Grieving over loss of my S.O. who died of cancer.

My partner of many years . . . the love of my life . . . died May 31 . . . at home in my arms. I had spent years caring for him.

At first I was very busy. I had episodes of intense mourning, but they got interrupted by all I had to do - traveling cross country with his body, etc. On June 22, I became almost hysterical with grief, sobbing uncontrollably and inconsolably . . . on the phone with a family member. I ended up being taken to an ER by a police officer, who was very nice. They sent me next day to a small psychiatric hospital. I was there 8 nights.

Now I'm home and doing pretty well at the moment. I kind of thought-block when I find myself starting to dwell on losing him. His passing was expected and came 2 years after cancer diagnosis. I knew I would mourn when he was gone. I did not anticipate how severe the emotional pain would be. By June 23rd, I did not want to live anymore.

Over the course of those 8 days, I went through an interior transformation. Staff were very nice to me. Fellow patients were very nice to me. Talking with each of them was like being thrown a series of life preservers.

So I feel reasonably okay right now. Can anyone relate to any of this?

My fear is that I might go down the rabbit hole again, sometime in the future, when some sentimental trigger - like the holiday season - gets me to feeling like I can't bear being without him. We had been a couple for a very long time.