[shredder0288]

On Dec 12th 20018 I lost the one person with whom I had pinned all my hopes and dreams on, the one person I had been totally honest with since the beginning of our relationship, she made me become a better person to want to become better for her and to show her it's possible to do.
Sophia and I had a relationship some would say wouldn't work or wasn't right. She was 24 and I am 58 she was addicted to heroin when we met and I use meth. The first night we met we talked for hours about everything I thought it was unreal how this girl could seem so worldly at such a young age.

Possible trigger:

Anyway on Dec 12th a guy she had known shot and killed her and left her to die alone in a Costco parking lot at 3 am bleeding out in the cold.

He was sentenced a week ago to 31 years in prison. But that doesnt bring her back . I miss her tremendously . I feel like I did before her and I met directionless no purpose no joy or laughter just an existence that seems to have a future of loneliness and sadness ahead . Meeting other women holds no interest to me just makes me think of her more. The places I see remind me of her and the times her and I spent there, be they good, bad, or uneventful. It's been almost six months since she died and I still wake up crying, can't look at a picture of her without crying nor talk about her without crying, just writing this is extremely hard. I feel lost in this world without her

[88Butterfly88]

[Poiuytl]

I sympathize with you. Maybe one day it will help you to think that your love did not end in fight, hatred, violence between you and her - that it was somebody else who was to blame. No blame falls on you - you must deal with the sadness of loss, but never with guilt, nor humiliation. I hope that you can find peace one day in living with a memory of something beautiful, never soiled by either of you.

[TishaBuv]

I’m so sorry for your loss. That was an especially violent and tragic end of a young life.

So very sorry for your loss Shredder0288

Universal speed to Sophia. Her struggle with depression and heroin has ended....I wonder if that knowledge can bring you any solace?

I imagine you have been through hell with your meth addiction and I would assume depression was underlying that too. Would you consider speaking with a grief counselor or a therapist?

You are still here...still living. It is not yet your time to leave. You have options. There are folks out there to provide help if you seek it. You need not be entirely alone.

Peace and hope to you Shredder.

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry.