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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 375
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#1
My body is shaken up and I've been eating very light now because my stomach is hurting so much from the loss of my older brother. He committed suicide on the the 27th of this month. I had a horrible childhood and as did he. Our father molested us both at a very young age and he ended up taking his life because he couldn't deal with the pain any longer. Many years he's been putting on a brave face for everyone and acting as if he was okay, when he truly wasn't okay.
I feel like I'm re-living my entire childhood again now that this happened and I'm planning on going back to therapy. My mother is lost and my younger brother is devastated. My whole body is numb and shakes every so often anytime the memory comes up. I miss my brother so much and I feel as if I'm living in a dream. I'm in a dead like state right now which I'm sure is pretty normal. Wish I could say more, but I just can't.... Please move this topic or delete if this isn't allowed, I just can't keep this inside of me anymore... please understand. Thank you. |
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88Butterfly88, happysobercrafter, Nammu, Open Eyes, possum220, Skeezyks, TerryL, unaluna, Yzen, zapatoes
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
My condolences on your loss. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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happysobercrafter
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
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#3
Omg, I am so sorry to hear this! I wish there was something I could to for you and your family. I see you are in Florida; are you in the path of this storm?
__________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: usa
Posts: 1,490
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#4
oh i am so sorry about your brother and for the devastation you and your family are feeling. please post as often as you need. my deepest condolences.
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,298
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#5
I think therapy sounds like a good idea. I hope it is helpful for you. |
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,611
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#6
So sorry.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 375
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#7
Thank you for all the support! This means so much to me. I've been crying a lot this week and comforting my mother who is absolutely devastated.
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Yzen
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
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#8
oh no So sorry for your loss.
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,400
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#9
I am so sorry. Losing a brother is devastating. Suicide puts a very nasty sting in it's tail.
When it seems overwhelming remember to breathe. Therapy sounds like a very good idea. |
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Amethyst_Stargazer
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