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  #1  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 10:08 PM
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seeker33 seeker33 is offline
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Location: Europe
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This Tuesday my dear mum died suddenly. I can't say it was unexpected, but definitely not in this way!
She'd been battling leukaemia for 8 years but her results of bone marrow were perfect! Last week her hematologist called that she was still in remission and they were very satisfied with her blood results. She could continue with her treatment that would prevent the cancer from returning. She was excited and so happy! We planned to celebrate great news. We wanted to have a little party in our small family.

On Thursday, she got a mild discomfort in her stomach, but nothing worth mentioning. On Friday night she vomited. On Saturday she was very sleepy, vomited and couldn't eat. She felt better Sunday morning. She cooked lunch, washed dishes and ironed clothes.

Sunday afternoon she stumbled when walking, spilled a glass of water and had a few minor memory /concentration issues. She planned to go to her Dr the next day.

After midnight on Sunday (Monday morning) both dad and me had to support her on her way to the bathroom. She probably didn't see well. She was disoriented. She fell asleep again when suddenly she began coughing out water and couldn't turn her head to the side. We had to put her in a stabilised position. We called the ambulance.

When they came, they asked her if she knew where she was. She did know that correctly, however she couldn't tell what year it was and couldn't touch her nose with her finger. They took her with them at 2.46am Monday morning. We weren't allowed to go with her.
Monday at about 11-12 we were told she was unconscious and they did CT but there was no stroke, bleeding or clot in her brain. She wasn't reacting to any stimuli. But she was still breathing on her own. She was still in ordinary "internal department". In the afternoon/evening they put her into intensive care. At night they moved her to the resuscitation unit. Next day at noon (Tuesday) it was over.

They did all the tests and couldn't find any reason for this.

Now, I've lost my closest, most beloved being. Someone I spent all my weekends with, someone I called daily, who I depended on. You see I'm quite socially isolated, I don't have friends in this town, they're all over the country and abroad. My mum was here for me physically... To hug, to chat, cook and bake together...
Now dad has returned from their garden cottage (where they lived together with mum from the spring to the autumn) and he'll live with me in the flat. He's a good person but he never used to talk much and we never had a very close relationship because he used to sleep a lot and when he didn't sleep he was quiet or grumpy. He has a good heart and he is caring, but I don't really know him as a person...
But these days we're talking quite a lot and we do everything together. Perhaps this will strengthen our relationship...
But nothing can heal the wound of losing mummy in such a way.
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Last edited by feralkittymom; Oct 12, 2020 at 09:54 PM. Reason: added trigger icon
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  #2  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 10:19 PM
rise13eyond rise13eyond is offline
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I'm sorry dear, that would be a terrible experience. Much love to you and good luck with your dad.
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  #3  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 10:54 PM
guy1111 guy1111 is offline
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That's terrible news. I'm so sorry. Always makes me sad to hear about people's complicated struggles with health and life and death. I know how exhausting and emotional it is. Prayers for you!!
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  #4  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 10:57 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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I’m so sorry seeker : hug:
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  #5  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 03:18 AM
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splitimage splitimage is offline
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Seeker, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is really hard. Hope things work out with your Dad.
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My mum died
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  #6  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 03:49 AM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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Dear seeker, I am so sorry that you have lost the bestest mother, hugger and friend.

My mum died
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  #7  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 04:03 AM
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Crazy Hitch Crazy Hitch is offline
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Location: Australia
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I'm so sorry to hear this
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  #8  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 05:32 AM
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Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Location: Scotland, UK
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Wish there was a hug button on here.... I was going to say thank you but its inappropriate. I hope your as OK as you can be. I know about the close bond with my own Mum, was destroyed when she had her severe stroke in 2017 I miss her so much as although I still have her here we can no longer do things we use to do and it hurts. If I lost her though I would be extremely upset and possibly worse to be honest. A mother's love is like no other.

I hope you can reflect and go into your memories when you need to for comfort. I'm sure your memories are lovely and you can rely on them in need of comfort

Xxx
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  #9  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 09:16 AM
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seeker33 seeker33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
Wish there was a hug button on here.... I was going to say thank you but its inappropriate. I hope your as OK as you can be. I know about the close bond with my own Mum, was destroyed when she had her severe stroke in 2017 I miss her so much as although I still have her here we can no longer do things we use to do and it hurts. If I lost her though I would be extremely upset and possibly worse to be honest. A mother's love is like no other.

I hope you can reflect and go into your memories when you need to for comfort. I'm sure your memories are lovely and you can rely on them in need of comfort

Xxx
Thank you Miss Laura and I wish all the best to you and your mum. What you're going through is surely extremely difficult. Lots of strength to you!
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  #10  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 12:58 PM
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ShinyStar ShinyStar is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: uk
Posts: 19
I am very sorry to hear that your mom has passed away. Losing a parent is very hard. My mom died in 2012 and I still miss her like crazy.
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  #11  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 01:39 PM
Anonymous49105
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Seeker, I am so sorry.
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  #12  
Old Oct 08, 2020, 03:44 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Location: US
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I am so sorry, sending you hugs. My mom died in 2019 and it’s still very hard. Sending you my love
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  #13  
Old Oct 09, 2020, 12:50 AM
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zapatoes zapatoes is offline
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Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,266
I’m very sorry for your loss and losing a parent is difficult.

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  #14  
Old Oct 09, 2020, 03:48 AM
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sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
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Location: New Jersey
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My mum died

I am so, so sorry.
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  #15  
Old Oct 09, 2020, 05:21 AM
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lizardlady lizardlady is offline
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Seeker, I'm so sorry. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person.
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  #16  
Old Oct 09, 2020, 12:03 PM
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happysobercrafter happysobercrafter is offline
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Location: MO
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I am sorry to hear this; you have my heartfelt sympathies. This must be terrible to go through.
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  #17  
Old Oct 09, 2020, 12:29 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
Oh, seeker. I am so, so sorry for your painful loss. I hope you can eventually find some peace with not having your mom physically present in your life anymore.
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  #18  
Old Oct 10, 2020, 08:21 AM
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seeker33 seeker33 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
Thank you everyone for your kind words ❤️
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I love nature, simplicity and minimalism
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  #19  
Old Oct 10, 2020, 09:57 PM
mugwort2 mugwort2 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: Philadelphia PA.
Posts: 1,291
I am so sorry your mom passed. I know how rough it can be for you. Especially under such circumstances. May you get the support whatever it is you need. Hugs.
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  #20  
Old Oct 13, 2020, 12:47 PM
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hvert hvert is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: US
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I'm so sorry. It's hard to lose a parent and this was so sudden and unexpected.
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  #21  
Old Oct 13, 2020, 03:00 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,449
I'm so sorry you lost your mom. She sounds like she was a very loving person. I hope things with your dad go well. Sending loving thoughts your way.
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  #22  
Old Oct 13, 2020, 06:42 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,850
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
This Tuesday my dear mum died suddenly. I can't say it was unexpected, but definitely not in this way!
She'd been battling leukaemia for 8 years but her results of bone marrow were perfect! Last week her hematologist called that she was still in remission and they were very satisfied with her blood results. She could continue with her treatment that would prevent the cancer from returning. She was excited and so happy! We planned to celebrate great news. We wanted to have a little party in our small family.

On Thursday, she got a mild discomfort in her stomach, but nothing worth mentioning. On Friday night she vomited. On Saturday she was very sleepy, vomited and couldn't eat. She felt better Sunday morning. She cooked lunch, washed dishes and ironed clothes.

Sunday afternoon she stumbled when walking, spilled a glass of water and had a few minor memory /concentration issues. She planned to go to her Dr the next day.

After midnight on Sunday (Monday morning) both dad and me had to support her on her way to the bathroom. She probably didn't see well. She was disoriented. She fell asleep again when suddenly she began coughing out water and couldn't turn her head to the side. We had to put her in a stabilised position. We called the ambulance.

When they came, they asked her if she knew where she was. She did know that correctly, however she couldn't tell what year it was and couldn't touch her nose with her finger. They took her with them at 2.46am Monday morning. We weren't allowed to go with her.
Monday at about 11-12 we were told she was unconscious and they did CT but there was no stroke, bleeding or clot in her brain. She wasn't reacting to any stimuli. But she was still breathing on her own. She was still in ordinary "internal department". In the afternoon/evening they put her into intensive care. At night they moved her to the resuscitation unit. Next day at noon (Tuesday) it was over.

They did all the tests and couldn't find any reason for this.

Now, I've lost my closest, most beloved being. Someone I spent all my weekends with, someone I called daily, who I depended on. You see I'm quite socially isolated, I don't have friends in this town, they're all over the country and abroad. My mum was here for me physically... To hug, to chat, cook and bake together...
Now dad has returned from their garden cottage (where they lived together with mum from the spring to the autumn) and he'll live with me in the flat. He's a good person but he never used to talk much and we never had a very close relationship because he used to sleep a lot and when he didn't sleep he was quiet or grumpy. He has a good heart and he is caring, but I don't really know him as a person...
But these days we're talking quite a lot and we do everything together. Perhaps this will strengthen our relationship...
But nothing can heal the wound of losing mummy in such a way.
I'm very sorry that your mom died. My dad had four types of cancer. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
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seeker33
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seeker33
  #23  
Old Oct 14, 2020, 04:27 AM
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seeker33 seeker33 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I'm very sorry that your mom died. My dad had four types of cancer. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
I'm sorry about your dad, Buffy. It must have been a terrible experience for both him and you.
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
Please be strong!
__________________
Complex trauma
Highly sensitive person

I love nature, simplicity and minimalism
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  #24  
Old Oct 17, 2020, 02:25 PM
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Taylor27 Taylor27 is offline
healing from trauma
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,485
I just saw this post Seeker33, I am very sorry for you loss of your Mother. If you ever need to talk my pm is always there if you ever need to talk, im here to listen and be there for you. I lost my Mom when. Please be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself Hugs
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  #25  
Old Oct 17, 2020, 02:38 PM
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Mopey Mopey is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
(((((((( SEEKER33 ))))))))

My thoughts are with you.
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