advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
17Dar
New Member
 
17Dar's Avatar
17Dar has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Posts: 8
15 yr Member
Default Sep 13, 2020 at 09:35 PM
  #1
I lost my mom and my unborn baby at .6 weeks. Back in June. I think my body is finally wanting to grieve and I feel so alone!

I cry at night 😭. Christian music I used to enjoy brought me to absolute tears today.....I. Feel. So lost. I'm some stuff that I wish I could have mom to talk to,but she's gone and that makes it harder. I don't know what to do.
17Dar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous32451, Buffy01, CANDC, Crazy Hitch, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, Gasplessy, Open Eyes, possum220, Scienna, sky457, Travelinglady, Yzen
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01

advertisement
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 14, 2020 at 10:15 AM
  #2
I am so sorry. what a huge loss that was for you.

and a baby too, not even born.. I couldn't imagine it

if I ever had a baby (I don't plan too), that would be my worst nightmare

we are all here for you

pleas keep posting
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Travelinglady
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is feeling tired.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,786 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
22.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 14, 2020 at 03:05 PM
  #3
Hi, 17Dar. I'm so sorry to hear of your losses--especially so close together. I still miss my mother, although she was difficult to deal with.

We are here for you to talk to--although I know it's not quite the same. Do you go to a church where you can talk to the pastor and fellow parishioners?
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,324 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 15, 2020 at 03:55 PM
  #4
@17Dar welcome back to Psych Central. I am so sorry for your losses. That must be so rough to go through. Please feel free to reply to this post and keep telling us how you are doing.

These articles at this link may be of interest Coping with Grief | Psych Central

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,664 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 15, 2020 at 07:34 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17Dar View Post
I lost my mom and my unborn baby at .6 weeks. Back in June. I think my body is finally wanting to grieve and I feel so alone!

I cry at night 😭. Christian music I used to enjoy brought me to absolute tears today.....I. Feel. So lost. I'm some stuff that I wish I could have mom to talk to,but she's gone and that makes it harder. I don't know what to do.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Take time for yourself.
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Yzen
Magnate
 
Yzen's Avatar
Yzen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
5 yr Member
4,766 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 15, 2020 at 09:23 PM
  #6
So sorry for your losses. There are no words...tears are the words.
Yzen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,300 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 15, 2020 at 09:55 PM
  #7
I'm so sorry for your losses

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Scienna
Junior Member
Scienna has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: New York
Posts: 15
3 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Sep 22, 2020 at 11:41 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17Dar View Post
I lost my mom and my unborn baby at .6 weeks. Back in June. I think my body is finally wanting to grieve and I feel so alone!

I cry at night 😭. Christian music I used to enjoy brought me to absolute tears today.....I. Feel. So lost. I'm some stuff that I wish I could have mom to talk to,but she's gone and that makes it harder. I don't know what to do.

I can't imagine how much you must be hurting from such losses. I lost my mother years ago, and am still affected (I avoided and compartmentalized grieving). I suspect that it must still be very raw and fresh, and desperately devastating.

I know there is nothing I could say to really help ease the pain.

But, I can tell you about a few things I learned, that I wish someone had told me years ago...

It's okay to feel crazy, lost, forgetful, alone, to laugh, to cry, to rage--it's ALL normal, because if it's what you feel, it's what you NEED to feel.

The five stages of grief aren't real--at best they represent a spectrum of feelings that can happen at the same time, without order or logic.

There is NO "normal" time frame in which it's acceptable to grieve. People who haven't grieved, or who have but were forced to fit into some limited time to do so, have no idea that time isn't relevant when it comes to experiencing loss.

And after profound loss, there is no real "getting over it". That doesn't exist. There is the process of somehow getting through and out of the deepest angsts, eventually into a "new normal", and it can take however long YOU need it to take.

If the people around you have been backing away, possibly because they want to help but don't know how, you have every right to tell them exactly what you want or need. Sometimes it helps to just have quiet company, or a friend to hold you up while you deal with some errand that feels impossible to do alone. And it's okay for that friend to feel useless, because what matters is that the friend KEEPS BEING there.

I know you feel alone. I wish I could be there to show you that you're not alone, because I'm sure all of us here have felt much of the same desperate loss, like a heavy black pit of numb rage and pain, that feels like it will never go away...

It's okay to feel all of that. Colors may be muted, joyful things may no longer bring joy, random things may make you bawl and sob for no obvious reason at inappropriate times... It's ALL normal, because it's real for you.

It will, eventually, excruciatingly slowly, at some point, get less sharp, less heavy, less all-consuming. And that's okay, too...

You're not alone. We feel you, and it's okay.

- Scienna
Scienna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
possum220
CalMSW
Member
CalMSW has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: Hemet, CA
Posts: 43
8 yr Member
76 hugs
given
Default Oct 23, 2020 at 10:36 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by 17Dar View Post
I lost my mom and my unborn baby at .6 weeks. Back in June. I think my body is finally wanting to grieve and I feel so alone!

I cry at night 😭. Christian music I used to enjoy brought me to absolute tears today.....I. Feel. So lost. I'm some stuff that I wish I could have mom to talk to,but she's gone and that makes it harder. I don't know what to do.
I'm so sorry to hear you had two big losses in one month. That would be devastating. I have times when things that bring me joy don't work for me anymore.

I am caring for my husband of 23 years. He can barely walk, and he's not as aware of his environment as he used to me. I miss the old Bob. I have a hard time talking about him, so I'm taking a break from Facebook for a while. Many people have sent their condolences, and a some friends and relatives have asked what's wrong with him. I responded to those requests. I am trying to be strong for both my husband and his twin brother who lives with us, and it's hard.
CalMSW is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:33 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.