one of them but she quit responding to me.

Yes, do take care of yourself. It might help to keep in mind there's no "right" way to feel or grieve, that there's no time table, and it's not a linear process.

Thank you and hope you can continue to find support as you go through your grief. Sorry to hear about your mom and your dad now diagnosed with cancer.

[CANDC]

Yes I have had to work hard to get by the bitterness but now that he is gone what is the sense of that. Now I am seeing and appreciating the highlights. It is sad that as humans we can be blinded by focusing on the negative until someone is gone. Only then remembering is bittersweet.

[MC1620]

Hello, sorry to hear about your loss. My father passed away last year from heart failure too. He was had cancer. Our stories are very similar. I know you are going through a tough time and I hope you are doing okay.